It was around September of 1973. I was in Michigan with my mom as we often were during Labor Day weekend, visiting my cousins. We’d visit and half the weekend was dedicated to watching the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy telethon. There’s a strange, morbid curiosity involved in watching a man put himself through the grinder, live on tv for 48 hours straight. Jerry usually grabbed some shuteye in the wee hours of Monday morning, that rest period grew longer as he got older, but I think at the beginning he may have rode those entire marathons out live. It was Vegas after all. It was very interesting to see these folks live, tired, wired and whatever else they may have been on, but my cousins and I usually were up late Sunday night watching the festivities and the big time celebrities of the day–hey, here comes Tom Jones! (Look it up, kids) but I really digressed here…

So that Friday night, as was the tradition back in the ’70’s, they’d show a preview of the new Saturday morning cartoon line up, starting the very next morning and 11 year old me was very excited. You see, there was a new superhero cartoon premiering and it looked like it had something to do with the Justice League. The preview was a bit worrying though. They played the new theme song and it was pretty great. Go ahead, click here for that taste.

Bombastic, inspiring, exhilarating… the announcer started giving us the line up…. the four greatest heroes…. well, ok……Superman, yeah, ok, he’s saving a train…Wonder Woman–wait, Wonder Woman gets second billing? Okay, she’s flying the invisible jet, yeah, yeah, okay, here we go…Batman! Oh, he’s got Robin with him….all he’s doing is driving the Batmobile, and what the hell is this? Two kids and a dog try to hop a ride in the Batmobile? Wait a minute, first off, the Batmobile has not now, nor ever been a four seater. What the….. the dog’s wearing a cape, oh come ON! Oh Jesus, here comes Aquaman, great, grab some fish. The hitchhiking kids are identified as Wendy, Marvin and Wonderdog. Wears a cape.. so does Marvin. Hmm. That scraping sound heard the world over at that moment was my eyes rolling to such an extent as to escape through back of my skull.

Arguably the only cool hero in the group is shuttling around kids in a Bat-station wagon. This was worrisome. The last time I’d had the opportunity to watch a Batman cartoon was maybe five years earlier with the Adventures of Batman by Filmation. The look of the cartoon was a nice mix of sensibilities from the comic of the time and Carmine Infantino’s costume designs and the pacing and adventures similar to the Adam West live action version. Some limited but dynamic animation as the caped crusaders would throw Batatangs and punches on screen, tackling the usual bunch of villains. It came on the heels of the West show and of course, that was the gold standard at the time, punch outs producing giant sound effects and featuring wild death traps and cliffhangers as the dynamic duo fought the bad guys. The West show ended in ’68 and a mere five years later, we’d now descended to Batman driving children and their pets around the neighborhood? And seriously, where was the Flash and Green Lantern? I’d always ranked them higher than Aquaman, COME ON, NOW!

The following Saturday morning confirmed all my fears. The new, gentler 1970’s seemed to have stricter rules in place for tv. I guess that might have been fine for some Disney ‘toon or Strawberry shortcake or whatever the hell else was on for kids but for the Superfriends, the new rules were ridiculous. I guess “the world’s four greatest heroes” –and Robin, Wendy, Marvin and Wonderdog– just hung around the Hall of Justice each day waiting for the Trouble Alert or whatever they called the warning system then some politician, scientist or general would come whining for help. Supes of course would fly off to the scene of the disaster, Wonder Woman would zoom off in her invisible jet, Aquaman would mount a dolphin and Batman would wait for the whole family to hop in the Batmobile. Because you wouldn’t want to head off on the mission without the dog in the cape. 

Side note: there’s a school of thought in comics that you need a stupid kid sidekick so the kids will identify with them, relate to them. That’s true IF you make the kid sidekick a truly capable, cool, ass kicking asset to the partnership. If said sidekick is an incompetent joke that always needs saving, I think kids will tell you they hate the sidekick, that the sidekick should just die already, so the cool hero isn’t always held back by the stupid kid. Kids don’t WANT to identify with lame sidekicks. And if you add two more who are even more annoying, less capable, and throw in a scaredy cat dog with a cape, you deserve whatever you get.

