There are not many candidates that I can put forth, as I usually don’t leave the house. So it’s down to visitors, either masked or no.
Two possible instances, one more likely than the other. I’ll add in the timeline as I go.
The first event was a family get together on Oct. 10.
There were 10 of us. Us, the kids, my folks, and step dad’s family.
The folks drove up, mom can no longer be left at home while Vic makes his business trips, as she falls too much. I suggested she come up, which of course meant that everyone else had to come to our place to visit as she couldn’t move well.
Conditions–So we were mostly outside, no masks, not properly socially distant anyway.

Vic was comfortable enough with the situation, saying after the fact that Thom and Zana were regularly tested in regards to their jobs. Kayt and James, no clue.
The folks left town on Oct 15. The whole trip up and whenever traveling, the folks are allegedly very good about precautions–however good you can be while traveling through six states, going out to eat and staying in various hotels.
Next instance in the timeline is five days later, Tuesday Oct. 20th, where we had Connor from UNIVERSAL WINDOWS come by the house in order to purchase some windows.

Young guy, masked, sat with us (also masked) for three solid hours as he wouldn’t leave without a deal. Right out of car dealership, he even pulled the old “I have to call my boss regarding this deal.”
After three hours, he mercifully left, having had his price chopped to 25% of the original–I’m sure part of the plan. Put down half up front.
Three days later, Friday, Oct. 23, the company sent a guy to take measurements. He was a bit looser about how to wear a mask and even though he was only there for 15 minutes, he left quite a stink in the house afterward.
Three days later, on Monday, Oct. 26, I started feeling “off”, like I was on the edge of getting a cold, but for a whole week, the other shoe didn’t drop.
When it did, I just plain felt worse and on Nov. 4th, tested positive. Four days later, felt worse, ten days after that, went to the hospital.

As for the sterling folks at UNIVERSAL WINDOWS, I made certain to keep them in the loop. The timeline, had their guys gotten tested, since they specifically go inside people’s homes?
I left a few messages regarding this. They never even responded. Once.
Oh, they were very prompt about getting ahold of me to confirm my downpayment though. I’ve since put in a dispute with my CC regarding their payment.
It’s not like I could ever allow these morons into my house again, all things considered.
So yeah, UNIVERSAL WINDOWS.
I wouldn’t.

Is it 100% that it was them? Hard to tell exactly of course, but their demeanor, behavior, timing and bad business practices and lack of communication skills raised every red flag.

And there came a time when the mysterious, ancient Kal-tu warrior priests became aware of an energy. A power unlike any seen in the west or east. When, after years of searching, they found this new life force, they were aghast at its potential. Evidently, this person could summon his living chi to light this beacon. This finger.

But the application, the application… the possibilities are actually not that impressive. Finger lights up.

But it’s something.

So….update. Full disclosure, as I have done all year long in the blog.
Granted, not a great thanksgiving. The only other bad one was when I was stuck at Eastgate drugs working the night back in the ’80’s. That was sad and pathetic.
Technically, they have better food here too.
One problem about being sequestered here, I don’t get much up and around time, so I’m physically not at my best.
Up until Thanksgiving, my main concern was my low oxygen levels, shortness of breath, with most any repositioning change–standing up, sitting down, shifting around—causing a lot of shortness of breath, panting, which usually degenerates into the wracking coughing. Which of course feeds back into more panicked breath, back and forth, vicious circle.

I think we’re making small gains/improvements on the cough front.
But it wasn’t until Thanksgiving morning that I realized just how much of a physical decline had taken place.
Remember, from Nov. 4th on, I’d mostly been in power down mode. No activity. Fast forward to Nov. 26.
Coming back from the bathroom– because Mr. Dental hygiene just HAD to brush his teeth– I hit the bed at a bad angle, kinda passing out, delayed big headrush and bang smash boom.
Thankfully, my head is at least as hard as my side table. Discombobulated everything on the table. Thank god the iPad didn’t fall. Horrors of horrors! It’s my key to posting the almighty blog!
But now, I’ve got to call them if I want to get up out of bed. Understandable, but of course I didn’t immediately go meekly into lockdown. Once I calmed myself, I got with the program.

