So senior year at Alan B. Shepard high school, we had the pretty amazing opportunity  to go to Hawaii for our senior trip. In a surprising move, I opted to go. With the cool kids, even though I wasn’t one of them. To their credit though, they were not only the cool kids via popularity but they were pretty cool in general, to me anyway and it made for a nice trip. Remarkably, all the assholes stayed at home! We had the prerequisite parental chaperones, who were also very cool and laid back. The trip cost $1,000 and I’m not sure if I paid for it or my mom did but I got the green light. 

Full disclosure, I went on the trip because I had a crush on a girl who was way over my pay grade. She may or may not have known but was always exceedingly nice to me either way. It was on the trip that I found out that a different girl was interested in me. But for whatever bizarre, frustratingly awkward reason, I suck at making a move. Terrified at rejection? Abandonment issues? Just plain old, socially awkward incompetence? The list of women in my life that I’ve had relationships with before settling down and getting married would be easily twice as long if I ever actually would initiate. Not that the list was that long to begin with. But I digress! There was no great romance on this trip. I did end up kissing several hundred women but we’ll get to that in a subsequent post.

The *other* full disclosure is that even though drinking age in Illinois was 21, it was 18 in Hawaii. And even though I was only 17, I was able to manufacture a very presentable fake I.D.. I can give details as I’m sure the statute of limitations has run out after 40 years. I’m also fairly sure that my method would probably not work today, with heightened security around the world. I hope not anyway. 1) I went to a K-mart and picked up several registration forms for a Firearm Owners Identification card. On the form was a blank mock up of what the card would look like, the empty square for your ID pic, the official FOI markings and symbols, line for DOB and a signature line. 2) I found the most respectable, professional picture I could find of myself that would look like an acceptable ID photo for an 18 year old and trimmed it down to fit the photo square exactly. Ran the sheet through a typewriter (look it up, kids) to add pertinent info like the date of birth, then signed it. I had grabbed several forms just in case I screwed up. 3) Cut out the filled in card section from the sheet, carefully glued my photo in place. 4) Then took it to be double laminated, making for a sturdier looking and feeling ID card. Then carefully trimmed the sharp edges, rounding them off in a professional manner. I’ve got to say that I’ve always sucked at these arts and crafts things but I performed quite well in this instance. 

Thus, the day came and we were off in a jumbo 747, the biggest plane I’d ever seen up until then. Something like three seats, then another six in the middle then another three on the side. Two interesting bits here. One, it was going to be a 12 hour trip, but we’d be gaining 5 hours due to the time change, so all of our internal clocks were basically going to be screwed soon. Two, as soon as we got up in the air, evidently, Hawaiian drinking age rules applied. Interesting. 

In the coming installments, I’ll cover the Kissing Line, the Moped Incident, the Island Hopping Incident, the Jeep Incident and the Blue Hawaiian. A helluva drink.

It’s really a good thing I’m getting everything out there in the blog this year. There will come a point, I’m sure, where the details will fade.

Until next time!

Sometimes, you come across an amazing achievement. I’ve been a Star Trek since the ’60’s and enjoyed the latter day spinoffs to varying degrees but there is a charm and brilliance about The Original Series which has been tough to match. The writing, the characters, the acting set a certain benchmark in sci-fi television. And it created a legion of die hard fans. Such devoted fans in fact, that 40 and 50 years after the fact, there have been some groups that have gone to pain staking lengths to recreate every small detail of the show. 

Until now, I knew of only one production that had rebuilt *all* the original sets from TOS and actually produced their own version of the show, dressing up and playing the parts of Kirk, Spock, McCoy and the rest. They did a good job and are to be commended for their dedication, but they ended production about 5 or 6 years ago. This was the “New Voyages” production. Again, they did a great job but didn’t *quite* get there. 

The show I’m talking about today DID get there. Star Trek Continues is, in a word, amazing. I’m going to compliment them now in a couple of shocking ways and I’m not exaggerating a bit. First statement: these actors and this production is of a higher quality and better performed by this cast than the JJ Abrams films. Abrams’ films were a mish mash of lens flares, bad impersonations, “reimaginings”, and warping of old stories. I’m sure his heart was in the right place but he’s first and foremost a Star Wars fan. He knew nothing about Trek and it showed. Turns out, his take on Star Wars wasn’t stellar either but I digress. *Star Trek Continues is a Superior Product*. 