But what ho, Rick… if the show was so bad, why did you watch it?

Oh, that is a great question. Here’s the answer. Ready?

BECAUSE IT WAS THE 1970’S, IT WAS SATURDAY MORNING, WE ONLY HAD THREE TV CHANNELS AND NEITHER CABLE, THE INTERNET OR VIDEO GAMES EXISTED YET.

Satisfied? Good. 

(Also, it should be noted that being only 11, it would be years before I was surreptitiously searching out remote tribal porn within issues of National Geographic in the library)

Anyway, all superhero fans were left with was this and only this on Saturday morning tv. There was only so much of the Sid and Marty Kroft acid trip shows like HR Puffinstuff I could take. They eventually got rid of Wendy, Marvin and the dog and did a slight upgrade to the Wonder Twins, Zan and Jayna, who, thanks to a sibling fist bump, could transform into animals and ice/water products respectively. “Shape of..a goat!” “Form of … a puddle!” And that was helpful, I guess. They also had a blue space monkey named Gleek. 

A few years passed, and now it was the late ’70’s. I watched it less, went to the library more, read comics more, finally got PONG. But they did eventually add more heroes to the mix, like the Flash, Green Lantern and Hawkman (that’s more like it). The producers also wanted to add a bit of diversity to the extremely White cast of heroes, so they set about grabbing some of DC’s heroes of color. 

Oops. 

DC wasn’t really packin’ a lot of diversity at the time. 

Taking a quick inventory, I think DC had:

*Black Lightning –the title kinda says it all, but he was a C-lister.

*Teen Titan Mal Duncan, the Hornblower –I don’t really remember much about him, but he was a C-lister that may have already retired. I don’t remember what the horn did. Not sure anyone did. So, no go.

*Bumblebee, another Teen Titan, C-lister, maybe quit the biz to be with Mal. No go.

*Jon Stewart Green Lantern. This was unfortunate on a couple levels. First, he was usual portrayed as a bitter, angry black man when he premiered years earlier. Second, he was designated as the “alternate back up” GL, behind Hal Jordan and then Guy Gardner. Third, they already brought Hal’s GL into the show. So no luck there.

SO, Black Lightning was a good possibility BUT DC, cheap bastards that they were, didn’t want to pay BL creator Tony Isabella residuals or for using Black Lightning in the show. So they created the knock off Black Vulcan. To this day, Tony is very loud about what he thinks of DC.

Yeah.

Then, after seeing DC had no Asian heroes available, the producers created Samurai, an Asian guy who dressed up more like a genie but had wind manipulation powers (think Red Tornado), invisibility, fire manipulation and could cast illusions! It was a crazy set of very impressive powers but you can see how well they parlayed the character into legendary greatness because surely everyone remembers… Samurai!

Also, no Native American superheroes to be found at DC, so in came Apache Chief, who could grow to giant size, which was pretty cool. 

Finally, added even later, representing Mexico, was El Dorado. *This* guy had super strength, telepathy and teleportation. Geez, this guy sounded impressive too, but I think maybe I’d stopped watching by this point or just no longer paid attention. Frankly, looking back at the description, all four of these sounded more interesting than the regular line up but don’t worry– as written, these new heroes were just as bland and uninteresting as everyone else. Imagine if any of the creators of this show actually gave a damn or made an effort to write the characters in an interesting manner? Nah, kids aren’t worth it, right?

The show, in its different incarnations and titles, like Challenge of the Superfriends, The Legendary Superpowers Show, Galactic Guardians, etc. went until 1985 but I was long gone. It would be the following century before we got a cartoon worthy of the Justice League when wunderkind Bruce Timm did the honors but I’ve got a separate blog on that.

Ah, the ’70’s. Three channels. Good times, I guess. If the library was open. 

26 years ago, Theresa Renee Lundeen slid into the world, possibly because she thought there was a party out here. I understood her confusion. Being first time parents, we were trying to go for a mood and were playing Bob Marley in the birthing room. 

She resembled Tweety Bird for quite some time when she was little. She’s turned napping into an art form and if it could be a vocation, she’d make it happen. I’d say she no longer hoards stuff but I haven’t been to her apartment in many months. (She comes here)

*At a very early age, she was hanging with our friends, much more mature than her actual years. 