My bed tweets. Not social media, just an annoying noise. It’s like there’s some code built in to the bed where it occasionally throws out two or three tweets for no discernible reason. Wtf?
Daytime tv is every bit as horrible as I remember.
As far as treatment, progress, it’s all down to the steroids. They’ve plainly stated that there’s absolutely nothing else they can do.
I’m way too late in the game for the Remvedisvir or whatever it’s called, as even getting the plasma didn’t help.
So, it’s the steroids, being on 24/7 oxygen, and me building up my air intake with an apparatus you might have seen on The Right Stuff, a small device which helps you build up your intake and tolerance. Been working on it, making some strides.
As far as what’s next, that gets tricky.
It will take as long as it will take for me to respond, to right the ship, and of course I hope I can right it.
I’m a unique case, as this has been stretched out over a month total, the cancer, and
I’ve acquired no antibodies either.
And at this point, I’m doing some small arm and leg exercises to keep limber, etc. maintain some strength. So far, I dropped about 25 pounds, so I’ve gotta do something.

Appetite’s kinda coming back though. The doc says that if we see some progress across the board, then they might just send me home, trending in the right direction with some oxygen.
One nurse speculated that they might test me out walking around the room with a mobile oxygen unit. The thought being to help prepare for when I go home on oxygen. I haven’t heard any corroboration of any of this though.
As of this moment, there has been corroboration, they still haven’t done it yet.
Also, we seem to have the upper hand on the cough. Huzzah!.

The other exterior factor that might not surprise you is Thanksgiving itself.
See, there have been massive amounts of people traveling, meeting up, inside, huddling together for turkey day. The idea, basically, is screw it, we’re tired of being responsible, distanced, masked, etc.
No, not that they were that smart in the first place, but yeah, Thanksgiving is officially a super spreader event.
My nurses? They’re scared. See, they’re already at capacity at this hospital.
At some point, the already skyrocketing numbers of admittances will now get exponentially worse.

I may very well have to share a room with someone who’s worse off than me in the coming weeks, don’t know. Hopefully I’ll be outta here before the shit hits the fan.
Every day, every way, I can’t help but feel more and more disheartened by the selfishness and stupidity which infests this country.
Hope everyone enjoyed their turkey.
Let’s hope everyone around that table can enjoy it next year.

I’ll be honest, I’m slightly conflicted on what I should be thankful for, here. I’m writing this from a hospital bed.

You know, let’s see how things are going around Christmas.

Gobble!

