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Adios, Espanol

Well, I had a good run. I went about 194 straight days on Spanish. According to my stats, learned over 9,000 words and was in the top 1% of students.

But a couple things happened. First, COVID started to slow me down. I wasn’t bad yet but the morning Spanish sessions were getting more laborious.

On one Sunday, I thought I’d had enough points to keep me in the vaunted Diamond League once again. I miscalculated and got bumped by a fraction of a point.

Worse, how they let you know you got demoted, with a snarky animated shot of your Diamond plaque falling on the floor. It irritated me.

Admittedly, I was already feeling off, and really wasn’t in the mood for the Duolingo attitude machine. With which they try and apply more guilt than the Catholic Church. Next, I realized that I’d have to spend that much more time to try and get a ton more points in the following week to achieve Diamond again.

No. It was a lot easier to maintain Diamond than try and scale the mountain again, so I just stopped, cold turkey.

I needed a break anyway, and unfortunately, soon, I really getting worse. And I would have had to stop anyway when I went into hospital. So it is what it is.

Then of course, I eventually got an email from Duolingo saying “I made Duo sad”. Duo is their owl mascot, through which they often deliver their guilt. Crying Duo, pestering Duo, reminder Duo, etc.

Yeah, well for once I responded to the email. I’d just about had it with the Duo guilt. Sure, it’s their schtick, how they keep you on track blah blah blah.

I was really not in the mood. I won’t go into exact wording but yes, I totally overreacted.

Although bonus– no more guilt reminders or emails from Duo!

Now I know what it takes.

Will I ever go back?

No yo se.

Sales calls

Years ago, 20 or more, we used to get at least a sales call every hour. Irritating as hell. Then I heard about the Do Not Call registry, and listed my numbers. This actually helped, cutting out the majority of sales calls.

There was a couple features you could add to your phone as well, I forget what it was called, maybe privacy manager. There, if the number wasn’t registered, in essence, a sales call, it would get blocked. This worked too good though, as certain doctors would call about this or that or test results and doctors have unlisted numbers, so there’s a problem.

These days, the Do Not Call registry may no longer be of much use–although I may go and re-enter my numbers for the heck of it. But the sales companies have gotten that much more crafty.

I’m sure you’ve probably run afoul of this. The phone rings, and it’s your area code and the caller ID gives someone’s name. You pick it up and of course, it’s a sales call that’s piggybacked on someone’s personal phone number to deliver a stealth sales call.

Slimy as hell.

One time, I called the person in question back to let them know someone stole their number for sales call purposes. They were not happy. I don’t blame them.

One time, someone in the neighborhood here called me to ask what I wanted. Evidently, they saw my number, no one was on the phone, so they called me. I had to explain what happened. They were not happy. Neither was I. It’s annoying as hell.

I *don’t* know of any way to stop it. We might get a couple calls a day. Usually, if I don’t recognize the number, or there’s no name, I just pick up and hang up to stop the ringing. If it was someone I know, or something important, they’ll call back.

ONE time, I actually got a phone call from me. Yes, my house was calling my house.

I suspect it wasn’t really me at all.

Yeah, I’ve gotta refresh things on the Do Not Call list.

I thought I heard you’ve got to re-enter your numbers every five years for some reason.

I’m way behind.

Maybe I’ll call myself with a reminder.

Update; My number is already listed in the registry and it does not expire. That just means there’s nothing I can do. Sigh.

Pizza Rollette

For time immemorial, whenever you’re feeling adventurous at meal time, there is a game. Yes, there could be danger. You may very well get burnt.

The game is a variation on Russian Roulette. Only this version, you eat. Pizza rolls.

Totino’s Pizza Rolls.

They come frozen, in one inch long, fried, sealed packets, filled with pizza sauce, cheese, and bits of …. stuff.

You spread however many you want on a paper plate and nuke ’em. You’re supposed to individually flip them over halfway through the process.

The point is, when microwaving these packets, even adhering to the instructions, it’s anyone’s guess how deeply cooked they end up getting. The interior conditions regarding the fillings is anyone’s guess.

And I’m talking the right side of the plate versus just the left side of the plate.

