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Theaters, Studios, and Movies, Oh My!

Thanks to our old pal COVID, the movie industry–like many others– has been crippled. The studios, who foot the bill for the movies, are feverishly trying to recoup their losses on movies that attempted to go through theaters, only to end up box office disappointments.

Warner put out Chris Nolan’s Tenet a few months ago, presumably as a guinea pig, to see how it might do. Nolan’s impressive track record aside, the film got middling reviews and yes, disappointing box office. But it being released in August, when they gambled that COVID cases might be waning, didn’t work out.

A LOT of people want nothing to do with a possibly crowded movie theater, and who can blame them? Think about it.

Even if they only allowed in a third of a crowd for social distancing, I’m not even sure how they’d get past people having to pass in front of others in the aisle.

Even then, you’re in an enclosed space with others for three hours.

Then, snacks. Masks are off to drink and eat.

This is a huge point.

A theater doesn’t make its money on the movies it shows. It makes its money on the concessions. I have no idea what percentage will forego snacks to keep the masks on. They could just as easily bring something from home, to not risk further contact with concession people. I just don’t know.

What I do know is that right now, no one’s getting hurt more than the theaters.

Meanwhile, the new tactic Warner has employed, most notably with Wonder Woman 1984, has been releasing the film in theaters (those that are still open) on Christmas Day, while simultaneously, releasing it on HBO MAX, currently referred to as a “faulty” and “struggling” streaming service owned by AT&T-Warner.

Strategically, this is maybe the best way to release a movie in a COVID covered America right now.

Side note: WW84 was originally slated to be released in Nov. 2019, well before the pandemic. But Warner decided to go for the brass ring and push it back to summer of ’20. WHOOPS!

Interestingly, a couple things just happened. For whatever reason, maybe to address some contractual element, Warner paid Gal Gadot and WW84 director Patty Jenkins another 10 mil each. This of course sent ripples through the industry because of course all the other directors and stars heard about that too.

The other thing that just happened is that in the deep dark of night, Warner took their entire slate of planned 2021 movies and committed them to be released on HBO MAX, as well as theaters.

Larger ripples now, as the clandestine move came off like Warner trying to build up it’s troubled streaming service. So let the mountain of lawsuits begin.

Chris Nolan’s already publicly stated that in making that move, Warners has gone from one of the most popular studios in the eyes of directors, to the bottom of the list. Who wants to create their film with the end goal being it getting dumped on a streaming service? He says directors want the prestige of the theater.

Well, maybe Nolan needs to wake up.

First, maybe he should give Scorsese a call. Marty couldn’t even get a solid theater deal, and the Irishman premiered on Netflix. Could be you in ten years, Chris.

Also, know your world, your audience and all its current limitations! Pandemic!

Only a fraction of the people are even going to movie theaters, those that are still open.

I’d ask Nolan and his friends this. What’s more important, getting your film in front of a small percentage of people in The Theater, or combining that with just as many if not more eyeballs via something like HBO MAX? Is the *setting* the most important bit, or is it GETTING THE FILM SEEN?

As for the 2021 Warner film slate, they’d already shifted stuff like The Batman around to 2022, so some have referred to what’s left as “light”.

So if, by the end of 2021, everyone gets the vaccine*, maybe some semblance of normalcy might come back to the entire movie industry, and maybe a lot of different entities might bury hatchets and people can resume going to the theaters.

*Sadly, that’s that “Perfect, Unicorn-World” thinking there. Because about half the country will refuse to take the vaccine, thus ensuring that this goes well past 2021.

The Mandalorian Season 1 – (Spoilers)

When it comes to Star Wars movies, I think the hardcore, yet reasonable fans will tell you that it all maybe should have ended after Return of the Jedi. The prequels and sequels are maybe more trouble than they’re worth, on several levels.

Maybe the best thing about the prequels is that it spurred on the various animated series that by and large, was of a much higher quality than the prequels.

This is because George Lucas has some good over all ideas and concepts that were applied to the animated series. Most importantly, that’s where George stepped away, letting *others* write and produce stories. If he’d taken that approach with the prequels, well, things might be very different.