But I can back it up. What does it take to be the best sitcom ever? My criteria is as follows.
We’re talking about a sitcom that had a great run on tv, and was always a rating success, and/or top notch quality comedy. Consistency. There might be an experimental pilot to begin with, or the audience might not have found the show yet but eventually they do and its success all around.
Which big time comedies don’t make the cut?
MAS*H for one. It was a great show, a very funny sitcom when it started, showcasing hijinks in the Swamp, while inserting the occasional reality of war. But then in an amazingly dumb move, two of its stars (Wayne Rogers and McClean Stevenson) left after season 3. They swapped in Mike Farrel and Harry Morgan. After season five, Larry Linville bowed out. People kept leaving, the writers too.
But the greater point here is that the show was going through a metamorphosis. By the time David Ogden-Stiers/Charles showed, suddenly, more often than not, it was a more experimental, serious show, that lay on a comedy bed. But it wasn’t really a sitcom for more than half it’s run.
That’s another bit– you’re out of the running if the show morphs into something else.
Cheers is another one. A truly great sitcom, but it might have worn out its welcome. During the last few seasons, every second or third ep was a bit of a clunker. They did have a helluva sweet spot though when it was Sam, Diane, Frazier and Lilith all interacting with the other misfits. A great show, just not number one.
The Andy Griffith show was, for the first five years of its run, the best of the best. Then Don Knotts left and it went to crap. Had they shut down after Barney left….
Seinfeld. Some of the best characters ever in George Costanza and Kramer. And most of the time, each of the episodes’ gimmick of writing four storylines for the characters and weaving them together worked great. Sometimes it was a tortured reach. And they couldn’t even stick the landing.
Friends and The Big Bang Theory. Some classic performances but I think I had to take a break after x amount of years, especially with the formulaic back and forth between Ross and Rachel, Penny and Leonard, blah blah blah. Sometimes, there’s just too much of a good thing and the writers can’t go on forever.
Sometimes, the networks just pile it on too high and too long. I get it– ratings, plus the stars make gajillions each ep. I can’t blame ’em.
The Odd Couple comes close. Randall and Klugman were truly the perfect Felix and Oscar. They only lose a point for the occasional forced celebrity cameo. Sometimes that can be awkward.
The Honeymooners also come close. Hard to beat Jackie Gleason’s Ralph Kramden and Art Carney’s Ed Norton. They only lose a point– through really no fault of their own, as it was presented in different shows, sometimes with a rather loud and unruly audience, and of course, time has taken its toll on the film quality.
Of course, the Mary Tyler Moore Show. It started out great, but then, as of season four, things really started jelling, around the time Betty White’s Sue Ann Nivens the Happy homemaker settled in, Georgette came in, the characters just got better, and better, and better.
No, the all time winner …
is the Dick Van Dyke Show.
Five seasons. Just as good when it began as when it ended. Drawing on his own real life experiences as a writer on Your Show of Shows, with Sid Caesar, Show creator Carl Reiner basically used just two sets, the Petrie home and the Alan Brady writer’s office. It told the tale of Rob Petrie (Van Dyke), head writer of the Alan Brady show, and the goings on at the office and his home. The cast was small and amazing, led by the rubber bodied DVD. Along with Van Dyke’s Rob, you had Mary Tyler Moore as Rob’s wife Laura, and their son Ritchie. At the office, Morey Amsterdam, known in real life as the human joke machine played writer Buddy Sorrell. Rose Marie’s Sally Rogers was his writing partner, and Richard Deacon’s asst. producer Mel Cooley, was Buddy’s comic foil and constant target. Occasionally, Reiner himself appeared as Alan Brady.
Here’s the thing that cements it though– they quit while they were ahead. Reiner could write his own ticket but he didn’t want to go over the same old ground.
He wanted to go out on top. And did so, leaving five excellent seasons of comedy.
Way too many times have we seen creators go for the money at the expense of the funny.
If you haven’t seen the The Dick Van Dyke show, or any of the others I mention here, they are worthy of binges.
But TDVDS is the worthiest of the worthy, because the Thing IS.

Some people have a bucket list. Although I do love a good list, coming up with things I wanted/needed to do in my life? 

Basically draw, because I like it, and create comics. Mission accomplished. 

The rest was icing on the cake, sort of what happens to you and what you can make happen. Once life happens, you’re in the driver’s seat, navigating the course as best as you can, speeding up or slowing down, hopefully making the right moves.

Whole bunch of good and bad stuff you do and don’t plan for. 

I’ve had a successful career, still ongoing, with more opportunities possibly in the offing. I’ve been lucky enough to have a wife and kids, who are healthy even when I’m not. Put the kids successfully through college. Was lucky enough to have a roof over our heads and paid off the mortgage. 

So life goals? Bucket lists? Never *really* needed ’em for myself.

What I wanted to do was draw. 

And I did.

Thus, I am content. 

……

As far as bucket lists go. 

“Contentment” can mean different things in different areas of life. That’s a deeper dive for another blog.

But as far as bucket lists go, yeah, all good. 

There’s a delicate balance regarding a few things when it comes to a show like Doctor Who. Take, for instance, the notion of the Doctor having three traveling companions.