Second statement: this show’s goal was to basically show how the Enterprise’s five year mission came to an end and it succeeds. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve earned the right to have their season put on the shelf right next to the three seasons of TOS. That’s how good a job they’ve done. Now, a bit about each of the vital parts that *make* it work so well.

It all starts with Vic Mignogna, who plays James T. Kirk. This guy is a huge fan of Trek from way back and, while not a dead ringer for Shatner, he has a similar body type, the right “look” and pulls off a very convincing Shatner. Not a cartoony Shatner, no. It’s obvious Mignogna and the rest of the cast have too much respect for Roddenberry’s dream to not take it seriously. He does a very good Captain Kirk. A good Shatner. I *think* that in addition to writing and directing some of the eps, Mignogna might also be the main or one of the producers. I haven’t dug into the behind the scenes stuff yet. 

Todd Haberkorn plays Spock, and seriously, I’ve seen people try and play Spock in the past, both professionally and fan based and somehow, Haberkorn manages to inhabit Spock, and yet make it his own. I’d argue that portraying Spock, while honoring the spirit imbued in him by Nimoy is maybe the toughest challenge of any of these characters. He sells it and he nails it. Finally, an actor who is a worthy successor to Leonard Nimoy. Sorry, Quinto. Folks, I’m telling you now– I get swept up in these stories and I’m not seeing a fan recreation. I’m seeing new adventures featuring the characters I know and love. 

This was obviously a side project for these folks so that might be why producing the 11 episodes took about six years, roughly from 2013 through about 2017. So there were a couple things changed here and there, such as two actors playing McCoy. Larry Nemecek portrayed the good doctor in the first couple eps and Chuck Huber carried out the part for the remainder. They both do a serviceable job in the role, although since I’ve only seen six of the eleven eps so far, there may be a more McCoy-centric episode I haven’t seen yet. 

Montgomery Scott is played by none other than Chris Doohan, James Doohan’s son. And he can do the Scottish accent just as well as his dad. He’s an excellent addition to the cast.

Grant Imahara, Kim Stinger and Wyatt Lenhart round out the cast as Sulu, Uhura and Chekov and also do a respectable job representing the characters. As with TOS, they still get secondary status but I would argue they get a tiny bit more attention here.  

Then there’s the character of the Enterprise itself. All the outer space stuff is perfectly done. The SFX are cutting edge, yet tailor made to blend in with the ’60’s sensibilities BUT with a proper, remastered upgrade like TOS got on DVD and blu-ray. And the interiors are simply perfect. Every detail is spot on, from the bridge, with every light, button and sound effect, through the specific quarters of Kirk, Spock, sick bay, engineering, the hanger bay, right down to the corridors, turbo lifts and Jeffrey tubes. You may as well have just gone back in time. 

The music, the lighting, the camera positioning and directing are all immaculate recreations of the standards and practices of the original show. 

And the writing is not only top notch but the practice the old show had of taking societal issues and mirroring them in the scripts is in fact mirrored here. Another wonderful and we’ll done homage. 

Then there are the guest stars who further legitimize the experience. Marina Sirtis (Counselor Troi in TNG) does the voice of the computer in this universe. Michael Dorn (Worf) does the voice in the Mirror universe. Michael Forrest, who played Apollo in TOS, John DeLancie (Q), Erin Grey (Buck Rogers), Lou Ferrigno (Incredible Hulk), Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant (Doctor Who) and Cas Anvar (the Expanse) all play parts and I’m skimming the surface here, as I’ve only seen half the eps. 

What else can I say about this? If you loved the original series, I think it’s worth it to watch Star Trek Continues. It gets a standing O from me. 

I’m neither rich, famous or well known. So, if I desperately wanted to get a comic produced that I did, I’d have a few choices. 