For the last 45 years, I’ve purchased these things off and on, and these pizza rolls have never cooked evenly.

I know.

So when you sit down with say, a dozen cooked pizza rolls in front you, the most dangerous game begins.

First, you attempt to determine the temperature of a roll by touch. There may be one two that are cool or cold to the touch. Safe enough to bite, but if the interior is cold, well, it’s not as tasty.

There may be one or two that are scalding to the touch, and even has the filling leaking out. Brilliant, you know to let them cool.

But it’s the mid range rolls where the game begins.

The remainder of these cooked packets seem warm enough to the touch but don’t really give an accurate representation of what lies within. It’s up to you.

You could fully bite into one and it might be just right. Or cold.

Or you could chomp into a roll of scalding lava that will not only shoot it’s napalm into your mouth, but also out and down your cheeks, pouring pain on your face, as well as your tongue and roof of your mouth.

This is Pizza Rollette.

Do you dare?

HMMMMMMMMMMM??????

YOU, ME & the VACCINE

At some point here, someone may get offended. Just an FYI.

It’s December now, and the vaccine hopefully will be hitting the streets soon. No idea how smooth or disastrous the roll out will be.

When it does though, I, of course, will be getting it. Why wouldn’t I?

Having developed no antibodies from getting it the first time, I’m wide open to further infection from anybody and everybody.

So far, everything about the vaccine’s reputation is coming up roses. I have yet to hear anyone speak a negative word about it from the scientific community.

As this drops, the FDA is about to approve it. (Unless of course this is all too good to be true)

The science says it’s safe.

It’s been said to be 95% effective.

Fauci’s on board.

So yeah, I’m on board too. I’ll be first in line as soon as I’m eligible.

Now, as far as I’m concerned, even with the vaccine, I’ll still have to take precautions. Probably wear a mask in certain scenarios.

Why? Just in case the dose I get isn’t exactly 95% effective. I’ll feel much more comfortable, but again, being wide open, that remaining 5-ish percent is there. So, my credo of “better safe than sorry” stands.

But taking the vaccine is my choice.

You also have a choice. You could take the vaccine, thus protecting not only yourself, but everyone else, including your loved ones. *Seems* like the smart thing to do. Some people aren’t on board with some vaccinations. I totally get the refusal of people to take the flu shot every year, but that and this are very different.

There are people of all ages spread across the country now who are still refusing to wear masks, because they’re “protecting their rights”. Of course in taking this stand, they run the risk of not only them getting sick, but making their possibly vulnerable friends and family sick. And there are those who also are steadfastly refusing the vaccine when it comes out for a crazy variety of reasons. Evidently, that’s roughly half of America. It’s still their choice.

Again, it seems stupid to me but there’s a whole bunch of stupid out there.

For instance, even with the very clear knowledge of what he stands for, 74 million people voted to re-elect Trump. But again, this is what’s left of America, and it was their choice.

When it comes to the vaccine, I hope you make the right one, for your loved ones, if not yourself. My point in this entry is not to lecture. My point is that I sincerely hope that if you’re someone *I* know, or a relative, that you take the vaccine. Again, it is your choice.

I’m saying right now though, that if you’re someone I know and choose *not* to take the vaccine, (I don’t care why–“government conspiracy”, your rights are being violated, it’s a political trick!, you’re suspicious, you’ve run out of tin foil to line your hat with)…well…

Hopefully you’ll understand when I say I can no longer afford to have anything to do with you in person. I guess at least until Covid’s totally eradicated. (?)

Understand— I SERIOUSLY can’t take the chance.

If you think I’m being paranoid, or too cautious, well, I’ll go out on a limb and pretty easily assume that you haven’t been through what I have over the past two years. If you had, I think you’d back me 1,000%.

I’ve had too many nightmare scenarios to add another.

So, I guess for those who know me, fair warning.

Please pass the info along to anyone who may not easily come across this. FB and my blog is the best I can do in spreading the word.

This is my choice.

Thanks.

P.S. You DO know why we don’t all have Polio now….. right? (Look it up, kids)

Ear Plugs are my friends

It took several instances of large, family weekend retreats, comic book convention meet ups with room sharing, and just our family on trips sharing a hotel room… but I finally learned.