These days, we just shake our head when we see how Yaz, Ryan and Graham are written for, or *not* written for in Yaz’s case. Note, an effort was finally made in S12.

There often seems to be a general dismissal of the convention.  Three companions are too many, you can’t make it work.” 

I think we tend to forget that there were three companions nearly the whole first two years the show was on. And since they filmed nearly all year round, that was almost the equivalent of four seasons these days. 

This was because of how the show was crafted and built by Sydney Newman and Verity Lambert. They brought together two women and two men with a fairly broad age range to present different narrative perspectives from the main characters. Then depending on the story, the crew could be divided up, yet still have a fellow crew member to share the experience with. This tended to give the characters a chance to mix and match and bounce their different personalities off each other, thus generating more interesting personal moments, potentially leading to more character growth. It also helped to have fantastic actors in the form of Jacqueline Hill and William Russell as Barbara and Ian. Hartnell’s Doctor had wonderful exchanges with each of the TARDIS crew back then, whether they were happy, tender moments with Susan or Barbara, lecturing them, like when Barbara wanted to change Aztec culture as a god, or just arguing with Ian about their next move in any crisis. 

The four person TARDIS crew concept even survived Vicki replacing original member Susan. Even though Carole Ann Ford did a fine job, she didn’t think Susan was really being given enough substantial material to work with, often being treated like the screaming, helpless 15 year old –and she wasn’t wrong. But honestly, the team traded up by bringing in Maureen O’Brien, who wouldn’t stand for being written like a dumb kid, and good for her! The updated team worked just as well as the original. 

And though some are quick to point out that part of the reason for three companions with Hartnell was due to his age, he needed others to carry some of the action, this is true. But this sharing the burden worked well with Hartnell, Vicki and Steven or just Steven for that matter.

After Verity Lambert left the show, it would be decades before there was a producer or script editor or showrunner who could handle multiple companions and handle them as well as the original crew– and sadly, even that wasn’t long term.

The next time three companions were attempted was during the Innes Lloyd era, or as I like to call it, “the era of bad companion handling.” 

Lloyd had cleaned out the previous stable of companions (Steven and Dodo) and brought in two new ones (Ben and Polly). But after only a few stories, he then brought on Jamie at the end of The Highlanders because Frazer Hines was popular on set with the crew. This last minute change complicated things, because the scripts for the next couple stories didn’t have a part written for Jamie, so he and Ben had to share lines. This led to some desperate story measures as in The Moonbase, where, due to having no lines, they just had Jamie lay ill on a medical bed delirious the whole story. You’d like to think maybe that during the filming of the previous story, the Underwater Menace, someone might have rewritten Moonbase a bit to expand Jamie’s part but no. It seemed writing for all three of them was not an option. But they brought in a third companion. Note, they may have filmed stories in a different order from transmission too, but still, they had to compensate and it was a tad clumsy.

During the filming of the Faceless Ones, Lloyd wanted to jettison Michael Craze, who played Ben but keep Anneke Wills (Polly). Wills, to her credit, didn’t like that maneuver and opted to leave with Craze. It was this type of back stage manipulation by people like Lloyd that showed how little some of these producers cared about their  regulars. Quite unfortunate. I wasn’t really a fan of Ben either but you don’t like to hear about the leads being treated like cattle. But bottom line, the powers that be couldn’t handle three companions.

Flash forward to the end of season 18, and it was almost as if Tom Baker couldn’t leave fast enough, as his TARDIS was overrun at the end by the most annoying kid ever in pajamas, a meek fairy princess and a mouth on legs, soon to be joined by a new, young, Doctor. Producer John Nathan Turner cast these new companions because he wanted to recreate the type of TARDIS crew they had at the very beginning with the Hartnell era. More companions, more complex back and forth dialog between the crew and a sleeker character dynamic in general.