*She’s excellent at planning, organizing, getting things done.

*She skillfully shifted her major at SCAD from illustration (can be dicey getting a job), to User Experience (an incredibly in demand vocation regarding making it easier to navigate websites). 

*She’s a very good designer.

*Is learning Swedish.

*Was gainfully employed within two months of graduation.

*Has successfully maintained an 8 year relationship, even though five years were long distance.

*She has an interesting mix of Lin’s and my sense of humor.

*She’s a considerate and thoughtful person.

What more could I ask for? Lin and I are both very proud of her. 

Happy birthday, hon.

Do you ever let your toenails get away from you? I swear to god, I clipped the damn things like two weeks ago and I already feel capable of scrambling up a tree with my nuts. Perhaps the squirrel analogy shouldn’t be applied here. 

My wife is fond of reminding me that I once wore a hole in our sheets just by the motion of my feet moving back and forth in bed. One night my foot got caught in the hole I created. 

I felt the pointed nail of shame.

Some say it’s best to cut those toe nails right out of the shower. I disagree. Sure, the nails are soft but good lord, they’re *too* easy to cut at that point. I snipped a tiny part of my little toe off a couple times. That helps no one.

Bu what ho, you say…what does this have to do with the coronavirus?

Nothing. Why do you ask?

So anyway, yes, I clip well away from shower time. Just me and the clippers, folding my tree trunk-like body, attempting to get the littlest toe in a stranglehold that’s twisted it into a position close enough to see what I’m working with. It’s also vital, after clipping the littlest toe to make sure I don’t leave any kind of stupid point to the nail in the middle. Because later that night in bed, there will come a moment when the nail is dragged across the sheet and there’ll be the tiniest *sound* of threads being ripped asunder and that will not stand. And I really don’t want to have to get out of bed, get down on the floor, and start pretzeling myself into the clipping position just to clip the teeny tiny little toe point.

As I was saying, I start at the little toe because it’s the hardest one to wrestle into submission, the smallest, the one most fraught with danger of bloody snipping and of course, it’s the farthest away. After those little bastards, the operation gets easier. Finally, I’m at peace for awhile. But it really seems like almost no time passes and here we go again. That’s one of the many problems with as you get older, time passes more and more quickly the older you get. Suddenly, you’re always hunched over your toes, clipping away. 

I’ll have to do this tomorrow. I swear to god, I feel like they’re so long right now, they’re starting to curl over like Howard Hughes. Time to clip this in the bud before I’m forced to wear Kleenex boxes on my feet!

Hope the sheets hold out. 

Today, the sun’s bosom was heavy with Kamiaru.

People walked the land, distancing. Their steps light with Kamiaru.

And when they came within earshot of another, they voiced “Kamiaru!”

And the other voiced back “Kamiaru!”

“Jinx!” they both screamed, and they laughed and laughed and … Kamiaru.

Far away, in another place, someone held back. They did not feel Kamiaru.

But do not worry, Kamiaru is different to all yet all are of the Kamiaru.

Little Jimmy is deep in it and Lally Sue is simply slathered in Kamiaru.

Kamiaru is light and joy. It is the reflection in your counter and sits atop your tree.

It’s in the corner of your eye and slightly behind your soul.

It is the mixture of all color and the absence of light.

And when things look their darkest and you need the heavens to open up,

to shower light, split the sea and crack wide the earth,

You may shout Kamiaru!   Kamiaru!  Kamiaru!

And when the dust settles, all is calm, and you’ve smited the unyielding,

You might turn to another, some six feet away, and ask…

“Are You of The Kamiaru?”

If that happens, don’t panic, just remember– Kamiaru is just what comes out when you’re trying to type “January” and your right hand is lined up over the keyboard one letter off to the right. Try it! 

Thank you. 

Hey, more about me!

