Page 8

WandaVision Wrap-Up (spoilers)

I think we can safely categorize WandaVision as a thumbs up for Marvel, Disney, and Kevin Fiege. Another notch on the MCU gun belt, or bedpost or however one celebrates another quality product added to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

And make no mistake, the screen might have been smaller but this was basically a Marvel movie sliced into segments.

First, the kudos. Elizabeth Olsen is a joy. She handled the faux sitcom versions of Wanda quite nicely, as she relived the happier moments of her childhood when her father would bring sitcom DVD collections home. There’s something wrong with her, though. You see, she’s not right in the head. At the very least, *understandably*, Wanda has issues. More on this later.

Yes, Olsen also rocked the Scarlet Witch Halloween costume.

Paul Bettany. He’s had such a prominent role going back to 2008’s Iron man, I’m so glad he got the promotion from AI to synthezoid. You really feel for the character though, being thrust into this very bizarre corner of the Twilight Zone, mixed with I Love Lucy, The Dick Van Dyke show, Bewitched, etc. Bettany is truly marvelous as Vision though. He’s really made the most of his four appearances.

The story as a whole turned out to be a fairly basic superhero/villain confrontation with few surprises, but a very action packed and emotional climax.

WandaVision was gutsy in its experimentation. Having the audience sit through the first *three* episodes (of nine), featuring mostly nothing but cheesy versions of old sitcoms from the ’50’s, ’60’s and ’70’s was BOLD. Episode four brought us back to reality, and it was that middle stretch that really got the Internet tucked in and speculating.

Unfortunately, that was part of the problem. The creators of the show really enjoyed throwing around a bunch of hints and Easter eggs that were dead ends, but were guaranteed to make people wonder. And then they didn’t pay off, which was a bit of a let down. Some were downright cruel and unusual, and frankly, a bit weak. Example:

Evan Peters was specifically cast as Pietro, Wanda’s brother. Peters portrayed Pietro/Quicksilver in the Fox studios version of the X-men movie franchise, which Disney acquired a while back. So, in *casting* Peters, there was the insinuation that there was something big happening there with Wanda’s ever growing powers, that she either actually dragged a Pietro from an alternate reality or at least built some magical construct with his likeness. That was the tease. A reasonable assumption, considering her power set. I mean, in Endgame, she was actually kicking Thanos’ ass.

Nope, THIS Pietro was…..just an actor that Agatha gave powers to, to mess with Wanda. More on Agatha in a minute. That reveal was a dud, and extremely weak sauce. The creators thought they were being clever, I guess. Yeah, they were just screwing with us.

There were also other bits and pieces that were dangled in front of viewers, all of which came to nothing. Monica makes a random mention of an aerospace engineer she knows, which made a lot of comic fans wonder if she was talking about Reed Richards. No, nothing there, so no reason to mention him. The show takes place in Westview, New Jersey, which got theories cooking about the significance of that placement. NJ was where Steve Rogers trained, and where we last saw Arnim Zola’s computer consciousness in Winter Soldier. Did Zola have a part in this? He was all about brainwashing after all and Wanda’s acting weird, but….no.

Don’t even get me started on the Grim Reaper/Wonder man/Vision connection theories. And what about that witness that Jimmy Woo was after? He/she was residing in Westview in the protection program? No significance. Was Heyward really the Mephisto (the devil)? Or Ultron? No, but that was a stretch anyway. He was just a petty, power mad, asshole. But to be fair, if they dangle the stuff out there, it’s hard for comic fans to ignore. Mind you, now that we’ve had a really big dose of them being “cape-teases”, it’ll be easier to ignore that crap next time.

The creators also liked to indulge themselves well past the expiration date on the sitcom gag. In ep 7, well after figuring out that something’s amiss, Vision still sat down for a Modern Family style interview for comedy. It came off as a bit wrong footed, especially considering Vision was almost torn apart the episode before when he tried to leave the bubble.