It didn’t quite work out. First, 5th Doctor Peter Davison was not William Hartnell. Even allowing this new young Time Lord his individual style, Matthew Waterhouse, Janet Fielding and Sarah Sutton were not nearly in the same class as Russell, Hill and Ford. Nor was the season 19 writing and producing of the same quality as that of season 1. You still had a mix of two men and two women, albeit all around the same age. For whatever reason, you had instances like Nyssa not feeling well and sleeping it off in the TARDIS for the duration of a story. It just seemed difficult for the writers to handle three companions again, even though that was expressly the point. So, goodbye Adric.

Now, leaving the classic era behind, there are a couple honorable mentions in the new era of showrunners knowing how to pull this off.

In Boomtown, Russell T. Davies manages quite a nice tale balancing The Doctor, Rose, Mickey and Jack, along with the Slitheen baddie in the story. All comfortably packed into 44 minutes too.

In Journey’s end, RTD handles Sarah Jane, Donna, Rose, Jack, Mickey, Jackie, Martha, another Doctor and even throws K9 in. That’s quite the balancing act.

During the Moffat era, he brilliantly handled ongoing stories featuring Amy, Rory and River, but most impressively in the Impossible astronaut/Day of the moon two parter. 

The other stand out was Dinosaurs on a spaceship, where the Doctor had a whole gang working with him, and all of them were written wonderfully. Chris Chibnall got the writing credit, but no, sorry, in hindsight, I am *forced* to believe that Moffat rewrote the devil out of that one. I’ve seen how Chibnall works *without* The Moff looking over his shoulder. I seriously don’t think that what we heard coming from Amy, Rory, Rory’s dad Brian, Nefertiti and the game hunter came from Chibs’ processor. It would not compute. 

*Actually, before we found out the true nature of Chib’s abilities and limitations, I was half hoping that he’d bring back the gang from DOAS into his era AS the companions. I mean, come on, how about Graham, Nefertiti and the Hunter? They’d be a heck of a lot more entertaining than the current configuration. 

Which *brings* us to the Chibnall/Whitaker era proper. Chibnall wanted to create that dramatic four person dynamic again that they had back in the Hartnell era, much like JNT tried. And like JNT, Chibs’ eyes were bigger than his stomach. While Whitaker might be somewhat comparable to Davison, she’s definitely no Hartnell. And although Bradley Walsh is quite good–the best of everyone in the TARDIS, in fact—Mandip Gill, and Tosin Cole are not even in the same wheelhouse as Sarah Sutton and  Janet Fielding. Actually, I take it back, they in fact are in the same wheelhouse. That’s just not a compliment. The mix of sex, age and ethnicity were about as thoughtful as you could get and you even got a disability thrown in. A shame three quarters of the acting isn’t there.

But again, we have a situation where a producer specifically puts all these people in a TARDIS on purpose and then has nothing for Yaz to do for all of Series 11. And there’s absolutely no character growth to speak of.

But we do know from past eras that the showrunners, producers and writers who know what they’re doing had no issue with this convention whenever they chose to employ it. 

I’d love to see the Doctor have a gang again. 

As long as you’ve got the right person at the helm.

This happened probably 15 to 20 years ago. An average night during the wee hours. For whatever reason, I was awake, rolling over, worrying about something stupid, trying to get comfortable when I heard… something. 

Downstairs.

NOW I was awake. I didn’t know what the sound was, couldn’t make it out. It might have been my imagination but I couldn’t be sure, so I lay there. At least a few minutes pass and eventually, I relax. Hearing nothing, I got comfortable and soon I started to drift—

There it was again. Faint. Downstairs somewhere. What WAS that?

So now, I have to go downstairs and check it out. I don’t WANT to check it out, because how often does a strange, unknown noise work out well? But, I have to check it out. *Someone* has to be the dad to protect the family who were all blissfully, and unhelpfully asleep. 

I grabbed the all purpose wooden club from under the bed. Can’t remember how I came into possession of it or what it’s from but it’s possible it was the wooden handle to a plunger we used to have– minus the plunger. Good, decently weighted stick, length of a forearm and if you got rapped in the face with it, it would hurt. A lot. You just might run afoul of it if you were an intruder skulking around my house making a strange noise every ten minutes or so. 