I’m not sure what category of homunculus I am — but I’ve got weird skin. I don’t get any kind of nasty psoriasis or anything like that but here’s the thing: technically, I’m allergic to my own sweat. When I was little, I was allergic to a TON of stuff. Tomatoes in any form, chocolate, SO many things outside (thus my aversion to nature), I *think* certain types of milk as well, can’t remember. But there was a stretch where I had to go see the allergy doctor every week forever. I seem to remember being the only kid in school who never got inoculated against Measles, Mumps, Chicken Pox, etc. precisely because of my severe allergies. I do remember the kids in line in class for the injections, none too happy about it, while I sat there unaffected and somewhat happy I wasn’t getting stuck with that bizarre device. I don’t know much more than that and I’m sure my mother no longer remembers. I *think* I’d been vaccinated since then, don’t know. But then again, I’ve never HAD Measles, Mumps or Chicken Pox, and I certainly don’t want them now. But, back to the whole skin bit.

I’ve mostly grown out of the sweat allergy thing, but in regards to my unusual skin quality, I think it’s all part of heat being my Kryptonite, as I’m a profuse sweater. I sweat a lot and don’t react well to it. It certainly doesn’t help when the weight is up either. I’m a human blast furnace, always giving off heat in immense waves. Why do you think I wear shorts all the time? Why do you think *my* regular body temperature is 97.6? Gotta keep me cool. Always expelling that heat.

And then there’s what happens when I’m submerged in water for long periods of time. Let’s say I’m in a pool for 20 minutes. Once I get out, I can’t put shoes on and I have to be careful, because if I scrape against anything, the skin just comes right off. If I try to slip on a tennis shoe, using my finger as a makeshift shoehorn? Lose the skin on the heel, finger, whatever gets the friction. Is it the fact that my body continually throws off heat through my skin and putting me in water is kinda like boiling a chicken and the skin comes off too easily, or maybe it’s like ribs when the meat just falls off the bone? I don’t know, I don’t like ribs. 

It’s all very bizarre. 

Then there’s the “Hobbit Patch”. A small stretch of skin beneath my elbow that inexplicably grows a heavy patch of hair. For all intents and purposes, you’d think I had a subcutaneous troll doll hidden away within my forearm. 

And I don’t dare shave it as it’ll grow back thicker and darker than ever before…. 

That’s the fear.

Am I sharing too much? Well, the good news is, I don’t think things will get any more intimate than this, if it’ll make you feel any better. But as I write this, we are still in lockdown and I’ve still got over 7 months of daily blogs that I am determined to see completed. There is the fear that I’ll run out of things to say, experiences to share, true tales to relate, goofy stories to create, etc. 

But so far, so good.

You lucky, lucky people.

This’ll be a primer for any aspiring Doctor Who fan who wants to get a quality look at some past incarnations of the Doctor.

William Hartnell’s Doctor was an imperious, tetchy old man who gave as good as he got. And started a legend.

*Note: the first Doctor era mainly focuses alien planets/threats and purely Earth-historical adventures.

There are a number of really well done stories from the first Doctor era, starting with 1) An Unearthly Child, the very first DW story. Shown in four parts, AUC introduces us to teachers Ian Chesterton and Barbara Wright (teaching science and history, respectively), their unusual student, Susan “Foreman”, and her mysterious grandfather, known as the Doctor in 1963 London. We see the adventure mostly through Ian and Barbara’s eyes as they discover that Susan and her grandfather are living in a police box set inside a junkyard. But the police box in reality contains a different, much larger dimension inside it and can travel through space and time. They take an inadvertent trip back to prehistoric times and danger. This story is a wonderful way to meet and experience these new characters and sets the table going forward.

2)The next recommendation would have to be the second story, a seven parter, referred to as either The Dead Planet or The Daleks. Yes, the first story to feature an alien planet, also introduces us to the Doctors biggest, most ruthless, hateful enemies. This is another good story where we learn more about our protagonists. But also about the metal tyrants. The story also introduces the Thals, the other indigenous race of the planet who would defy the Daleks.

3)The fourth adventure would surely be on the list if not for it being missing– part of many stories that were wiped from the BBC archive in the ’70’s. The seven part Marco Polo is still worth listening to, as the soundtrack is available, complete with linking narration. A fantastic journey featuring the Tardis crew traveling through ancient Cathay with Polo in his caravan.