In these scenarios, there will always be snoring or some other crazy sounds at night. Packing ear plugs– several of them– is one of the first things you should pack on any journey.

I’ve got several extended family members who can saw logs like nobody’s business. There was one time at mom and Vic’s lake house in either Indiana or Michigan. It’s ages since they had it, but a load of family was sacked out all over the place raising a ruckus. Me being a very light sleeper, I just stared at the ceiling in horror, trying to think of where I could actually go to to get away from the 3.4 on the Richter scale snore fest. I needed ear plugs.

Friends of mine and myself used to gather each September in Baltimore for a comics convention. In an effort to save money, depending on the year’s attendance, either 3, 6, 9 or as many as a dozen of us would share the room. There was much drinking, and in the end, you’d better hope you were in a coma sleep, so you weren’t capable of hearing the constant sound of a riding mower in the room.

One weekend, I was horribly sober by the time we went to bed– a bad miscalculation on my part. In an effort to pace myself, throughout the day, I alternated beers and energy drinks. THIS WAS A MISTAKE, as it was the last time in some 30 years where I actually hugged the porcelain god. The worst part was that I was sharing a bed with a big guy who could shake the rafters effortlessly with his endless night serenade. It was so bad, that’s what finally turned the tide. I always brought ear plugs after that. In any and all overnight situations.

At our biggest ever gathering in 2013, one poor, wide awake soul, described the snoring surrounding him akin to a T-Rex getting slaughtered in a lumber yard.

My own little nuclear family has snorers, me included. In any hotel room, the following morning, a lot of blame gets thrown around, usually at me, until I mention that when I was awake, I heard it too.

My recent hospital stay was another good example. Linda had to grab things I’d need while there. Ear plugs were at the top of the list. And thank god. It greatly muffled or shut out a steady flow of beeps, chirps, alarms, you name it. They were especially helpful when the nurses would burst in at 11pm, 2am and 5am to take vitals, draw blood, etc. Lessened the shock.

Even now, back home, I’m residing in Theresa’s old room, which is directly under Matthew’s current room. In his room, he stays up until 3-ish each night, either online with friends or writing. All this taking place on a hardwood floor, I hear the exclamations and chatter early, then after he quiets down, considering hour, I hear the rolling of his chair, the pacing back and forth as he writes and thinks.

But again…ear plugs are my eternal friends. Totally takes me out.

I can not recommend it highly enough.

Theaters, Studios, and Movies, Oh My!

Thanks to our old pal COVID, the movie industry–like many others– has been crippled. The studios, who foot the bill for the movies, are feverishly trying to recoup their losses on movies that attempted to go through theaters, only to end up box office disappointments.

Warner put out Chris Nolan’s Tenet a few months ago, presumably as a guinea pig, to see how it might do. Nolan’s impressive track record aside, the film got middling reviews and yes, disappointing box office. But it being released in August, when they gambled that COVID cases might be waning, didn’t work out.

A LOT of people want nothing to do with a possibly crowded movie theater, and who can blame them? Think about it.

Even if they only allowed in a third of a crowd for social distancing, I’m not even sure how they’d get past people having to pass in front of others in the aisle.

Even then, you’re in an enclosed space with others for three hours.

Then, snacks. Masks are off to drink and eat.

This is a huge point.

A theater doesn’t make its money on the movies it shows. It makes its money on the concessions. I have no idea what percentage will forego snacks to keep the masks on. They could just as easily bring something from home, to not risk further contact with concession people. I just don’t know.

What I do know is that right now, no one’s getting hurt more than the theaters.

Meanwhile, the new tactic Warner has employed, most notably with Wonder Woman 1984, has been releasing the film in theaters (those that are still open) on Christmas Day, while simultaneously, releasing it on HBO MAX, currently referred to as a “faulty” and “struggling” streaming service owned by AT&T-Warner.

Strategically, this is maybe the best way to release a movie in a COVID covered America right now.

Side note: WW84 was originally slated to be released in Nov. 2019, well before the pandemic. But Warner decided to go for the brass ring and push it back to summer of ’20. WHOOPS!