1. Organize production myself, work with Diamond distributors and a print, plus digital storefronts. I’ve done this a lot in the past.
2. Contact an existing comic company, publicize and print your book through them. You share profits but they handle the printing and some of the advertising. I did this with Mickey & Maj. 
3. Go through a Print On Demand service that handles comic books and try and publicize that. Did that with 100 Covers
4. Start a Kickstarter campaign or some other crowdfunding site. These types of sites often help out those who don’t have the resources to do or try anything else. Or those who don’t want to make the effort trying the other ways.

The key point there here is “resources”. Going the crowdfunding route was really helpful if you had little or no resources. It seems things have changed. 

In recent years, more and more, I’m noticing that a lot more people with resources are taking advantage of crowdfunding–and I’m not just talking about in the comic book world. When it comes to resources, money’s a good one. Fame is another. You would *think* that someone with fame and money wouldn’t need to ask for hand outs from the crowd to fund their project. I’ll site two examples with some hypothesizing thrown in regarding possibly extenuating circumstances.

Example One: veteran artist/writer Jim Starlin is involved in a crowdfunding venture with Ominous press to produce a new Dreadstar graphic novel–a character Starlin created decades ago and was pretty popular, I believe. Jim Starlin is also the guy who created Thanos. Anyone familiar with the Marvel movies knows this character. Starlin even appeared in Endgame as one of the members of a support group at the beginning. 

So, Starlin is a BIG name in comics, created Thanos, and many other Marvel characters. So he has fame, status and prestige. One would assume he also has money. But the above accomplishments don’t necessarily make him well off. Being a freelance illustrator, we can never assume this, as health insurance and any number of other circumstances may factor in. Years ago, due to an injury to his hand, Starlin feared he may never draw again but after therapy, he’s back at it. Ominous press is the company who’s running the campaign. Do they have no resources or is this just Starlin’s personal corporation? I don’t know. 

But is Starlin in a much better position, with greater odds on benefitting from crowdfunding than the low level, no name creator who’s desperately trying to rub two nickels together. Yes. Again, maybe Starlin and Ominous Press both are in dire financial need and are forced to go this route. Maybe.

Example Two: Todd McFarlane is a former comic artist that created Spawn back in the early ’90’s. Spawn was immensely popular and after McFarlane left comics shortly thereafter, he went into producing action figures, featuring sports figures, and comic characters including a Spawn figure. 

In fact, he has an entire production facility at his disposal for creating state of the art action figures. His company has made hundreds, maybe thousands of them and recently even got the license to produce a bunch of DC characters in high end action figure form.

In addition all the licensed product he has, the monthly Spawn comic still gets published (albeit by other creators for the past 25 odd years) and there’s a brand new Spawn film in the works, the first in over 20 years. He’s very much large, in charge, and in the public eye.

So yes, Todd’s done *quite* well for himself over the past 30 years and is reportedly worth around 300 million dollars.

But hey, Todd decided that he –or the people who work for him–are going to “remaster” the old Spawn figure, maybe do some remodeling, extra features and extra heads. And that you’re going to fund the whole enterprise. 

Yes, the guy who’s worth 300 million is crowdfunding the venture, asking for $100,000 as the goal.

Recently, when asked why he’s crowdfunding the project, considering his vast resources, Todd explained that this was “the best way to get it in front of the most eyeballs”. Todd hasn’t exactly remained hidden. A simple press release about a new Spawn figure would get him all the orders he could want. He also added that any critics of this don’t have to buy it. 

Now, I’ve never considered McFarlane to be a good artist, nor *any* type of writer but as far as business goes, he seems highly intelligent. He couldn’t have *entirely* lucked his way to 300 million. And then there’s the old axiom that when you’re trying to get some production off the ground, never spend your own money. And oh, the money from other people he’s now got to spend! The goal was $100,000, but at last look, it had already raised over 1.3 million. Thank god there’s a sucker born every minute, eh Todd?

Of course, there’s another factor here. Todd’s expenditures. He’s been known to spend money fast and loose in the past. He once spent 3 million dollars on a home run baseball because it broke the home run record. Unfortunately for Todd, the record was broken shortly thereafter and his baseball was suddenly a LOT less valuable. 

I don’t know, is it possible he lost his 300 mil and the toy factory? Seems implausible but you never know. Maybe he’s really destitute? If so, thank goodness his fans have handed him over million –so far. 

