This is the day where you go almost anywhere on the internet, and you start reading an article that almost doesn’t seem too outlandish in our world today, then suddenly it seems ridiculous, then you think WTF?!?!, then you notice the date.
I guess a lot depends on how early it is, if you’ve forgotten what day it is, etc. Really, it’s probably easier than ever to forget what day it is as they are all starting to blend together, what with the family being home all the time. Have to start leaving notes on the doors for upcoming appointments, etc.
But the April Fool prankster relies on surprise or you being distracted to catch you unawares. Certain lame elements remind me of the low end of puns. I like a clever pun– there just aren’t many out there. Most of them are groaners.
I appreciate a clever prank as well. I’ve seen some masters at work and have been on the receiving end of them as well. One time back in the ’90’s, my first office was in a cubicle. A coworker, Zeke, had skillfully slid all my furniture and the cube walls together, basically squeezing my office into a knot, with only the bare minimum space for me to walk behind my desk, creating a brief illusion there was nothing wrong …before realizing that the entire thing was screwed. It was pretty good but of course majorly irritating at the time. I found out who the culprits were, exacted some revenge on them but saved the majority of the retribution for Zeke, the mastermind. Being a writer, he usually got in to the office at about 7:30 or 8am to take advantage of the quiet. I got in at 5am. Went into his office, packed up each and every item on his desk, including the lamp and phone, everything, put them in a box, climbed up on the desk, removed a ceiling tile and deposited them up in there. Then, I went about turning all the remaining items in his office backwards. Desk, chairs, every one of his 100 bits and articles on his giant bulletin board, you name it. I then left a quote on his desk from Casey Kasem: “Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.” Then, when I got back to my office, I left him a message, so when he finally found his stuff and plugged his phone in, the little message light would be blinking.
The point I was trying to make was, if you prank me, I’ll prank you back. Hard.
The only other issue I had was another guy who thought it would be fun to rub a little cheese in the mouth piece of my phone, so when I was on the phone, I’d smell something but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Not bad, but I had to go into the holes of the mouthpiece with a toothpick to scrape out all the cheese. What to do in retaliation? I searched out an exotic seafood market somewhere in Chicago, found just the right sized squid (it might have been an octopus–it had tentacles), unwrapped it, and inserted it into the back of his lowest, least used desk drawer in his office.
Late Friday night.
Before a long, hot, three day weekend.
He realized his situation pretty quickly come Tuesday morning. No one else pranked me after that.
My buddy Lou had a great running phone gag he’d play on our friend Debby though. Just about every year for a while. He’s a good actor and he’d really sell it each time. Always got her, too. I’m paraphrasing here, forgive me if I get it wrong, Lou.
*ring*
Debby: “Hello?”
Lou: “Hi, I’d like to speak to Bob Walls please.”
Debby: “I’m sorry, there’s no Bob Walls here.”
Lou: “Alright, can I speak to David Walls please?”
Debby: “No, sorry, no one here by that name.”
Lou: “That’s odd, I thought for sure this was the number. Is Jenny Walls there?”
Debby: “No, look, there is no one here by that name.”
Lou: “So, you have no Walls there at all?”
Debby: “No, there are no Walls here!”
Lou: “Then what’s holding up your ceiling?”
Then was usually a lot of swearing on one end of the line and guffawing on the other.
Anyway, recite that entire bit while you wash your hands.
And remember, careful who you prank. Payback is hell.
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