Interestingly, a couple things just happened. For whatever reason, maybe to address some contractual element, Warner paid Gal Gadot and WW84 director Patty Jenkins another 10 mil each. This of course sent ripples through the industry because of course all the other directors and stars heard about that too.

The other thing that just happened is that in the deep dark of night, Warner took their entire slate of planned 2021 movies and committed them to be released on HBO MAX, as well as theaters.

Larger ripples now, as the clandestine move came off like Warner trying to build up it’s troubled streaming service. So let the mountain of lawsuits begin.

Chris Nolan’s already publicly stated that in making that move, Warners has gone from one of the most popular studios in the eyes of directors, to the bottom of the list. Who wants to create their film with the end goal being it getting dumped on a streaming service? He says directors want the prestige of the theater.

Well, maybe Nolan needs to wake up.

First, maybe he should give Scorsese a call. Marty couldn’t even get a solid theater deal, and the Irishman premiered on Netflix. Could be you in ten years, Chris.

Also, know your world, your audience and all its current limitations! Pandemic!

Only a fraction of the people are even going to movie theaters, those that are still open.

I’d ask Nolan and his friends this. What’s more important, getting your film in front of a small percentage of people in The Theater, or combining that with just as many if not more eyeballs via something like HBO MAX? Is the *setting* the most important bit, or is it GETTING THE FILM SEEN?

As for the 2021 Warner film slate, they’d already shifted stuff like The Batman around to 2022, so some have referred to what’s left as “light”.

So if, by the end of 2021, everyone gets the vaccine*, maybe some semblance of normalcy might come back to the entire movie industry, and maybe a lot of different entities might bury hatchets and people can resume going to the theaters.

*Sadly, that’s that “Perfect, Unicorn-World” thinking there. Because about half the country will refuse to take the vaccine, thus ensuring that this goes well past 2021.

The Mandalorian Season 1 – (Spoilers)

When it comes to Star Wars movies, I think the hardcore, yet reasonable fans will tell you that it all maybe should have ended after Return of the Jedi. The prequels and sequels are maybe more trouble than they’re worth, on several levels.

Maybe the best thing about the prequels is that it spurred on the various animated series that by and large, was of a much higher quality than the prequels.

This is because George Lucas has some good over all ideas and concepts that were applied to the animated series. Most importantly, that’s where George stepped away, letting *others* write and produce stories. If he’d taken that approach with the prequels, well, things might be very different.

But as time has gone by, there have been attempts to load up the audience with more Star Wars than ever, to diminishing returns.

But then came The Mandalorian, by Jon Favreau. I think it’s a safe bet to say The Mandalorian is maybe over all the best Star Wars we’ve gotten in decades. A) because it’s a low bar to step over and B) it doesn’t quite rely on as many hoary old Star Wars cliches. It’s more or less a back to basics space western, with Mando as the bounty hunter.

The twist comes when the big bad bounty hunter has to take charge of an infant, the same species as Yoda. A Star Wars take on the old manga “Lone Wolf and Cub.”

The little blend of CGI and puppet is cute as a button and has GOT to be the biggest selling toy in SW history. Everything this kid does is cute. Ambling around, eating horrific things if they don’t eat him, etc. Lucas WISHES he could have come with a character half this cute. Unlike the Ewoks, this character works. Oh, and the Force is strong within this 50 year old (!) infant.

Through the eight eps which comprise the first season, we see Mando start to get attached to the kid, while they navigate through adventures, picking up allies.

The acting is alright for the most part, but there is still the modern day bad habit to squeeze celebrity cameos into each and every episode. Frankly, maybe it’s time to stop that. When celebrities pop in all the time, so they can say “Hey, I was in Star Wars!”, it can kind of take you out of the story. Unless they’re under heavy make up or a Stormtrooper mask. Ignorance can be bliss. Really, Bill Burr is not as amazing an actor as some think. But hey, he got to be in Star Wars! Woo!

Hey, you know what happens when every single celebrity in Hollywood all get to be in Star Wars? It’s no longer really that special if it’s on *everybody’s* resume.