Side note: Another disturbing element to crowdfunding — the no shows and the scams. There have been campaigns where the money was spent and the product never materialized, even *years* later, with the creator offering only excuses. My son tells of a video game that’s been in production for the better part of a decade, they’ve name dropped big time voice artists, promised big things and raised millions. No idea when it’ll see the light of day. Just doing a Google search on Kickstarter campaigns will net you many stories about the many reasons why projects die, backers lose their money, and usually have little to no legal recourse

Other cases are blatant scams to begin with, but there are a lot of crowdfunding places all over, ready to take your $$$. Do your due diligence if you’re ever thinking about donating to one of these.

As for the abuse of the system, it seems widespread. In the end, I feel sorry for the small entrepreneurs who are trying to raise funds and get attention and can only look on, as people ignore them in favor of handing their cash to famous millionaires.  

This shouldn’t take long. This may have been late ’80’s or early ’90’s. Linda and I went snorkeling once. The thought was that you could paddle around just off the beach and I could reach down and touch the ground as I go, while I could see stuff underwater. I had my snorkel head gear, wetsuit, even had the big old fins on. I knew the mechanics of proceeding forth, with the kicking and the propelling. So off I went, slowly drifting in shallow water. Look at the pretty shells. It was soothing and nice. It was initially odd breathing through a mouth piece but I basically got used to it. I moved along, hands slowly taking turns touching or tapping the sand as I went. The sloping descent of the sand as the water got deeper was very subtle. Until it wasn’t. 

Suddenly, the sandy bottom dropped out from beneath my reaching hand. The drop may have only been six inches, maybe a foot or more but the second I couldn’t touch the ground, it felt as if I was suspended over a thousand foot chasm. My vision got dark, my heart was slamming against my chest and only then did I realize I didn’t know how to move backwards. But after a brief, Kramer-esque flail-a-bout, I righted myself… gathered myself… reminded myself that it’s just shallow water. I went back in for a bit, staying parallel to the beach *and more aware of my surroundings*.

Really, what the hell is wrong with me? Maybe we’ll come to a realization together during this year of posts. 

You ever have a situation where you’re committed to spending a few hours with people you really don’t know–and don’t *want* to know, for various reasons? I’ve had a few situations like that over the years. They’re not even your acquaintances, but someone else’s. You go, you do your time, you pretend you’re interested in someone’s arcane hobby or job or whatever. You laugh, you nod, you basically put on a performance. I’ve only had to do this a handful of times in the last 57 years, thank god.

I don’t know about you, but after a day of that, I’m tired. After one instance, that evening, I was racked with such utter exhaustion, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and cover it after me. It’s as if the fatigue within me had gained sentience and was actively working against me. I think it all goes to mental exhaustion. Physical exhaustion is one thing but mental exhaustion can be worse. Your mind can really wipe itself out when dealing with stuff. Tension, pressure, problems, health, money, you name it. It’s a thing.

There have been a couple days lately where I’ve gotten out of bed exhausted, as the days have blended together. 

Work wise, things have been busy, which is good, but there’s never any set schedule, Monday thru Friday, 9 to 5, etc., so that doesn’t distinguish the days. I might work through the weekend then have Monday thru Friday clear, and that messes up my internal clock a bit. Having the family home all the time, *really* puts things in Dimension Z.

But in case you find yourself waking up exhausted, with the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you’re developing a pain in the Atlas, remember—

You’re not alone. 

There are many of us putting our backs into it as well. Let’s spread that energy out a bit. We’re tougher than we think we are.

I think the planet’s put on weight.

I think I was five years old when I took my first airplane ride. We went to see my aunt Jean and her family. I say might have because I’m sure some details escaped my finely honed five year old mind. Jean, and her husband Danny, had a boy, Kirk, around my age and a girl, Lisa, a couple years younger. Kirk and I got along “okay”. I say that because I don’t know if the fighting started then, or on subsequent visits. There was fighting. Quite a bit of it. 

I never had a brother, so, during these every or every other year visits, Kirk was about the closest thing in those early years. Thus, I wasn’t sure I wanted a brother. Seemed like a lot of fighting. Whatever trouble we got into though, was mediated by Jean’s husband, Danny. He was an affable guy with a southern accent, and he was a big guy, too. In fact, if somebody got out of line, he wouldn’t have to do more than plunk you on the head with a finger, because they were like small Billy clubs. So any ruckus settled down pretty quickly. 