Side note: what was with the whole nonsense with the “six hour running time”? They made a big to do about the 9 (or maybe 10!– they were unsure?) episodes will feature SIX HOURS of content! They were very proud of this. It was also BS. If this were true, the finale would have been at *least* 90 minutes, not 48. This was silly from the get go, as there were extra long credits at the end of each ep. There were the main credits, then extra credits on black, and THEN, more credits repeated in different languages for different markets. The first episode was just marginally longer than the entirety of the credits! If you had strung all the credits together on all nine eps, you’d get about at least an hour, and I’m being generous there. But *that’s* part of the “six hours of content”. But I digress.

Teyonah Harris plays Monica Rambeau, who is a delight as she becomes Photon– and I had to jump back in here to remark about her, because the more I think about it, the less I think she was integral to the actual story. she was great, and we see how she gets her powers, so it was all vastly important to her but more or less, her participation was really a set up for the next Captain Marvel movie.

Teyonah Parris as Monica Rambeau in Marvel Studios’ WANDAVISION exclusively on Disney+. Photo courtesy of Marvel Studios. ©Marvel Studios 2020. All Rights Reserved.

Agnes/Agatha Harkness. A centuries old Witch herself, Agnes insinuated herself into Westview just to examine Wanda, and more importantly, steal her powers, deeming her unworthy of them. There’s an argument to be made that she was the protagonist, as she was ultimately working against Wanda, who mentally enslaved the entire town. After all, it was Wanda who was doing all the damage. As Agatha correctly stated “heroes don’t torture people”. Agatha just coveted that immense power. She was no angel though. She was played by Katherine Hahn, and I liked her better as Agatha. Her standard, over the top, high school review style, mugging to the camera as nosey neighbor Agnes was akin to fingernails on a blackboard for me.

The twins, Tommy and Billy. This is a whole thing. Until it wasn’t. Bear with me.

In the *comics*, Wanda created the twins, using dark magic, so she and Vision could have a family. Unfortunately, the magic was not hers to take, and the twins were essentially borrowed segments of an evil creature’s soul. The boys got ripped away from Wanda, and ceased to exist, around the same time the government stole Vision and disassembled him. The resulting trauma caused Wanda to lose her mind. She snapped, and reality got broken. BAD THINGS HAPPENED.

So of course, one worried what would happen in the show, when Wanda lost her family. Really, separating ANY mother and her cubs causes an extreme reaction. You know what I mean. After all, she actually gave birth in ep 3, and even though the creepy little guys aged themselves to ten years old an ep later, they were her kids. After losing her parents, her brother, then Vision, losing her kids? Ruh roh.

Turns out, nothing much happened. Eh, she was a bit sad but pretty much okay.

No she’s not.

See, either the kids meant almost nothing to her, OR she’s planning to get them back. Either this was some storytelling that didn’t quite ring true, or all part of the plan in the writers room. Because Wanda took ALL of this fairly well. Too well. She’s got decent odds of seeing Vision again but her kids…

Oh, and she’s sorry about all the pain she caused, the torturing of the populace of Westview, the nightmare she caused for all those people. Sorry! Although I imagine the residents might miss the pristine condition of the sitcom version of Westview architecture. The actual place looks like a dump. But hey, about all the terror, tears and torture? Wanda’s sorry! Let it go!

They’d better hurry up and get Netflix’s Daredevil/Matt Murdock into the MCU, because I can see a huge class action suit being brought against super villain Wanda Maximoff, by the good people of Westview. She’s going to need a lawyer.

The larger point I’m trying to make here is that yes, Wanda really does have a screw loose, and yes, she is a villain. Her life has been horrible for pretty much forever, yes, with only brief windows of happiness, snuggling with a British robot. But however sympathetic, she’s still a villain.

No one WANTED her to be a villain. The fanboys wouldn’t hear of it. Oh, she can’t be! It must be some other force behind all this! Nope, just her. The creators even tried to create their own meme, saying it was Agatha all along, but aside from tweaking Wanda by bringing in Pietro and trying to mess with her in general, she wasn’t behind much of anything.