But as time has gone by, there have been attempts to load up the audience with more Star Wars than ever, to diminishing returns.

But then came The Mandalorian, by Jon Favreau. I think it’s a safe bet to say The Mandalorian is maybe over all the best Star Wars we’ve gotten in decades. A) because it’s a low bar to step over and B) it doesn’t quite rely on as many hoary old Star Wars cliches. It’s more or less a back to basics space western, with Mando as the bounty hunter.

The twist comes when the big bad bounty hunter has to take charge of an infant, the same species as Yoda. A Star Wars take on the old manga “Lone Wolf and Cub.”

The little blend of CGI and puppet is cute as a button and has GOT to be the biggest selling toy in SW history. Everything this kid does is cute. Ambling around, eating horrific things if they don’t eat him, etc. Lucas WISHES he could have come with a character half this cute. Unlike the Ewoks, this character works. Oh, and the Force is strong within this 50 year old (!) infant.

Through the eight eps which comprise the first season, we see Mando start to get attached to the kid, while they navigate through adventures, picking up allies.

The acting is alright for the most part, but there is still the modern day bad habit to squeeze celebrity cameos into each and every episode. Frankly, maybe it’s time to stop that. When celebrities pop in all the time, so they can say “Hey, I was in Star Wars!”, it can kind of take you out of the story. Unless they’re under heavy make up or a Stormtrooper mask. Ignorance can be bliss. Really, Bill Burr is not as amazing an actor as some think. But hey, he got to be in Star Wars! Woo!

Hey, you know what happens when every single celebrity in Hollywood all get to be in Star Wars? It’s no longer really that special if it’s on *everybody’s* resume.

Focusing on the Mandalorian section of the SW universe is a good strategy and pretty refreshing. We learn about The Way of Things and how they operate–at least what few we actually come into contact with. The big thing about the Mandalorian is that they never take their helmets off in front of everyone. So we go through the first season never seeing the star. I liked this, as it adds an air of mystery to the proceedings. Which brings me to my big criticism.

By the first season finale, Mando has changed a bit, grown. He alters his thinking on certain things including trusting androids. When his wound must be treated, an android convinces him to take off his helmet, citing that since he’s not alive, he wouldn’t be breaking the code. All that is well and good. But this is the mistake, off comes the helmet and we see doughy, sweaty Pedro Pescal laying there. Pedro might have put it in his contract, but frankly, all I could see was A) just some guy, and B) the idiot from Game of Thrones who didn’t confirm his kill before getting his head popped.

No, no, no. Favreau screwed the pooch. Everything in that scene could have played through even more powerfully if the camera went over the shoulder behind Pescal. The android would see him, tend to his wound, we’d see that he’d learned to trust, let his guard down, but the mystery would still be there as far as the audience not seeing his face. The second we saw his face, he was just “some guy”. So long, air of mystery.

Poorly played, Jon.

Still, over all, I think the show’s a triumph though as far as bringing fresh, new Star Wars to the fans.

I’ll touch base at some point on season two before the end of the month.

The Doctor Who New Years Day Special

This upcoming New Years Day will broadcast the latest Doctor Who special, “Revolution of the Daleks”.

The special picks up some time after the events of the Series 12 finale, “The Timeless Child”. An episode so divisive amongst DW fandom, that the majority of fans just threw their hands up in the air, shook their heads, and closed the door.

The ratings, which had been in steady and consistent freefall each and every week since the start of the Chibnall era with Series 11, continued to speed toward rock bottom, even against no other competition on the other channels (unlike Series 10 and earlier).

Quick recap–it turns out that the character we know as the Doctor, is not a Time Lord, not from Gallifrey, and not dependent on a certain amount of regenerations before death.

No, according to “showrunner” Chris Chibnall, it turns out that the Doctor is a billion year old god who can never die. Ever. Just showed up as a child on Gallifrey one day, billions and billions of years ago. After dying in an accident, it turned out the kid could regenerate into a new, healthy body. The scientist who witnessed this did what anyone would, I guess. She tortured and killed the child thousands of times to learn the secrets of regeneration, so those who would one day become Time Lords could reap all the benefits. Billions of years later, the child would become the Doctor.