Kirk was all red hair, freckles and bad attitude. I usually didn’t know what was going on in his head but his chaos was at odds with my sense of order, so we got into dust ups a fair number of times. I usually won because even then, I was a fairly solid tree trunk of a kid and he wasn’t movin’ me when I didn’t want to be moved. But that didn’t stop him from trying. Looking back, I’m not sure where the bad attitude came from. Maybe it had to do with Kirk and Lisa both being adopted. Maybe he didn’t feel like he belonged? I don’t know. I can’t pretend to know what that felt like or what effect it has on a person. Perhaps he just couldn’t sit still. Don’t know. Sometimes, it was like wrestling with a freckled tornado, though. 

As we got older and into our early teens though, the fights leveled off a bit and we developed a grudging respect for each other. This just meant we got into trouble together. But better allies than enemies. But Kirk was a wild one. Then, a few years later came the army. Kirk enlisted and after a stint in uniform, he came back literally a new man. Seemingly a lot more thoughtful, respectful, mature and with a purpose. It looked good on him. I was proud of him. 

We were in our 20’s by this time and we saw less and less of each other–not that we saw each other that often to begin with, me being in Chicago, him in North Carolina. He married a girl named Tonia, had three kids, Anthony, Heather and Ashley. Aside from he and Tonia coming up for a visit once in the late (?) ’80’s, that was *maybe* the last time I saw him. Starting out a few states apart tends to make it easy to drift further apart as life grabs hold.

Credit Facebook with giving Kirk and I a platform for communicating back and forth over the past several years, with little comments, jabs and jokes here and there. Not much, but a lot more than in years past. 

I guess Kirk had bought a new farm house a year or so ago, had a big plot of land, and he had been working on it, taking care of it.

Yesterday, while presumably doing just that, Kirk had a heart attack, and he passed away. 

He was 57. 

Although time and distance made strangers of us, I will never forget that red headed maniac.

Rest in peace, cousin.

Over the years, there have been certain shows that have made an attempt to wow us with truly magnificent series finales. It’s not always expected, especially with the dramas that feature stand alone episodes and sometimes they just try and tie things up on a good note. For instance, on Hill Street Blues, Norman Buntz (Dennis Franz), decks the police commissioner after getting fired. He deserved it. On NYPD Blue, Andy Sipowicz (Dennis Franz) gets a long over due promotion to captain and was now in charge of the 12th precinct. Sometimes, the finale is just the exclamation point on a series.

Some shows were solid productions that went one step further. St. Elsewhere had a mind blowing ending where it turns out — 30 year old spoiler– that the entire series had all been happening entirely in the imagination of an autistic child. The actual St. Eligius hospital was but a tiny model in a snow globe. Instead of sticking the landing in the usual way, they called an audible and wowed us with the unusual. A Twilight Zone ending. That may have been the first drama to really go crazy on a series finale. I know some 15 or 20 years earlier, The Fugitive wrapped on a conclusive note with a special finale where Dr. Kimbel finally brought the one armed man to justice. Good and expected closure, an example where they needed a big ending — and they stuck the landing!

Comedies are a different animal– most either get cancelled or try to just go out on a good note, nothing huge. Some just go out on top with no special ending (The Dick Van Dyke Show). Maybe just some have a change of direction for cast members, a personal milestone, Etc. Mary Tyler Moore didn’t go big but ended on a transformative note for the cast that was brilliant. The buffoonish anchorman Ted Baxter kept his job, while all the hardworking, intelligent people behind the scenes got fired. I think there are only three exceptions where they went really big (and admittedly, I don’t watch everything so I might have missed certain big moments in shows I don’t watch, etc.) and while going big, all had varying degree of successes. 

Allegedly, the worst of the three was How I met your mother. According to my kids and others who watched it, the ending was a horrible cheat that kinda undercut the entirety of the show. Evidently, they did NOT stick the landing. In the middle, you had Seinfeld, where they tried to do a little too much, but at the same time, I think people expected SO much, that it put them in a lose lose situation. The gist was another example of why the four cast members were bad people and there was a court case with virtually every guest star they ever had coming back in to testify against them and they ended up in jail. It was horrible but it wasn’t great, it was just there.