Agatha was only waiting for her moment to step in and steal power. The woman on the outskirts of town perpetually hanging laundry, crying? That was Wanda’s doing. Dottie’s daughter, and god knows how many other people trapped in the Westview nightmare, separated from their lives and loved ones, suffering? Wanda.

Finally, she also unearthed her true identity as The Scarlet Witch.

That’s a pretty ominous note. When we last see her, she’s tucking into the Darkholde, a gripping little page turner also known as The Book of the Damned. The Scarlet Witch’s power is said to exceed that of the Sorcerer Supreme himself, who we know as Dr. Strange. So Cumberbatch is going to have his hands full in his next movie, as I believe the Scarlet Witch features in that one. By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth!

And as we last see Wanda floating, reading and absorbing, we hear the twins. The other shoe drops. Even as she said goodbye to the twins, or nonchalantly sent them to fight the military, even as she dressed up in that Halloween costume, she subconsciously knew who and what she was, and she knew she’d find a way to bring the kids back. Whatever it takes. That’s why she was as calm as she was.

So I have no idea how they’ll bring Wanda back to the side of the angels (if they even can), or if it’ll be believable, because she is officially trouble. It’ll be a bit easier with Vision. Of course, we now have the White Vision with his memories back, and after some soul searching, he’ll probably be back in season two, if not Dr. Strange: The Multiverse of Madness.

The rebooting of Vision wasn’t that surprising. I figured that between whatever essence of the Vision that had resided in Wanda, his access to memory files, etc., and the speculation from the Avengers in Infinity War, about what’s left of him after removing the Mind Stone, we’d get Vision back at some point.

But like I say, he’s not the problem. Good luck with Wanda!

Now, it’s time for Falcon and the Winter Soldier!

Final Covid Update!

Figured I’d utilize the blog for one final update.

For those who wondered, I’m pretty much back to normal—whatever normal is for a 58 year old, overweight me. I’d say lung capacity is probably at 90 -95% and I can do stuff like the 45 lb kettle bell, weights, crunches, push ups, etc. So, I’m mostly back to normal, almost.

There’s juuuuust one thing, and the only reason I’m putting it out there is that no one freaks out later on. Here’s the thing—*Because Covid hit so hard, I lost about 25 pounds in two and a half weeks. History has shown with me (had a deathly virus back in the ’80’s, too), that that type of rapid weight loss, and punishment to my system comes at a cost: my hair’s falling out. More and more every day in the shower.

**Before all you armchair doctors out there start speculating, no, it’s not the cancer come back–had a PET scan a few months ago. All clear on the front, no worries. No, this is because of the beating I took via COVID. SO, at some point in the near future, I might just shave the head again.

In fact, that’s very likely. I say it’s better to go out in a shaving blaze of glory instead of slowly turning into Gollum. It’s not too bad yet but the time is coming. Sure, there are a lot of hairs on the human head but when you’re losing 50 to 80 each day since Christmas, it eventually starts to be a bit noticeable.

Just sayin’. The last thing I want is to do a hot sauce video, people see the bald head and freak out. And hey, it may stop falling out, grow back, etc. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll rub an onion on my bald pate.

But the headline is, pretty much over Covid. Well, I think we’re all pretty much OVER it, but you get my meaning.

Because the Thing IS.

This is The End

This is number 366 of 366.

A Leap Year, because 2020 was just so great, it *just* needed to be longer. Ironically, for ME, all things considered, 2020 was an improvement on 2019.

Yeah.

So….. In the past year:

*I’ve given you my many thoughts, opinions and reviews on many things.

*I’ve related true events from my past.

*I’ve created all new characters, artwork and fictional written pieces.

*I’ve given you the silly, the sad, the serious. The confessions and the truths.

*I’ve ended up smack dab in the midst of the medical drama I had hoped to avoid.