4)Next would be the Aztecs, another purely historical adventure that lands the crew in 12th century Mexico, Barbara is mistaken for an Aztec goddess and the crew, separated from the Tardis, must insinuate themselves into the culture, while trying to find a way to escape. All the while, being careful not to get on the wrong side of the powers that be, for the Aztecs are no stranger to human sacrifice. This excellently written, performed, directed and designed four parter might actually be my favorite of the Hartnell era. 

5)Going to the second season, the three part Planet of Giants is an interesting adventure, as by some cosmic mishap, the Tardis and crew are shrunk down to approx. 1 inch tall on present day earth and have to survive the predicament they find themselves in, stopping a rogue scientist from unleashing a deadly gas. The biggest treat is the marvelous selection of oversized props the actors have to work with. 

6)The Dalek Invasion of earth takes place in 2150 and the six part story features the second confrontation between the Doctor and the Daleks on an Earth that’s already been conquered by the metal maniacs. Loaded with action and intrigue.

7)The Romans is a four part pure historical that is a very well done adventure but also a comedic romp at times. Highly recommended.

8)To end the second season, The Time Meddler, the four part historical set in 1066, that introduces us to the Monk, one of the Doctor’s own people, but indeed a meddler, who sets out to mess up history for his own amusement.

9)From the third season, the single part story, Mission to the Unknown, a prologue to a bigger adventure that would premiere *after* the four part story, The Myth Makers. A tale of the taking of Troy, that’s very much in the action oriented/comedic romp style of the Romans. Available in audio only but well worth a listen. 

10)The previously mentioned big adventure is The Dalek Master Plan, a massive, 12 part epic that spans epochs and galaxies and the stakes don’t get much bigger. Most of the video adventure is missing but listening to the soundtrack with linking narration is well worth your time, letting your imagination paint a picture. The stakes had never been bigger than in the DMP, as the enemies of earth’s solar system, along with the Daleks, seek out The Time Destructor, the deadliest device in the universe. 

So if you want a good representation of the first Doctor’s era, here stories are a very good place to start. 

Honorable mention: The Tenth Planet, which, while not one of the best of the Hartnell era, it is worth watching this four parter for a couple reasons. 1) it’s the first appearance of the Cybermen, a humanoid race that, in the name of improving themselves and eliminating sickness, eventually replaced almost all their organic parts for machines, becoming, emotionless cyborgs. 2) It is the second story of the fourth season and Hartnell’s last adventure, as at the end, he collapses and we witness his very first regeneration. 

Sherwood Schwartz was an old tv producer and —I was going to say “a certifiable genius.” But then I checked his IMBD page. I thought for sure he manufactured a TON  of hit tv shows in the ’60’s. He did not. He produced two. “Gilligan s island” and “the Brady Bunch”. He had produced other shows like “I Married Joan” but those didn’t last. Really, Gilligans’ Island only lasted three seasons but it was a huge hit! It would have kept *going* for who knows how long but get this– CBS needed room in the schedule for Gunsmoke, an even bigger hit, so GI and another half hour show following it got the axe just to make room for the venerable western. Because back then there were only three channels on tv. 

Gilligan’s Island was a tale of fateful trip that started from a tropic port, aboard a tiny ship, for a three hour tour. A THREE HOUR TOUR. (Cue lightning, thunder) The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost. Did you hear me? THE MINNOW WOULD BE LOST! The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle and they were pretty much screwed.

A sailor, his first mate, a rich couple, movie star, professor and a farm girl end up marooned on an island that’s harder to find than the one Tom Hanks got stuck on. What followed was a wacky dumbness sitcom that got HUGE ratings and even after it’s untimely demise for the sake of Matt Dillon and Miss Kitty, Schwartz managed to squeeze several specials and some animated series out of the formula. It was all incredibly lame and stupid and I guess still got the numbers. But none of that is the point. The thing IS….

What a crazy ass show Gilligan’s island was. These dramatically contrasting archetypes plopped down on an island. My mind has always *boggled* at the circumstances presented. Both in how these characters might have reacted to their fate in real life, and if the show were to be reimagined today in some form, what would it look like. Imagine what version might appear on HBO or AMC these days?