The all time comedy winner though would be Newhart. Turns out, the entire series was just a dream of Bob Hartley, Newhart’s character on his other popular show, The Bob Newhart show ten years previous. He wakes up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette’s character Emily and describes his “bizarre dream”. It was not only an excellent ending, they stuck the landing hilariously, *and* gave us a mind blowing Twilight Zone ending. 

Some shows shouldn’t try so hard to end big. House is a good example. That was as regrettable as the previous season’s ending where all you got out of it was that he was a much bigger, far more useless, unlikable asshole than you thought before. Kinda tainted the whole previous series for me to an extent. Their eyes were bigger than their stomach.

I give FX’s The Americans points for ending their run on a realistic down note. It was depressing as hell, as the deep cover Russian agent’s cover was blown and they had to leave the country, minus their children. Truly miserable for some characters, but it was true to the story and they did stick the landing, no matter how depressing.

Madmen was more or less a victim of AMC’s annoying tendency to string out finales over two shortened seasons, instead of a regular length one. Matthew Wiener, the showrunner is also at fault. When AMC approached Vince Gilligan about splitting up the final 13 ep season of Breaking Bad into two 8 ep seasons, he agreed and worked MAGIC with the opportunity. Wiener went a different route. Madmen was a show that took place in the ’60’s. It started at the beginning of 1960 and over the first six seasons, brought us near the end of the decade. Instead of the regular length 7th season, AMC convinced Wiener to do two shorter 7 ep seasons. Wiener chose to end the 1960’s at the end of season 7A in 1969, with the moon landing and the death of beloved Bert Cooper, as Robert Morse did a final dance in a farewell production number. Had it ended there, I would have said they stuck the landing and ended on a good note. But it felt like Wiener approached season 7B as more of an add on, a reunion special or maybe coasting as an FU to AMC for breaking up the finale season. Season 7B felt like they were winging it as the cast stumbled into the 1970’s and the future. The season dead ended with the notion that Don Draper allegedly came up with the infamous “I’d like to teach the world to sing” Coca Cola commercial of the early ’70’s. Wiener was being clever and carefree but although many were fine with it, I felt the ending was a disappointing disconnect, not to mention — in my pedantic way — that Don did not come up with the idea. They did not stick the landing.

Deadwood, as excellent a show as it was, did not stick the landing because they never really landed. The show got taken off air after the third season (of a planned five) because HBO would only commit to a shortened fourth season for some stupid reason and creator David Milch pulled the plug as that wouldn’t work for him or the story he wanted to tell. It was ten years before Milch would be able to revisit the show, actually placing it ten years down the line in history as well, giving some much needed and appreciated closure. So in its way, it finally managed to stick the landing.

Sopranos was a case where creator David Chase wanted to get clever with a “pick your own” ending as the final scene simply, abruptly cut to black, so *you* were left to decide what exactly happened, whether it was just a statement saying “life goes on”, or maybe Tony went to prison or maybe things went black because Tony got whacked and the statement there was “you never see it coming”. It would be a good decade or more before Chase slipped up in an interview about the ending and actually referred to it as the death scene. A moment later, he realized he gave it up. Oops! But it confirmed what many thought, that you just never do see it coming. So, I *suppose* they stuck the landing. Maybe *you* should decide. 

Breaking Bad is the gold standard though. As excellent and as perfect an ending as a great show could have. None have come close to equaling it. Probably the most beautiful landing of all. And years later, we got a special epilogue that went down really nicely via Netflix, El Camino. You always take a chance when you revisit such a classic show, because you run the risk of lessening the original production in some way. No fear here though. It was a very nice addendum to the proceedings. They stuck the landing there too. And of course Better Call Saul, the BB prequel spinoff series is thundering toward it’s conclusion, which leads up to events of BB and beyond. Very much looking forward on how they fit that into the puzzle.