THE THING IS…

If you weave these threads together, you really do get a tapestry that represents my life. Past, present and possible future, at least the stuff that’s remotely interesting.

To those of you that actually read it all, thank you for caring enough to go the distance.

To those who haven’t, well, it’s all still there. You just need to scroll.

This has been… the Book of Rick.

The Purple Throbber- In Memoriam

They filed into the church slowly, quietly, reverently. Most didn’t notice the lovely architecture, the elegantly arching beams, the intricate stained glass, all hundreds of years old. No, the focus was on the far end of the center aisle that cut through the great space.

Straight ahead, was the raised platform containing a podium to the left, a generous arrangement of flowers to the right, and of course, the coffin in between.

For those coming to pay their respects, seeing this made the unthinkable notion begin to gain more weight.

The Purple Throbber was dead.

Soon, the pews were filled to capacity, with thousands more outside holding vigil. Aside from the occasional rustling and shifting in their seats, there was mostly silence, as the visitors stared into the distance, lost in thought.

It was decided that Captain Sanderson would speak, having known the Throbber for most of his career. The Captain respected the hero and his accomplishments, saving the city time and again. He never knew his secret identity, and out of respect, even in death, the mask stayed on, secret intact. The man who’d assisted law enforcement so many times that he was eventually duly deputized, rested peacefully within his enclosed tomb in full costume.

Standing behind the podium, the Captain looked out among the crowd, seeing a wide variety of civilians, heroes and even known villains come to pay their respects to a worthy foe. Razorback Hazel and her blades sat an aisle away from the Freedom Fund. Major Justice sat shoulder to shoulder with King Mole, after years of bloody confrontations. Such was the respect they all had for the guest of honor, that a truce held for as long as the ceremony went on.

With all the civilians in attendance, the Captain wondered if there was anyone out there who actually knew the Purple Throbber’s other life, his civilian identity? In the end, he suppose it didn’t matter. It was time. He stepped up to the microphone

“I knew him.” He began, “I worked with him. He saved my life more times than I’d like to admit. Once or twice, I was even able to return the favor.”

Vvvvvvv.

Some turned their heads, wondering who didn’t silence their vibrating cell phone. The Captain continued.

“I think back, and it never mattered how big the threat was, PT stepped up to confront it. He always had a plan. Usually a pretty solid one. If I ever questioned his judgement, it was with his name!”

This got a laugh, a welcome breath of ease.

Vvvvvvvmmmmmm.

“Ha, listen, if someone needs to get that, if perhaps it’s an emergency, please do. I know we have virtually everyone in here though, so what could it be?”

Another chuckle danced across the room.

Vvvvvvmmmmmmmmmmm-MMMM

Suddenly, the captain’s eyes went wide, as he realized that was no cell phone. The vibration was continuous now and slowly growing. The guests started to murmur….. some thought they recognized that sound, that….. feeling.

All eyes were now on what seemed to be the source of the vibration.

The coffin itself.

Everyone in attendance was frozen in place. They could not, DARE not move.

MMMMMMMVVVVVVVVVVMMMMMMMMMMM

The flowers were now dancing and falling off the stage. The Captain hung onto the shaking podium. The very pews themselves seem to be coming loose, starting to skitter across the floor.

SMASH! CRASH! BASH! Went the stained glass windows, one by one.

And as the vibrations seem to reach their peak, the lid of the coffin shot straight up into the air, exploding through the ceiling like a cannon ball.

The vibration stopped.

Silence. The masses, as if statues, dare not even allowed themselves to breathe….

Yet there was breathing.

Eyes threatened to pop out of skulls, as all attention was on the Purple clad figure sitting up in his not so final resting place, yawning, stretching his arms, as if waking from a deep, wonderful sleep.

Opening his eyes, taking in his surroundings, he sleepily asked

“Hey…”

“Wha hoppen?”

The Mandalorian, Season Two (spoilers)

Jon Favreau has done a really admirable job bringing to life a corner of the Star Wars universe that’s pretty fresh and interesting. Season two continues Mando’s journey with his infant charge, who we now know is named Grogu. (Excellent name) They navigate through some set up adventures, at least one so-so filler adventure to lead into the second half, where things start to heat up.