To put it in Star Trek terms, it would be like saying that the character of Spock was never actually a Vulcan/human hybrid, but instead, an undercover Klingon operative who’d undergone drastic cosmetic surgery. So the Spock we saw in TOS, the movies, etc. was a totally different character.

At the end of the finale –there was a lot more idiocy and bad writing involved but we’ll skip it– a squadron of Judoon pop into the TARDIS, and take the Doctor away to space prison.

Which brings us to the upcoming special, and trailer along with it, that let’s us see a bit of what they have in store. I wish I could say it was exciting.

***One important note before I go further– the special is airing on New Years Day 2021, just like when they did it on NYD 2019. What’s significant about the day is the arrogance or incompetence of Chibnall.

See, ever since the revival of the show in 2005, one of the big bonuses of having a season of Doctor Who was getting to end the year with a big CHRISTMAS special.

In the U.K., one of the most prestigious time slots you can GET is Christmas Day. It’s huge. The prime time of prime time. Previous showrunners Russell T. Davies and Steven Moffat always appreciated the reverence and honor of taking that Christmas Day time slot. They both. Ent over backwards to make it happen, campaigned for it, you name it. In fact, if you care about the show you’re running, want it to be honored and enjoyed properly, and get ratings, then you would without a doubt be campaigning for the coveted slot without question.

As a showrunner, frankly, you would have to be some kind of bone-headed numbskull to throw all of that away. Someone who literally doesn’t know how to run a show, and quite possibly couldn’t differentiate their ass from a hole in the ground.

Meet Chris Chibnall. Ever since he took over in 2018, he’s stated firmly that he won’t be doing any Christmas specials on Doctor Who. Ever. Former Doctors David Tennant and Matt Smith even wondered aloud at a convention why on earth they’re no longer doing Christmas specials. Meet Chris Chibnall.

My best guess, Chibnall’s greatest calling, mandate, whatever, is to put his stamp on the show, no matter how adverse the affects, because it’s about ego. To say to the world, “Hey, I’m in charge now!!!” Also to try and one up his predecessors. If Moffat made Number 11 live about 1,200 years, had Number 12 stuck in a confession dial for 4.5 billion years, well gosh, I’ll make the character as old as the universe! Hah! (All based on a one minute throwaway in-joke from a 1976 episode).

If RTD and the Moff were all hot and bothered about Christmas specials, I’ll show them, by shifting over to the far less popular option! Ha!

Even the decent decisions, like bringing in the first female Doctor and extremely diverse cast all went to shit because they were horribly cast and horribly written. Chibs wants to put his stamp on things, but so far, it hasn’t gone like he expected.

But on to the “special”.

Usually, you’d pull out all the stops for a special, bring in big names, something huge. The biggest they could get is John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness. Jack’s alright, and it looks like he’s not sporting a bad wig this time, but Jack’s been fairly played out over the last 15 years. Barrowman was trash talking DW through a big chunk of the Moffat era saying the Moff had something against him and couldn’t believe Jack hadn’t come back like everyone wanted him to.

Not everyone wanted him to.

Barrowman –professional diva and drama queen –would never pass up a chance to publicly campaign for Jack’s return in the most obnoxious, insulting way possible. Barrowman’s an over the top mess. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Moffat didn’t want to deal with that headache.

But Jack is heading the special, because it’s kind of the best Chibs can do.

They’re also bringing back Chris Noth as the Trump-like character from S11’s “Arachnids in the U.K.”, another horrifically written piece of crap from Chibnall. When the chips were down in that ep, he actually had the Trump character come off as the merciful, sensible one about putting the giant spider out of its misery.

It’s a bad sign when the Doctor is shown to be a bigger idiot than the Trump wannabe. Wrong wrong wrong. Arachnids was rated one of the worst eps in the history of the show. So they’re bringing back the main character from it. Good luck Chris Noth.

We also see the current, useless companions not doing much, but that’s been their lot in this era. Useless and ineffective. Yaz does seem to get attacked by a Dalek squid, so hey.