On the OTHER end of the spectrum, as fantastic as the end to Breaking Bad was, THAT’s how horrible the finale to Dexter was. This lump of unbelievable excrement capped a series which was actually on a quality downswing for the last four of its eight seasons, getting worse and worse as Dexter’s activities, actions and storylines became less and less plausible each season. A truly horrible, insulting and disappointing ending to what was once a god show. So there you have your two extremes.

If there are any stand out examples I’ve missed, please chime in and we can discuss.

With the MLB season delayed, potentially truncated or even abandoned all together this year, it just occurred to me–I have to wonder if some members of the Houston Astros aren’t feeling like they dodged a bullet. Mind you, I’m only referring to the dirtbags that participated in the cheating the last three years. During the first month of spring training this year, whether they were playing in their own facility or visiting other teams, every time the Astros took the field or stepped up to bat, they were hailed with boos. And they’d usually get at *least* one person in each crowd who’d loudly call them out on their cheating. It got to the point where players and even other mangers were like “enough already!”

But no, no, no…people in each town want to have their say, their pound of flesh, and I can’t blame them one bit. Not one bit. But now, with the arrival of COVID-19, the dirt bags get a reprieve from the boos and the venom– because we’ve got more pressing things to worry about and far better people to care about. Hard to imagine anyone benefiting from this mess but a handful of arrogant millionaire athletes are getting yet another break after spitting on their sport and giving us the finger. 

It’s a shame, and really, it may mark me as a petty and vindictive individual for this to even be occurring to me with all the actual *important* stuff going on. 

But A) I have a lot of time on my hands, and I think a lot, B) I can be very petty and vindictive, depending on the cause, and C) what’s happening now doesn’t mean they’re any less guilty of their crimes. The actual players/perpetrators faced no penalties, no fines. They got off scott free. The Karma train is still comin’.

So, if you’re a baseball fan and you need a little something to distract you from you know what, just think about the fact that, if the season does resume this year, the Astros still have to show up at Yankee stadium for the first *since* all the news broke. 

Yeah. Something to look forward to, because the thing IS.

Back when we had the family room addition put on in 2000 (because the kids refused to stop growing), I took advantage of the whole side of the house being exposed, with the easy access, to have air conditioning in. 

Yes, from 1992 to 2000, we had no AC in the house. The house was built somewhere between 1910 and 1919 and had its original radiator heat but that was it. So we had a space pack put in. Basically, a unit outside and another section inside with tubes running up through the house. The place that put it in was run by an incompetent moron (didn’t find this out until later) but he did charge less and then he inevitably went out of business. I had any further repairs (if needed) done by companies who charged more but at least they knew what they were doing. All in all, an excellent arrangement, but we definitely had to put in AC. Up until then, we had to survive with one window unit in what was then the family room (just inside the front door), with a shower curtain separating that room from the rest of the house. That was not an energy efficient situation. Mind you, the main floor was also half the size it is currently. We put another window unit up in Theresa’s room (that was also Matthew’s room when he showed up). 

It was manageable but yeah, we jumped at the chance to put in the new system. There have been occasional issues over the years but only one big purchase– a new exterior unit outside (a Lennox), which is allegedly a solid brand. The company we usually resort to for AC and plumbing issues has had to make some fixes in the past but I’ve learned a few tricks over the years. Aside from the normal, common sense stuff like changing the filter, and covering the top during the winter, there’s the cleaning of the exterior unit. The company offers a yearly maintenance service but evidently the cleaning is extra. Honestly, I expect a $125 maintenance charge to cover CLEANING THE UNIT. Bastards. 

Basically, there’s a dusty gunk that builds up over the delicate, metal mesh grid on the unit. All this is protected by slatted metal grates around the machine. All bolted on by special bolts. They charge another $150 to take those off and clean the mesh. 

However, if you take your garden hose, with thumb added pressurization, you can spray –at an appropriate angle — into and through the grate, shearing all the gunk off the mesh without disturbing it. Takes about 10, 15 minutes but it results in a clean unit. 

How’s your unit? Is your unit clean? Do people appreciate the look and cleanliness of your unit?

You should try and give your unit a good cleaning once a year minimum. Preferably now, in early spring. I just did it in fact, taking advantage of the sunny, 60 degree weather. This way, any water I did get in there will dry off and if by some chance we get up in the 80’s soon, I’ll be ready. And yeah, with our weather, you never know. Just a few days ago. It got up to 78. Crazy. 