We’re treated to a live action version of Ahsoka, a very popular character in the Clone Wars animated series, Anakin’s old sidekick, played here by Rosario Dawson. (Soon to be getting her win Disney+ show?) Possibly Favreau’s greatest achievement to date, because RD is just simply the best. Celebrity cliche guest appearance be damned. It’s one of the few celebrity insertions that actually works to the show’s favor, as opposed to being distracted by the latest guy who just “wants to be in a Star Wars production, because it’s all the rage.”

But in season 2, Favreau does finally represent as a Fetter. A Boba-buddy. He drank the Kool-Aid. In my eyes, people in this camp mystify me, especially with how hey perceive and alter reality. Favreau is obviously one of those who worshipped Boba Fett as a true bad ass in the original trilogy. Mind you, when you’re 8 years old and you see Empire Strikes Back for the first time, I can see where and how you’ve been utterly taken in. The sleight of hand of brilliant director Irving Kerschner probably fooled some adults too. Fett was mostly kept to the shadows, seen only in glimpses. His greatest “victory” as far as vanquishing prey was blowing C3PO to bits.

Make no mistake– that made Fett an asshole, a true bad guy and a stone cold killer, but not a bad ass. Beating up C3PO is not *really* an amazing accomplishment.

And that’s all he does, beyond standing around, showing off the armor. Even the armor seems to make some fans all quivery. As far as armor design goes in the SW universe, even that’s not that impressive. But over all, credit Kerschner with the talent to take virtually nothing, and impress.

The true tragedy for the Fett-lings comes in Return of the Jedi, where Lucas just continues to show bad judgement and that he doesn’t know how to be respectful of his own characters. He chucks Fett into the Sarlac pit and *burp*, Boba’s story is done. A lame end for a lame villain. I do blame Lucas, as, if you’re going to needlessly kill a villain, do it with style, but George has NONE. (See: Darth Maul) But of course, the Fett-ites scurried around with their conspiracy theories for decades about how the clone actually managed to survive the pit. Good riddance says I, George screwed the pooch, let him cuddle with it afterward, but here’s the thing:

If one of the delusional believers actually gets to eventually create his own Star Wars show, realities will bend to the fan who’s now in charge. This was Favreau’s petition.

Boba Fett is back. Now, he’s an amazing fighter, capable of taking down a squadron with only a club. He’s amazing. He’s noble. A healer. He’s now everything 8 year old Jon Favreau ever hoped he’d be.

Just sayin’.

I’d certainly want this unbeatable version on my side!

And really, hey, I shouldn’t bag on Favreau for upgrading a character big time, even if it is wish fulfillment. Better to have a worthy character in the mix than a useless one.

Massive overcompensation aside, yeah, he’s back, FWIW. Had he been half this dangerous 40 years ago, he’d never have been defeated by slapstick and a Sarlak.

Gotta say though, this season has been flooded with Stormtroopers A.K.A. jokes. Yes, the armor design on these guys have always been wonderful but jeez, how do any of them keep showing up for a fight in those pathetic suits? Moving on….

We also see the return of Bill Burr’s Migs Mayfield character. When last we saw him, he was kind of a stone cold, murderous prick, menacing toward the kid, a truly unlikable cold blooded killer. This season, he’s a compassionate guy with a heart of gold. This is either crazy character adjustment on the fly or someone’s not paying attention. Or…. Migs is just…. mercurial? Prison really done him a world of good?

And we get an extended shot of Mando having his helmet off. Point’s fairly moot now, since the mystery was blown last year but thankfully everyone in the crowd who he allowed to see his face died, except the now lovable Mayfield.