Just the sociological aspect of it. One wonders if this was the catalyst for the show Survivor. Probably not but this was that, only 35 years earlier than the reality tv juggernaut in the form of sitcom complete with a laugh track. The Skipper, no nonsense, big man, a seaman in his 40’s. A leader, a captain. Gilligan, his first mate. Early 20’s. Kind hearted but incompetent, and socially inept. Ginger, the movie star. Alluring bombshell in her 20’s or 30’s, used to attention and the limelight, using sex to get her way at every step. The Howells, Thurston and Lovey, late 50’s, rich, pampered, more money than god, helpless without servants, think they can buy their way out of everything. Mary Ann, 20’s, sweet, nubile, innocent farm girl. The Professor, 30’s, brilliant man of science, can solve any problem, except getting them off the island. 

The show being reimagined by any number of writers and directors for a present day series could go wildly in any direction. These specific characters could have been manipulated into taking the cruise on a sabotaged boat, intentionally landing them on the island where their every movement is captured and studied by a host of scientists, behaviorists, you name it. LOST meets the Truman Show. 

Dial up the dark conspiracy angle. Crank up the Lord of the Flies mentality. How long does the veneer of civilization last? At some point after Howell tries to throw his weight around, Skipper might just inform Howell of what the new facts of life are on “Skipper’s Island”. Depending on how alpha male the Skipper gets, anything can happen. Ginger and the Howells could be helpless basket cases, while the others start building a civilization. Gilligan could also go in any direction. He might step up and be a mighty rock. Might stage a mutiny and kill his commanding officer. Might hide up in the trees and watch the girls undress. Anything’s possible. Lots of possibilities and really, with the plethora of old shows being regurgitated these days, I’m kind of surprised it hasn’t happened yet. But if it does, I don’t think it’ll be a comedy.

I watched an old documentary on the show not long ago, where they talked about the behind the scenes stuff. At the time, they also had interviews with the surviving cast members, Bob Denver (Gilligan), Russell Johnson (Professor), Dawn Wells (Mary Ann) and Tina Louise (Ginger). For the most part, it seemed like smooth sailing for just about everything behind the scenes cast wise, production wise, everything, except for Tina Louise. 

From all information presented, plus her own interview, she does not come off well at all. Even though the show was called Gilligan’s island and she got fourth billing, she was pissed off that the show wasn’t about her. She didn’t get along with anyone on the cast, she was always making moves on Denver but in a kind of mean way and Denver was really not into it. It was sort of described as sexual harassment. It was also a commonly accepted fact that she’d bring in guys during lunch hour and they’d literally be going at it long, hard and loud enough in her dressing room on stage for the entire crew to hear. All of which she freely admits because she loves life and she has very specific needs. She would also go on about how much she hated the show, even though it put her on the map. 

It’s also the most rerun tv show of all time, at least it was at the time of the doc. Sadly, as common during the era, the stars only got residual payments on reruns the first two cycles through. That’s it. The producers and writers got a piece of every ep ever since but not Gilligan or any of the rest. So, since some of them were typecast from the show and found other acting gigs hard to come by, when specials emerged such as “The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island”, they had little choice but to return to the island for the checks. Except for Tina Louise. She never returned for the specials. They replaced her with another redhead. They asked her to come back but she held up the proceedings calling Schwartz almost every day for two weeks saying she was coming back, no she wasn’t, yes she was, no, yes, no, yes and finally Schwartz decided no, she wasn’t. 

But for those completists out there, the show itself ran three seasons from ’64 to ’67. The first special was “Rescue from Gilligan’s island” in ’78 where they got rescued but have trouble assimilating back to regular life so they go back to the island. Then “The Castaways of Gilligan’s Island” in ’79, where they decide to build a resort on the island now that the world knew it was there. Then, the aforementioned Globetrotters came in in ’81 to help save the resort from a greedy millionaire. (Thurston?)