Got my filters, got my unit clean, ready for action. 

Bring on the spring/summer heat, bitches. 

From autumn of 1967 to spring of 1973, I attended Gasteyer elementary school. Kindergarten through the middle of fifth grade. Barely remember the outside of the school except for the playground with some dangerous slides and that the school was red/brown brick. I don’t really remember any teachers or things that went on inside the school except one event. 

Last student leaving the class room had to turn off the light. One time, that was me. For some reason, a staple had been inserted right underneath the light switch. Prankster? Dunno. I flicked the switch with my finger, the switch, jammed, would not go down, so my finger slid off the switch, made contact with one end of the protruding staple and ZAP. Mini explosion, sparks, smoke, melted switch plate, and me staring at the fried end of my fingertip like an idiot. There was like a hole burnt in the end of the finger. It must have hurt like hell. It was a bizarre occurrence and I have no idea if anyone was ever apprehended for sticking a staple in there. I’m sure I was taken to the nurse and sent home.

Which was right across the street, baby! 

Yep, I lived across the street from school, so I got to go home for lunch every day, rambling across 99th street– fairly quiet neighborhood road and home, where my grandmother or “Gama” as I used to call her, would have lunch ready for me. And to accompany the daily feast, I got to watch Bozo’s Circus at lunch time. 

Bozo, the world’s most famous clown! Oliver O’ Oliver! Sandy the tramp! The big top Band! Whoever the guest act was! Ringmaster Ned, (that’s he!), and a cast of thousands! It was all very exciting, being a youngster. Bozo’s circus was a dependable staple (ouch) of my daily routine. 

Bozo himself, a tall, gangly fella, with an all red suit (later blue), big wide red hair, giant blue shoes and a great laugh. He had a great comedy style– not too dissimilar from Bugs Bunny really. They both skirted the edges of humor that worked on two levels, kids and adults. Oliver O Oliver was a hayseed and the second banana, while Sandy was the little hobo clown who never said a word. They were usually all corralled and kept in check by Ringmaster Ned. The clowns did a few comedy sketched every day, cartoons were shown, and they’d have a different guest act each day. Acrobats, unicyclists, jugglers, dog acts, you name it. The most nerve wracking were the plate spinners. For a kid watching a plate spinner do their act, it was the child’s equivalent of trying to sell your house, you have only one possible buyer and you’re both operating on contingents. 

The sketches were usually fun and occasionally, you could tell the boys were laughing about something we weren’t supposed to know but the moms and dads in the audience were sure laughing. The stands were always packed with moms, dads and kids. It was the hottest ticket in all of Chicago. Screw present day Hamilton or season tickets for the Cubs. At one point, there was like a 12 year waiting list for tickets to Bozo’s Circus! And games! Magic arrows would search the audience (no…just a mom) to pick a boy and a girl to play the GRAND PRIZE GAME! You had to stand behind the line and throw a ping pong ball into a series of buckets lined up in front of you. Make a bucket, get a prize. Make all *six*, oh yes, a new Schwinn bike! 

After all the fun and excitement, Ringmaster Ned would blow his whistle, say good bye and announce that it was time for the Grand March! Then Bozo would do a high steppin’ dance as he led everyone out of the studio, twirling his baton. Then it was back to school for me. Good times.

Bob Bell played Bozo for many years and inspired and entertained thousands of kids. In fact, Dan Castallaneta, voice of Homer Simpson and a dozen other voices on the Simpsons, *based* Krusty the clown’s voice on Bob Bell’s Bozo voice. 

There were other clowns in the entourage over the years. Ray Rayner stopped playing Oliver to go on and do his daily morning show for me and thousands of other kids, playing with Chelviston the Duck, Cuddly Dudley at his house, playing cartoons, etc. that was my morning! There was also Cooky the clown, Whizzo, and others. Eventually Bell retired and there was a new Bozo for a new age. All things must come to an end, as did the Bozo show years later but those lunchtimes were a lot of fun. 

Bozo. 

The only Clown I ever liked. 

Although that’s to be expected with the World’s Most Famous.