On one hand, early in the show, we see Mando fully armored with all his rules about Mandalorians, The Way, allowing non Mando’s to wear armor, never letting anyone see his face, etc. As the series progresses, we see each of these sacred rules wiped away. I’m of two minds on this. Is it just natural character growth for the character, or is everything getting wiped away a little too quickly? By season 4, might we see Mando in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt operating more like Magnum P.I.?

As much as I like how Favreau has crafted the show in general, some eps are clearly mindless filler, and as I say, certain characters seem a bit inconsistent.

Still, The Mandalorian is still better than most Star Wars out there.

Side note: I should point out that when I say that, I’m talking about live action Star Wars. There are several seasons of animated SW content, with Clone Wars and Rebels, that are really good. My friend, author Eric San Juan turned me on to some of these episodes, and I was very impressed. The writing, character development and direction there is also far superior to either the prequels or the sequels.

Back to season 2…

Of course, leading up to the big finale, Grogu has been abducted by Moff Fring’s forces, and it’s up to Mando and his band to save him.

It’s kind of incredible how Giancarlo Esposito seems to be popping up as the big bad everywhere–to me, anyway–as I just happen to watch this, and The Boys, where yep, he’s once again big bad. I hope he sends Vince Gilligan a Christmas card every year. But I digress…

The finale was very good, with a couple surprises and guest stars (unless you were spoiled by the usual idiots on YouTube).

Going forward, it seems like it’s going to be a fairly different show for obvious reasons, but I look forward to it. And this was news to me— I never wait for any kind of after credit sequence but as this was the finale, I decided to wait it out and BOOM, a whole scene! So now I have to wonder if every ep had post credit bits.

But will I go back…..?

CHEESE COUNT HUZZAH!!!!!!’

Months ago, I marveled at the collection of cheeses we just happened to have in our meat and cheese drawer in the fridge. I believe I one time counted 10 different cheeses residing in the chilled compartment. Kind of boggled my mind at the time. So I figured I’d take another look and see where we are now. Really, with the blog still in play, my last chance to make an *official* cheese report.

As a caveat, some cheeses we have in two forms, like shredded sharp cheddar, and sharp cheddar slices. I’m just counting sharp cheddar.

We begin.

1.Sharp cheddar

2.Blue

3.mozzarella

4.chihuahua

5.gorgonzola

6.goat

7.feta

8.asiago

9.fontina

10.provolone

11.brie

12.parmesan

If everyone will please sit down, I’ll make my closing comments.

Yes, this IS a new record breaking total! An even dozen!

Yes, this DOES turn 2020 around into a huge win!

Yes, I’m now hungry for cheese.

Yes, had I counted up the contents a couple days ago as I originally intended, I might even have found more.

We can all rest easy knowing we’re all set for cheese.

I’m actually surprised we were out of honey goat cheese, as we often have that.

I feel that if we really apply ourselves, we’ll buy more cheese.

Actually, I mostly eat the cheddar, maybe a little blue here and there.

Everything else goes into recipes, I believe.

CHEESE, WONDERFUL CHEESE!

It’s good and good *for* you!

Cheese.

Why is Star Trek VS Star Wars even a Thing?

Full disclosure right out of the box, that of the two, my allegiance is to Star Trek, but fear not. I’ll be fair and balanced here.

Once in a while, I’ll run into a rather devoted Star Trek fan, who is in discussion with a devoted Star Wars fan. Almost inevitably, the little digs start getting traded. I’d imagine some discussions get down right irate, but in nerd culture, that always happens. And really, you know *why* these Trek V Wars discussions ever even happen?

Because the names both have “Star” in the titles.

That’s it. The *only* reason there’s any competition whatsoever. It’s actually kind of stupid. The two franchises have very little in common, aside from there being outer space elements. Apples and oranges.

Star Trek is science fiction. Star Wars is fantasy.

And no, Star Wars isn’t science fiction because they don’t come anyway near employing actual science, or when they’ve tried, they got it wrong, or it just seemed a bit out of place, so actual science is ignored in favor of magic and fantasy. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You got your good guys, the Jedi’s, vs the bad guys, the Empire and the Sith, or variations there of. You have The Force, that is everywhere, and can be manipulated by some for good or evil. Star Wars just has more in common with sword and sorcery stuff, D&D, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, than any sci-fi franchise. “A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away” is just a more elegant way of saying “once upon a time…”.