But the most bizarre adaption (to date) came in the last incarnation: “Gilligan’s Planet”, an animated series where, yes, the Professor builds a spaceship and the same characters take off and of course get marooned on an alien planet where space hilarity ensues. The entire cast came back to do the voices, except for Tina Louise (Wells did Ginger’s voice too.) The animated series was produced by Filmation studios, who’d been around for a while but had run into money trouble and had to change what projects they produced, otherwise, they probably would have done a couple more animated seasons. Once again, bad luck for the castaways. 

It may seem like I’m a huge fan of the show but I am not. I’m more interested in the machinations behind the scenes, the sociological factors and the loopiness of Hollywood TV in general in the 1960’s. The decade with the craziest, most imaginative, experimental, colorful and daring assortment of tv shows in history. 

If you haven’t seen Avengers Endgame yet, I have no sympathy for you and will freely spoil it now. During the early moments of the epic, climactic battle between Cap, Thor, Iron man and Thanos, Captain America comes to wield Mojlnir (Thor’s hammer) and it is said that in reality, the cosmos shifted slightly that day, as millions of fans screamed with a joy hitherto unseen before in the history of superhero cinema.  

I think we secretly *hoped* it would happen in the movies and it got a slight nod in Avengers: Age of Ultron, when, during some downtime after a party, everyone took a shot at lifting the hammer. It moved the tiniest fraction when Steve attempted it, just enough for Thor to be slightly uncomfortable. We *thought* that might have been the only nod but when we suddenly had Stormbreaker *and* Mojlnir in play during Endgame, the notion was in the back of our minds again. And yes, I was amongst those who very nearly spontaneously combusted when the hammer flew into Cap’s hand. 

***Side note: when you see a superhero movie and it just doesn’t do it for you, someone is always quick to suggest that “oh, maybe you’re just getting tired of superhero movies.” They would be wrong. Some are just better than others. Several moments in Infinity War and Endgame got the exact same rise out of me that parts of Superman the movie, Superman II, Batman ’89, Avengers, Winter Soldier and Civil War did. Quality brings out the inner child. My kids can attest to how I turned into a 12 year old again when we saw Thanos in the mid credit sequence of Avengers. I was shaking. I think I hid it well by calmly stating “Glurg–nfffh.”

And now, back to the regularly scheduled blog…where..? Ah yes, Cap, Mojlnir…

We comic fans had seen it once before, in 1988’s Thor issue #390 and, at the time, it was every bit as mind blowing as it was in the theater. Back then, Cap’s situation had changed. He had a falling out with the government and gave up the Captain America identity, costume and shield. He reinvented himself as The Captain and wore a similar black version of his costume with a generic adamantium shield provided by Tony Stark. But in Tony’s own book, he was bending the rules, attacking various people to take back his tech and in doing so, ran afoul of Steve, so they were on the outs.

The comic shows us Steve visiting the Avengers on their floating Hydrobase when Thor returns to the team. Steve no longer being Captain America, his relating the story of being at odds with not only the government, but Tony as well, made the Thunder God unsure of whether he should trust Rogers. Thor was unsure whether he was still the same salt of the earth guy he’d been previously. At this point, Grog the God-Crusher, a powerful agent of the evil Egyptian God Seth, attacks Hydrobase with his armored minions to destroy Thor. Because Grog IS the God-Crusher after all.

During the battle, Thor is separated from Mojlnir and is getting overwhelmed by Grog and his forces. Steve makes his way to the hammer, trying to think of some way to get it to Thor. He knows that far more powerful people than him have tried to lift it and failed but he was adamant that he help Thor. It’s at this point that Grog’s minions dog-pile on Steve and bury him. But they can’t seem to keep him down.

Suddenly, the greatest soldier, the greatest fighter on the planet has the most powerful weapon in the nine realms. Swinging Mojlnir like a pro, he scatters the minions and then tosses it to Thor, who wraps up Grog and his goons. If there was any doubt in Thor’s mind–or the fans— about Steve still being worthy, it was gone now. 

This was a huge moment in the history of a Marvel comics. The enchantment Odin imbued Mojlnir with dictated that only those who are worthy could lift the hammer and up until that point, I don’t believe any other human had ever hefted it, so Steve Rogers doing it in dramatic fashion was shocking and I was simply lucky enough to still be reading the series when it happened. 