The threat this time looks to be a newly designed Dalek (always a great idea) and for some reason, Trump-lite is teaming up with the Prime Minister to publicly introduce their new security drones. That look like Daleks. The Daleks that have ravaged England and the world several times just since the revival.

Pretty much the second they show up on tv, one would think people would start freaking out because DALEKS.

I can only assume that Chibs thinks the fans are stupid (plenty of evidence to back that up), certainly Brits in the episode, including the PM are all suffering from either idiocy or lacking their long term memory. Of course, for the umpteenth time, Daleks are then seen flying around, exterminating, because Chibs is nothing if not unoriginal.

So, yeah, the usual amount of intelligence seems to have been pumped into this latest Chibs classic.

Oh, and the Doctor probably shows up, but we only see her in her cell, marking off days.

One wonders why she’s even marking off days. She’s an immortal god now. Why waste the chalk? Go take a millennium long nap.

The thing is, you usually tend to hope that the next ep…..maybe it’ll be better than you think. Unfortunately, after giving Chibs the benefit of the doubt over his two seasons, it’s never better. It’s almost always worse.

But don’t worry, you probably won’t get a review from me confirming the crap. MOSTLY, because I’m done with the daily blog as of December 31st.

Thank you.

The Great British Bake-Off

12 contestants are picked from thousands of entries each year. The new bakers then gather in a giant tent in a glen to compete in dozens of baking challenges.

There are three timed challenges each week. The Signature, which they have foreknowledge of and can practice at home, the Technical, where they go in blind with limited instructions, and then the Show-Stopper, which has to visually amaze and taste perfect. They can practice this ahead of time too. Amazing how seldom that helps them when the chips are down.

Each week, the one who performs worst must leave the tent. The best gets Star Baker. By week ten, only the top three finalists are left to determine who will be the winner.

What do they win? A very lovely glass cake stand, etched with the logo.

Because all they want is to be good bakers.

The best baker.

Quite a lovely notion. Very British.

Paul Hollywood has been the one consistent presence over the last decade the show’s been on. He of the steely blue gaze and frosty hair, beard and demeanor. His current judging partner is Prue Leith. She of the blazingly colorful outfits.

There have always been two comedians who announce the challenges, give timing updates as challenges move through the day, and mingle with the bakers amidst the bakes. The latest duo is Noel Fielding (The IT Crowd), and Matt Lucas (Little Britain).

Now, as to the quality and talent of the bakers themselves. And how they actually get on the show. I seriously thought they just picked a diverse cross section of people (age, sex, race, disability) who liked to bake. Nope, not that simple.

The producers bring in the applicants for sample bakes, baking on camera for screen tests, second auditions, more sample bakes for the producers, and even a psyche evaluation. Frankly, that level of rigorous testing blew me away. Especially after seeing how disorganized and incompetent some of the bakers on the show are.

After seeing some of the disasters and fails in the tent, the deadwood does tend to fall away in short order anyway though.

Where I raise my eyebrow is whenever Paul or Prue declares that “These three are the best bakers we’ve ever had!” Or that they’ve assembled 12 of the finest bakers in all the land!”

Hmmm, no, I don’t think so.

Really, without the incompetent bakers, the dopey bakers, the disasters in the making, you’d lose some of the reality tv type drama, even though the drama is all real.

This latest season just wrapped up and of the three finalists, one was such an unworthy disaster, the only reason this person survived to the final round, was that during the previous 9 weeks, there was simply someone who managed to screw up even worse.

So yeah, the company line about these being the *best* bakers…not so much. But they are nice and mostly entertaining. And again, the really bad ones don’t hang about.

Aside from winning the competition, the highest honor a baker can receive is a handshake from Hollywood. It’s somewhat rare, and an honor. In fact, Theresa and I concocted a drinking game for the show. We’ve only attempted it twice in the last few years. We call it the Great British Drink Off.

Off the top of my head, you take a drink if

Baker ran out of time

Something’s undercooked

Paul says something snarky

Prue gets excited about alcohol

Someone doesn’t turn on their oven

You *finish* your drink if

Baker gets a handshake from Paul

There’s a baking disaster/spill

If Prue shows fire(sass), shot of Fireball!