Focusing on the Mandalorian section of the SW universe is a good strategy and pretty refreshing. We learn about The Way of Things and how they operate–at least what few we actually come into contact with. The big thing about the Mandalorian is that they never take their helmets off in front of everyone. So we go through the first season never seeing the star. I liked this, as it adds an air of mystery to the proceedings. Which brings me to my big criticism.

By the first season finale, Mando has changed a bit, grown. He alters his thinking on certain things including trusting androids. When his wound must be treated, an android convinces him to take off his helmet, citing that since he’s not alive, he wouldn’t be breaking the code. All that is well and good. But this is the mistake, off comes the helmet and we see doughy, sweaty Pedro Pescal laying there. Pedro might have put it in his contract, but frankly, all I could see was A) just some guy, and B) the idiot from Game of Thrones who didn’t confirm his kill before getting his head popped.

No, no, no. Favreau screwed the pooch. Everything in that scene could have played through even more powerfully if the camera went over the shoulder behind Pescal. The android would see him, tend to his wound, we’d see that he’d learned to trust, let his guard down, but the mystery would still be there as far as the audience not seeing his face. The second we saw his face, he was just “some guy”. So long, air of mystery.

Poorly played, Jon.

Still, over all, I think the show’s a triumph though as far as bringing fresh, new Star Wars to the fans.

I’ll touch base at some point on season two before the end of the month.

The Doctor Who New Years Day Special

This upcoming New Years Day will broadcast the latest Doctor Who special, “Revolution of the Daleks”.

The special picks up some time after the events of the Series 12 finale, “The Timeless Child”. An episode so divisive amongst DW fandom, that the majority of fans just threw their hands up in the air, shook their heads, and closed the door.

The ratings, which had been in steady and consistent freefall each and every week since the start of the Chibnall era with Series 11, continued to speed toward rock bottom, even against no other competition on the other channels (unlike Series 10 and earlier).

Quick recap–it turns out that the character we know as the Doctor, is not a Time Lord, not from Gallifrey, and not dependent on a certain amount of regenerations before death.

No, according to “showrunner” Chris Chibnall, it turns out that the Doctor is a billion year old god who can never die. Ever. Just showed up as a child on Gallifrey one day, billions and billions of years ago. After dying in an accident, it turned out the kid could regenerate into a new, healthy body. The scientist who witnessed this did what anyone would, I guess. She tortured and killed the child thousands of times to learn the secrets of regeneration, so those who would one day become Time Lords could reap all the benefits. Billions of years later, the child would become the Doctor.

To put it in Star Trek terms, it would be like saying that the character of Spock was never actually a Vulcan/human hybrid, but instead, an undercover Klingon operative who’d undergone drastic cosmetic surgery. So the Spock we saw in TOS, the movies, etc. was a totally different character.

At the end of the finale –there was a lot more idiocy and bad writing involved but we’ll skip it– a squadron of Judoon pop into the TARDIS, and take the Doctor away to space prison.

Which brings us to the upcoming special, and trailer along with it, that let’s us see a bit of what they have in store. I wish I could say it was exciting.

***One important note before I go further– the special is airing on New Years Day 2021, just like when they did it on NYD 2019. What’s significant about the day is the arrogance or incompetence of Chibnall.

See, ever since the revival of the show in 2005, one of the big bonuses of having a season of Doctor Who was getting to end the year with a big CHRISTMAS special.

In the U.K., one of the most prestigious time slots you can GET is Christmas Day. It’s huge. The prime time of prime time. Previous showrunners Russell T. Davies and Steven Moffat always appreciated the reverence and honor of taking that Christmas Day time slot. They both. Ent over backwards to make it happen, campaigned for it, you name it. In fact, if you care about the show you’re running, want it to be honored and enjoyed properly, and get ratings, then you would without a doubt be campaigning for the coveted slot without question.

As a showrunner, frankly, you would have to be some kind of bone-headed numbskull to throw all of that away. Someone who literally doesn’t know how to run a show, and quite possibly couldn’t differentiate their ass from a hole in the ground.