Meanwhile, Star Trek, in its many tv shows and movies shows us humanity’s possible future in the 22nd, 23rd and 24th centuries. It revolves around The United Federation of Planets and it’s exploratory/military branch, Starfleet. The service utilizes the old naval ranking system and we see various crews in starships and space stations on many an adventure. But these fictional takes are grounded in humanity and very much in real science.

As for quality, well, neither franchise is perfect, I’ll leave it at that, but both are still around and thriving.

But really, since both are so ridiculously different, the next time there’s a “which is better?” argument creeping in, just remind the combatants that they’re two different genres all together.

Then remind them that Doctor Who is superior to both.

The Shorts Thing

I don’t know if anyone has ever noticed this before but probably more often than not, I wear shorts.

No, seriously.

This’ll blow your mind—I even wear them in the winter.

Yes, I wear then for comfort. Much more flexibility of movement. Helps keep me cool. There happen to be extra pockets on the kind I wear, too, which is very convenient.

The “helps keep me cool” thing is huge too, as I am a human blast furnace.

Mind you, that partially ties in with my weight. It goes up, so does my internal temp. In fact, my standard temp is 97.6, one degree cooler than the accepted norm, mostly because I’m always throwing off heat.

Post COVID, I’m actually a bit chillier, as I lost some weight. I’d like to keep the majority of it off. We’ll see.

The shorts in winter is what people can’t seem to comprehend, as it’s OUTSIDE THE REALM OF THE NORMALLY ACCEPTED WAY.

“Oh my god, aren’t you freezing?!??!” “You’re not wearing paaaants!” “I’m calling animal control!!!!!”

But there really is a method to the “madness.”

Come winter time, I used to drive to the store to get a coffee. No matter the temp, be it below zero or whatever, I’d wear shorts. Because I’m only outside for 20 seconds, car to store and back.

When I used to go downtown every day to work, I’d have to walk a half mile to the train. If it was mild and above freezing, I’d go shorts, as the walk would also generate heat. If I was wearing long pants, I’d be sweating.

However, if it were 40, with freezing rain of nasty flurries, I’d go long pants. I might have my shorts with me to change into at work. See? I’m not too crazy.

Because that’s another factor. At work, you never know who’s going to be over-compensating with turning up the heat. There were a couple days when I ended up in long pants at work, just miserable in the heat. It was not fun.

Speaking of going to work, I forget what year it was, but I realized that that particular winter where I wore shorts every single day going to work, was the single healthiest winter I’d ever had. Something about the weird way my body processes things, temp, whatever. But yeah, there you have it.

I’m by no means alone. Lots of guys have adopted the shorts year ‘round practice.

Me going from commuter to work at home over the years has made it that much easier. Lockdown and post COVID, even more so.

So yes, I do have my daily “uniform”, as my friend Mike calls it, shorts and a polo shirt every day. It’s what I like.

Keeping an assortment of the exact same things in your closet keeps your choices simple and to the point. And Einstein did it to. Einstein.

JUST SAYIN’.

Santa– How does he do it?

He manages to deliver hundreds of millions of presents to everyone’s homes all across the world in one evening. Well, in 24 hours really, if you work your way across the world, racing the sun and the international dateline. Still, that’s a lot of ground to cover in that time period.

Is he a good guy or a bad guy? After all, Santa is an anagram of Satan. Seems a bit of a negative stretch as well as an unfortunate anagram coincidence.

Happily, most consider the more positive side, with him being a beneficial entity, albeit infinitely powerful. This would tend to make more sense, as let’s face it, Santa has been doing wonderful things in this fashion for centuries, so I *think* we’re safe in assuming he’s good guy.

But the point of this discussion is how does he do it? How does he make the deliveries all over the globe in one night?