Tom DeFalco did the writing honors and it was Ron Frenz and Brett Breeding who provided the excellent art. Frenz, at this point in his career had a very interesting blend of influences, mixing the power of Jack Kirby with some of the style of Sal Buscema into his positions. It was a very nice mixture of powerful, dynamic storytelling. 

The story added a new dimension to Steve Rogers, some 25 years after he returned to comics and the Avengers. Thirty years after that, the Russo Bros. went and did it again. 

I… I have got to watch Infinity War and Endgame again.

Because the thing IS.

I was milling around in the bathroom and smelled something. I couldn’t identify it though. Linda had been cleaning up there, so it could have been anything.

Trying to analyze the smell, I wondered if it was toast I smelled. THEN, what I like to call “the show” starts grinding away in my head, as my thoughts would start to wander, make connections, stream of consciousness, etc., etc. 

Then I tried to recall what you smell right before you have a stroke.

Was it toast? Because if so, that’s a bit loose then because every time someone makes toast, and you’re in another part of the house, smelling the toast, and holy shit! 

What if you’re a chef? You’re probably ALWAYS smelling toast!

It couldn’t be THAT common of a smell being such a warning sign. Right?

Have no fear, I wasn’t having a stroke or anything — that would be a much different blog, and probably not typed, sadly, and only dictated with difficulty. 

No, of course I had to look it up. That’s always dicey, but I had a minute. 

Turns out it’s *burnt toast*. And it could mean you have a brain tumor OR are having a stroke. OR, you might have Phantosmia, a condition where you smell things that aren’t there. 

That knowledge could come in handy next time someone accuses you of farting. 

You can respond “Oh, You’re obviously suffering from Phantosmia. Freak!” Whether you farted or not.

Let’s also not forget that simply smelling anything is a good sign. I’ve heard from various sources, *none confirmed*, that if you can’t smell or taste anything, that you may be in the early stages of becoming symptomatic with COVID-19. 

I have no idea if that’s remotely true or not.

My daughter noted that her sense of smell increased recently after burning her hand with hot water due to a microwaveable Mac & cheese incident.

A heightened sense of smell is not exactly that formidable a super power and really only a fifth of what Daredevil can do, but if she wants to be known as The Sniffer, I support her in her new life. 

And it would also possibly mean she’s not stricken with the virus. Double bonus there. Unless that’s nonsense.

So the moral of the story would be…careful when microwaving Mac & cheese? 

Don’t burn toast? 

Maybe stop and smell the flowers, and don’t cross….

The Sniffer.

So I was watching a rerun of 30 Rock the other day and there were a number of horse paintings in the background of certain scenes. So of course I made the logical connection:

Imagine a guy who could turn any part of his body into the corresponding body part of a horse. 

His head into a horse head. Legs into horse legs, hands into hooves, you get the idea. He could go ALL horse, just a body part, go Centaur, you name it. That’s as far as I got.

So let’s play out the possibilities right here, right now in the blog–

*Would I go comedy or drama with this? I think comedy would seep in and undercut the various bizarre notes if I went serious, so maybe think comedy with some occasional dramatic undertones. 

*He’d be a scientist fiddling with genetic improvements, trying to increase muscle mass, strengthen the human body to better weather the effects of weightlessness in outer space. 

*He unfortunately screwed up and added too much horse DNA to the mix, and when he tested it on himself–naughty scientist–he found he could transform himself.

*His test actually worked to an extent, as his natural strength is triple what it was, if he concentrates. When he transforms say, his leg into a horse leg, he can deliver a devastating kick that can smash through a wall or seriously injure a bad guy.

*He often wears a tux as he’s always at fund raisers and high society gatherings. When he transforms though, his clothes easily accommodate the shape change because he treats them with “Flexecules”, a substance which allows the molecules of his clothes to alter themselves right along with him. 

*His name is Dr. Chuck Terrain

*He has a long time girlfriend, Cassandra Elegante.

*Maybe someday, she’ll become Lady Horse.

*When he has a horse head, he retains his intelligence but his personality does alter slightly and he’s a bit saltier and refers to everyone as “Wilber”.