Meet Chris Chibnall. Ever since he took over in 2018, he’s stated firmly that he won’t be doing any Christmas specials on Doctor Who. Ever. Former Doctors David Tennant and Matt Smith even wondered aloud at a convention why on earth they’re no longer doing Christmas specials. Meet Chris Chibnall.

My best guess, Chibnall’s greatest calling, mandate, whatever, is to put his stamp on the show, no matter how adverse the affects, because it’s about ego. To say to the world, “Hey, I’m in charge now!!!” Also to try and one up his predecessors. If Moffat made Number 11 live about 1,200 years, had Number 12 stuck in a confession dial for 4.5 billion years, well gosh, I’ll make the character as old as the universe! Hah! (All based on a one minute throwaway in-joke from a 1976 episode).

If RTD and the Moff were all hot and bothered about Christmas specials, I’ll show them, by shifting over to the far less popular option! Ha!

Even the decent decisions, like bringing in the first female Doctor and extremely diverse cast all went to shit because they were horribly cast and horribly written. Chibs wants to put his stamp on things, but so far, it hasn’t gone like he expected.

But on to the “special”.

Usually, you’d pull out all the stops for a special, bring in big names, something huge. The biggest they could get is John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness. Jack’s alright, and it looks like he’s not sporting a bad wig this time, but Jack’s been fairly played out over the last 15 years. Barrowman was trash talking DW through a big chunk of the Moffat era saying the Moff had something against him and couldn’t believe Jack hadn’t come back like everyone wanted him to.

Not everyone wanted him to.

Barrowman –professional diva and drama queen –would never pass up a chance to publicly campaign for Jack’s return in the most obnoxious, insulting way possible. Barrowman’s an over the top mess. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Moffat didn’t want to deal with that headache.

But Jack is heading the special, because it’s kind of the best Chibs can do.

They’re also bringing back Chris Noth as the Trump-like character from S11’s “Arachnids in the U.K.”, another horrifically written piece of crap from Chibnall. When the chips were down in that ep, he actually had the Trump character come off as the merciful, sensible one about putting the giant spider out of its misery.

It’s a bad sign when the Doctor is shown to be a bigger idiot than the Trump wannabe. Wrong wrong wrong. Arachnids was rated one of the worst eps in the history of the show. So they’re bringing back the main character from it. Good luck Chris Noth.

We also see the current, useless companions not doing much, but that’s been their lot in this era. Useless and ineffective. Yaz does seem to get attacked by a Dalek squid, so hey.

The threat this time looks to be a newly designed Dalek (always a great idea) and for some reason, Trump-lite is teaming up with the Prime Minister to publicly introduce their new security drones. That look like Daleks. The Daleks that have ravaged England and the world several times just since the revival.

Pretty much the second they show up on tv, one would think people would start freaking out because DALEKS.

I can only assume that Chibs thinks the fans are stupid (plenty of evidence to back that up), certainly Brits in the episode, including the PM are all suffering from either idiocy or lacking their long term memory. Of course, for the umpteenth time, Daleks are then seen flying around, exterminating, because Chibs is nothing if not unoriginal.

So, yeah, the usual amount of intelligence seems to have been pumped into this latest Chibs classic.

Oh, and the Doctor probably shows up, but we only see her in her cell, marking off days.

One wonders why she’s even marking off days. She’s an immortal god now. Why waste the chalk? Go take a millennium long nap.

The thing is, you usually tend to hope that the next ep…..maybe it’ll be better than you think. Unfortunately, after giving Chibs the benefit of the doubt over his two seasons, it’s never better. It’s almost always worse.

But don’t worry, you probably won’t get a review from me confirming the crap. MOSTLY, because I’m done with the daily blog as of December 31st.

Thank you.

The Great British Bake-Off

12 contestants are picked from thousands of entries each year. The new bakers then gather in a giant tent in a glen to compete in dozens of baking challenges.

There are three timed challenges each week. The Signature, which they have foreknowledge of and can practice at home, the Technical, where they go in blind with limited instructions, and then the Show-Stopper, which has to visually amaze and taste perfect. They can practice this ahead of time too. Amazing how seldom that helps them when the chips are down.