Time portals? Magic?

Possibly, abilities and technologies so far advanced from what we know that we would perceive them as magic with our little monkey brains.

My guess, and I’ve given this some thought, is that there possibly are a couple things at play.

First, is that Santa, whether by birth or by technological advancement, is an entity who is capable of super speed, allowing him to be 1,000 times more productive than a regular person.

Second, he somehow has the ability to also locally slow down time to a crawl. Time slowing down by a thousand fold combined with him speeding up a thousand fold, makes the job getting accomplished in the time allowed seem more reasonable.

Third, I’m thinking some type of transporter tech rings true, along with varied holograms, projecting his image into certain houses just for fun. Presents appear under the tree, while there’s a hint of a Santa image nearby, perhaps by the tree or the fireplace. If he can program the system for whole neighborhoods simultaneously, as he hovers in orbit aboard the galactic sleigh, it would certainly streamline the process.

Of course, there this another option. An amazing option.

That Santa, as an entity, doesn’t even have to inhabit a physical body. Perhaps he learned many centuries ago, that to be that much more effective, he’d transform himself into the true spirit of Christmas. A spirit that would spread across the world and come to rest in each of us. To lighten our hearts and spread cheer.

Oh, there’s still the master list out there of what everyone wants. But with Santa residing deep within each of us, what better way to communicate directly to families on what to get each other?

Perhaps that Santa spirit is what powers the whole experience! Seems almost crazy simple. But nice.

So there you go. A few options. Of course I can’t know 100% if I’m right or not.

But Santa knows.

He always knows.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all.

The Evolution of My Coffee

I’m a big iced coffee guy. Year ‘round.

Yes these ARE the trivial nooks and crannies of my life—a reminder, that’s what this blog is. You string all 366 together, you’ve pretty much got me. My life, such as it is.

And I drink iced coffee.

I can’t do hot coffee, as I as a rule don’t do hot liquids.

Sure, there are exceptions to the rule, as I do like certain soups etc. but I really can’t do hot coffee. Drinking *any* coffee started about 25 years ago.

Back in the day, I liked my Frappachino’s at Starbucks. This was before the first time I went on Jenny Craig. It was after that, and altering my coffee style that at some point, I tasted a Frappachino again and realized just how sweet it was.

YIKES! But you can see how why the high school kids would line up for them.

At the height of my dietary awareness, I think I put the poor Starbucks girls through their paces. I’m trying to remember what exactly I asked for—I think it was a venti, iced, no water, 4 splendor’s, top with soy milk. Actually, considering the crazy things some folks ask for, maybe that wasn’t too nuts.

Over time though, I bugged them less and just cobbled together something on my own. Less chance of something going wrong. I’d go to the side and add some packets of spend and some cream. That’s still what I do today at any coffee shop.

And no, it’ll be quite some while before I go to the coffee shop, any coffee shop again.

But for the longest time, we’ve had a routine at home—

Before my bout with COVID, the drill used to go like this:

Linda would make her coffee. There’d be a fair amount left later in the morning. I would then fill up my big Starbuck’s plastic cup with the straw—one of those permanent, hard plastic ones—, put it in the fridge and the next morning, I’d have a cold coffee waiting for me. I’d add ice, cream, and a couple/three Truvia.

Now, you may say “What ho, Rick, why not just pour hot coffee over ice?”

Well, sure, I could, but then I’d have a glass of watered down, lame coffee. No.

This method keeps the coffee’s intensity intact, no watering down.

The alternative at home, when Linda happens to not make her coffee in the morning for whatever reason, are the Starbucks jugs they sell at the store. I can always pour some of that into a glass, bingo, bango, boom.

Post COVID, I’m keeping it even simpler, with a fairly small glass of Starbucks, or Dunkin’ Donuts brand with a bit of cream and Trivia. It gives me a tiny bit of a pick me up, as you’d imagine.

This wasn’t interesting, but it is me…..

COFFEE!