Those are the basics but it’s a fun game. We usually wait and watch the first three eps of the season together. This way, there are the maximum amount of bakers for the maximum amount of possibilities. Bread week is usually the theme for week three where all things are possible. There’s a different theme each week (pastry, patisserie, etc.)

They’ve got all the seasons on Netflix.

Get ready, get set, BAKE!

Blog Bits

Ever since I got home from the hospital, and discovered I had only two blogs in reserve, —when I really needed 26 to finish out the year/experiment– I realized that I had to go back to the well, and see if there were any subjects I haven’t covered that I should.

So I’ve been typing away on a few things, as I’d like to cover as much as possible before year’s end. Come January 1st, the daily blogs will obviously cease, as the experiment will be over. That’s not to say that I’ll never post up a new blog but it might be a while.

Now, while I know no one reads every blog, and most people need to be fed links or they just don’t bother, there was a gap while I was in the hospital, where I fear one really slipped through the cracks. Those that have subscribed got it delivered straight TO them, of course, the lucky bastards.

But I’m talking about a little piece I enjoyed writing called

“Winky the Giraffe had an itch”.

Honest to god, it’s a real story, albeit brief. Hopefully I can isolate the link here. If it just gives you the page to scroll through, just scroll down, might be on the second page, as they go from most recent, back to older ones. It was published and dated November 21st. I hope you like it, I had fun.

Link to Winky

Aside from that, well, they’ll *all* always be there, and you can scroll to your heart’s content, alllllllllll the way back to the beginning of the year. All 366 when it’s said and done.

The beginning of this year. Jesus.

Can we even remember that simpler, more carefree time?

Sadly, yeah, because the Thing IS.

Early days- home recovery

Having been home a few days, there have been several adjustments.

For one, I’m stuck on the main level.

One might think it’s because of the stairs, and you’d partially be right. Just coming up the 7 back stairs the night I got home was taxing.

But the actual reason I’m stuck on the main floor is my oxygen machine. I no longer have the upright tanks they sent me home with from hospital. Those were collected when The Device was delivered. I’m not sure if they were *supposed* to take the tanks but it’s not really a big deal. I’m not going anywhere for a bit.

The Device is like a medium sized modular piece of furniture. It’s centered in the middle of the main level in the dining room in front of the hutch cabinet. It collects air into it and then produces oxygen for me. There is an approximately 100 foot, loopy cord, that allows me full access to the entire floor, including my temporary lodgings (Theresa’s old room). Everyone has to be mindful of the cord, especially me, when I’m gliding across the estate.

But unlike the tanks, which rolled around, this Device has to stay put and be plugged in. So, I know this will shock you, but I can’t leave the house. I can’t even make any follow up doctor appointments until I’m clear of the Device.

The general order from the hospital is no oxygen when I’m doing nothing, and I attach the tube when doing things, which provides a constant 2 liter stream for the occasion.

Over all, I take it easy, but make a point to get something accomplished each day, even if it’s just updating the blog, writing out bills, seeking revenge on the shit birds who infected us, etc.

Linda’s feeling much better, pretty much back to normal, even went back to work this past week. At school. The Petri dish. Fingers crossed. She at least would have accumulated some antibodies I would think. Come on, vaccine.

Here’s something– I took a bath. I’ve always been a shower guy but lo and behold, the bath ain’t too bad. Of course most accidents occur at home, in the bath, and I’ve always been wary the scenario. But it’s the best of options right now.

After going over two weeks without proper cleaning or hair washing in the hospital, I do find that being at home, doing nothing, one or two days between a scrub up here and there is acceptable. My tolerance levels have shifted a bit.

My appetite is back in full force, but I’ve got to reign it in, as too much, and I kinda feel it afterward. Now, more than ever, moderation.

Yeah, I know.

When this drops, I’ll have been home for four days. Too early to tell if there’s much, if any improvement. Hard to tell if there’s been a 3.6% upward trend, so we’ll see.