You can’t make the trip downstairs to the main level of my house without some creaking stairs, so there’d be no surprising a burglar. So I had to opt for the aggressive “I’m coming down stairs, whatever you are, so you’d better be ready to fight or take flight, because I might have a weapon and although it’s not a gun because they make me nervous, I may indeed have a decently weighted plunger stick!” approach.

I hit the main level, pop on the lights and scan my surroundings. Dining room, kitchen, bathroom, family room, front room, office… nothing. Nothing’d been disturbed.

Sigh. Had to check the basement. Gah. Grip the stick tighter. Alright, pop on the light down there and proceed. No sooner do I get downstairs to look around —

There it is again upstairs on the main level. 

Up I go to the main level again…..I was JUST up there! What WAS that sound?!?!?

Scan the rooms again. Now I’m just walking around the main level scratching my head. There is no intruder, but SOMETHING is making a sound, roughly every ten minutes. 

I think I was in my office when suddenly I hear it again from some other part of the main level. Slightly louder. But where? Sound tends to bounce around my house at times, and a small, unfamiliar, weird noise was that much harder to track. That last time I heard it, there was something about it, tickling the back of my mind…did I recognize it or not?

What WAS that?!?

Having determined it was definitely coming from somewhere on the main level, I positioned myself dead center in the middle of the dining room and waited. I would wait as long as it takes for whatever it was to make its sonic move…

THERE it was again– FAMILY ROOM! I was narrowing it down!

Okay, family room. I placed myself middle of the family room. And waited.

Yeah, there’d be no sleeping tonight.

As I waited, I just couldn’t imagine what it was. I looked around the room. Tv was definitely off, wasn’t the smoke detector, as that damn thing was another story. No radio in the room, all other electronic devices were off. Sewing stuff, couple kids toys, all off. 

It was when I turned toward the writing desk and spotted the Dalek in the corner that it uttered, in a low, guttural tone…

“Exterminate”

But I wasn’t blasted to atoms, no. 

Eyes wide in amazement, I walked over to my three, prized Dalek figures from Product Enterprise. These fantastic toys said four or five phrases whenever you pressed the button. Evidently, when the batteries wear down, these Daleks let you know they were losing power the only way they could. Their timing was not ideal though. 

There being three of them, a red, a gray and a black Dalek, I didn’t know which one was trying to kill me, so I had no choice but to get the tiny Phillips head screwdriver and set about disarming the tin potted terrors. On one hand, it was a shame, because it was fun to hear the Daleks at the press of the button and that was now over if this was what I had to contend with whenever any one of the three of them had a low battery. On the other hand…

I didn’t need or want to be woken up by Roy Skelton in the middle of the night. 

Winky the giraffe was ambling around the plains, enjoying a lovely day. His left eye occasionally exhibiting evidence of the nervous twitch which is part of his condition, and is really the driving force of this story. That, and his itch.

Winky scanned the horizon for other giraffes but saw none. This was a problem because of his itch. Located on his rear inner haunch, it was the one place he simply couldn’t reach to scratch and it was driving him bonkers. Even rubbing up against the rare tree wouldn’t do the trick, undignified as it was. So, he wandered, in search of a scratching savior. 

Eventually, he came upon a group of elephants, led by a brusque fellow by the name of Baraloton. Winky decided to ask him for help, he and his flexible trunk.

“Hi-de-ho, Baraloton, king of elephants!” Winky said, with what he hoped was just the right amount of respect and whimsy.

“Rumf, rumf, rumf, yes, hi-de-ho… why, it’s Winky, isn’t it? Yes, I never forget a face, by gum!” Bataloton proudly reported.

“We actually spoke yesterday, but yes, great memory on you, for sure, Baraloton. *wink*” Winky remarked.

“No need to be sarcastic, dear boy, I am an aged old duffer after all, got to take the small victories where I can, you understand…” the elder elephant decried.