Each week, the one who performs worst must leave the tent. The best gets Star Baker. By week ten, only the top three finalists are left to determine who will be the winner.

What do they win? A very lovely glass cake stand, etched with the logo.

Because all they want is to be good bakers.

The best baker.

Quite a lovely notion. Very British.

Paul Hollywood has been the one consistent presence over the last decade the show’s been on. He of the steely blue gaze and frosty hair, beard and demeanor. His current judging partner is Prue Leith. She of the blazingly colorful outfits.

There have always been two comedians who announce the challenges, give timing updates as challenges move through the day, and mingle with the bakers amidst the bakes. The latest duo is Noel Fielding (The IT Crowd), and Matt Lucas (Little Britain).

Now, as to the quality and talent of the bakers themselves. And how they actually get on the show. I seriously thought they just picked a diverse cross section of people (age, sex, race, disability) who liked to bake. Nope, not that simple.

The producers bring in the applicants for sample bakes, baking on camera for screen tests, second auditions, more sample bakes for the producers, and even a psyche evaluation. Frankly, that level of rigorous testing blew me away. Especially after seeing how disorganized and incompetent some of the bakers on the show are.

After seeing some of the disasters and fails in the tent, the deadwood does tend to fall away in short order anyway though.

Where I raise my eyebrow is whenever Paul or Prue declares that “These three are the best bakers we’ve ever had!” Or that they’ve assembled 12 of the finest bakers in all the land!”

Hmmm, no, I don’t think so.

Really, without the incompetent bakers, the dopey bakers, the disasters in the making, you’d lose some of the reality tv type drama, even though the drama is all real.

This latest season just wrapped up and of the three finalists, one was such an unworthy disaster, the only reason this person survived to the final round, was that during the previous 9 weeks, there was simply someone who managed to screw up even worse.

So yeah, the company line about these being the *best* bakers…not so much. But they are nice and mostly entertaining. And again, the really bad ones don’t hang about.

Aside from winning the competition, the highest honor a baker can receive is a handshake from Hollywood. It’s somewhat rare, and an honor. In fact, Theresa and I concocted a drinking game for the show. We’ve only attempted it twice in the last few years. We call it the Great British Drink Off.

Off the top of my head, you take a drink if

Baker ran out of time

Something’s undercooked

Paul says something snarky

Prue gets excited about alcohol

Someone doesn’t turn on their oven

You *finish* your drink if

Baker gets a handshake from Paul

There’s a baking disaster/spill

If Prue shows fire(sass), shot of Fireball!

Those are the basics but it’s a fun game. We usually wait and watch the first three eps of the season together. This way, there are the maximum amount of bakers for the maximum amount of possibilities. Bread week is usually the theme for week three where all things are possible. There’s a different theme each week (pastry, patisserie, etc.)

They’ve got all the seasons on Netflix.

Get ready, get set, BAKE!

Blog Bits

Ever since I got home from the hospital, and discovered I had only two blogs in reserve, —when I really needed 26 to finish out the year/experiment– I realized that I had to go back to the well, and see if there were any subjects I haven’t covered that I should.

So I’ve been typing away on a few things, as I’d like to cover as much as possible before year’s end. Come January 1st, the daily blogs will obviously cease, as the experiment will be over. That’s not to say that I’ll never post up a new blog but it might be a while.

Now, while I know no one reads every blog, and most people need to be fed links or they just don’t bother, there was a gap while I was in the hospital, where I fear one really slipped through the cracks. Those that have subscribed got it delivered straight TO them, of course, the lucky bastards.

But I’m talking about a little piece I enjoyed writing called

“Winky the Giraffe had an itch”.

Honest to god, it’s a real story, albeit brief. Hopefully I can isolate the link here. If it just gives you the page to scroll through, just scroll down, might be on the second page, as they go from most recent, back to older ones. It was published and dated November 21st. I hope you like it, I had fun.

Link to Winky

Aside from that, well, they’ll *all* always be there, and you can scroll to your heart’s content, alllllllllll the way back to the beginning of the year. All 366 when it’s said and done.

The beginning of this year. Jesus.

Can we even remember that simpler, more carefree time?

Sadly, yeah, because the Thing IS.