I’m also still working with the lung expander device, where you suck in on a tube and you have to make certain bits of plastic float about as much as you can.

But that’s where things stand. Early days.

I’ll throw in another update in a week.

The Final Horse Guy

The Batman Who Laughs. WTF?

I was going to go into where DC comics is headed under new management but I’ll save that for another entry. This time, I just want to touch on the character that is either the most popular character DC has ever put forward, or their biggest mistake ever by flooding the stands with him.

Of course I’m talking about the Batman Who Laughs.

I must preface this by saying that I’m making observations on the preview pages I’ve seen promoting all this, along with the merchandising. So I’m not too knowledgeable about the finer plot points in the stories, just the fallout.

The Batman Who Laughs is actually a Bruce Wayne/Batman from an alternate reality, who’s been infected by Joker toxin. So basically, a psychotic, homicidal, Joker-like Batman, but with all of Batman’s skills, toys and intelligence. And he’s been the darling of DC comics for last couple years (seems longer), infecting people, killing people, and being established as an omnipresent character in the company. Of course, it’s dark and bloody and nihilistic, so the fans are –I assume– eating it up because what seemed like an initial appearance in one story has blossomed into a takeover.

The Batman Who Laughs has his merchandise, of course. Every time there’s a new character, they need an action figure based on them. Duh. And the more popular the new character, the wider the swath of merchandising.

The Batman Who Laughs is popular indeed. The Funko figure is a clear sign, but when they break out the life size or half size sculpt of just the cowl (like every other version of Batman), then you know the character in question has truly arrived.

I don’t know. What little I’ve seen of the character is really just more Joker but in a different outfit and more dangerous. I think I’m maybe tired if the Joker.

The mess that is the continuing story of TBWL– it’s big and involved and I only know it’s everywhere– is also tied into the Scott Snyder Death Metal, Death Knight, Dark Metal, Death Dark Metal Death storyline. There’s a Metal involved. Kewl.

I really used to enjoy Scott Snyder’s writing on Detective Comics before the New 52, and his writing on the first several years on the reboot New 52 Batman.

But then, he veered into Dark Nights Metal and a few other projects (All Star Batman) that are pretty wild. SO wild and convoluted at times, that I abandoned the whole thing. It kinda felt like Snyder had a psychotic break himself there. Or that we were now having the books written by the Joker. I don’t know but there was some off the hook craziness happening in these miniseries.

Snyder REALLY loves telling Joker and Batman stories. So having the Joker AS Batman must be a dream come true for him. I myself started to get really tired of the Joker and his over-saturation in the comics years ago, so having a story where Batman is traversing a desert with a talking Joker head in a lantern… yeah whatever.

So lately, I think I may have seen TBWL turn into a god or godly force — no idea– but he’s still causing chaos, and the heroes of our world, like Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman are still fighting him. I say “our” heroes, like potentially our versions we know but I can’t even be sure if they’re also from a different reality.

There are a zillion alternate realities, with a zillion different versions of a zillion different heroes and news flash, they’re usually not heroes. No, they’re “more interesting”, darker, murderous versions. Especially Batman.

Oh yeah, you’ve got a Murder Machine Batman, a “Grim” Batman (they’re all grim but this one just has a LOT of extra guns– think Batman meets the Punisher), a hybrid of Batman and Doomsday, a Green Lantern Batman, a Greek God from Wonder Woman themed Batman, a Flash/speedster Batman, you name it. There are thousands more, and they’re all very murdery. But they’ve got merchandise!

Other heroes are also around in never-ending alternate versions too, and have been for a long time. In the long running “Injustice” comic, –a tie in to a video game– in that reality, Superman goes bad after killing the Joker and becomes a fascist.

That version of Superman must also be very prominent, because in a recent article in a prominent newspaper, they were talking about the Snyder cut of the Justice League movie and how there was a dark, psychotic version of him in there, just like his comics counterpart. So I guess the regular, actual heroic version of Superman just isn’t being remembered anymore. Unfortunate.

He is still around, as is Batman. But it’s starting to get a bit like a Where’s Waldo scenario when actually finding the real characters on the stands is getting more and more difficult.