Winky tried to interject, “No, of course, I meant no disrespect *wink*, I simply wondered if you would do me a–” 

Baraloton reared up in fury, “Mean no disrespect, you winking, spotted, long necked, insurrectionist! How dare you mock the king of elephants! I ought to uproot a tree, and thrash you with it, or better yet, uproot and smash YOU!”

Suddenly, Baraloton’s subjects surrounded Winky in a menacing fashion, fire in their eyes. 

“Wait, wait,” Winky nervously cried, “I have a nervous condition of some sort! *wink* I beg of you, noble elephants, *wink*, you’re my favorite animals! *wink*”

And they bashed him up pretty good. Later, after gaining consciousness, Winky hobbled off, realizing he was lucky that elephants are not cruel or mean or carnivores, and had just roughed him up. The worst part was that he still had that itch driving him crazy. 

Soon, he came upon the remains of some victim of a higher member of a food chain. There wasn’t much left of the beast, but ol’ Barry the vulture was was tucking in for sloppy fourths.

“Hey Barry.” Said Winky. “Good feast?”

Barry looked up, “oh, hey Wink, yeah, it’s somethin’ ta do, y’know, catch as catch can.” Then he turned his full attention on Winky, fully aware of his condition. “Heeyyyyy, you look pretty much beaten up. You a…. you okay there?”

“Had a run in with some elephants *wink*.” Winky said, tiredly.

“Hunh” grunted Barry, “Hey, sure, ha HA!, whatever floats your boat, am I right? You giraffes, kinky dudes, heh.”

“No, seriously, *wink*, I got beaten up by a gang of elephants! *wink*” Winky said more forcefully.

“Hey, hey, hey, none of my business!” Barry eagerly added, “But hey, if you feel like you might take a turn for the worse, let me know, okay? Ya know, a little professional courtesy, circle of life, what have you?”

Winky just shook his head. He didn’t feel like arguing and ending up blinking even more, so he moved on. It was a minute later when he realized maybe Barry could help him out with the itch! Excited, he turned, but the vulture had already flown away, off to find other meals. Onward went Winky. Bruised, tired, itchy.

It was late in the day, when the world weary Winky skirted around some rocks and suddenly froze with fear. There on the ground, seemingly asleep was the feared lion, Haunch-Ripper. Slowly, Winky started to back up.

“I’m awake, giraffe,” growled Haunch-Ripper, “but at the moment, you need not fear me, for I have just finished a rather large meal. I’m certainly not in the mood for a chase.”

“Oh!” Said a relieved Winky, and relaxed.

Haunch-Ripper appraised the giraffe’s condition “What the devil happened to you, giraffe?”

“Oh,” Winky uttered, “Elephants.”

“You know, I find I don’t really care. After this big a meal, I get pretty loagy. I just want to sleep, you know what I mean?” Haunch-Ripper said with a yawn.

Winky started to say something and then stopped. He too was weary, yet still a bit anxious.

“What? What do you want to say? Speak up, giraffe.” the lion commanded lazily.

“Well,” Winky offered, “I know this might seem odd *wink*, but could you scratch an itch for me *wink*?” 

“You got a nervous eye, kid?” Haunch-Ripper asked.

“Yes!” exclaimed Winky, “I DO have a nervous eye! I’m so glad you recognized it! It usually causes me nothing but trouble, with misunderstandings galore!”

“I figured,” added Haunch-Ripper, “Because a giraffe asking a lion a question like that, in that way….it just seems weird. But it turns out, I too, have suffered from that affliction in the past, so I understand completely.”

Winky was overwhelmed with relief. “Wow, that is the best news I’ve heard today *wink*. So, you’ll help me out?”

“Yeah, sure, where’s the itch?” asked the large carnivore.

“It’s right here,” Winky moved closer and started to position himself in front of the lion, “on my rear inner…….haunch.”

“But of course!” Said Haunch-Ripper, flashing his claws and smiling…

“Let’s take care of that little itch. *wink*”