The Family Trip to Hawaii

It had been 30 years since I was in Hawaii. I’d hoped it was still there…so I took the family…

Where as it was just Lin and myself that went to Italy and Greece, this was a full family venture like DisneyWorld was. This seemed like a fairly laid back trip where everything pretty much went smoothly. We stayed the southwest side of Maui and got a hotel on the beach for I think six days, five nights. Long flight as usual and a five hour time difference, so that first night was whackadoo. Should we stay up late to reorient or hit the sack now? I think the kids started watching “Tangled” in the hotel room at 1am, so we were a bit zombieish.

Each night, we explored the beach, and ventured along it to some of the other hotel restaurants. Several times, I partook of fish tacos with Mahi mahi tuna and oh man, that was delicious. The weather is more consistently perfect in Maui than most places, averaging ’70’s to low ’90’s year ’round. At night, they had some fascinating skies, where you could spot an occasional lightning storm, which felt like it was a hundred miles away.

We were out and about in our rented convertible each day (Hawaii!), enjoying the sun and warmth, exploring the different parts of the island. And it was pretty easy to explore the whole island, as it’s not really that huge. In no particular order of days:

*We took in the marketplace, saw a lot of nice stuff and I spent a nutty amount of money on a sculpture, but it was very cool. Sometimes, I get dangerous when I’m in “vacation mode”. The statue is still on display in our hutch cabinet, along with various other pieces we acquired on trips.

*We took the long and psychotic drive to the east end of the island. It’s like a 45 minute trip at fairly slow speed because you have to negotiate close to 25 blind, narrow curves maneuvering around the mountains. Some beautiful sights such as waterfalls and a lot of lush greenery. However. You never know who or what was going to be coming from the other way. One curve had a *truck* coming the other way and we had to squeeze the car up onto whatever tiny shoulder there was, so the truck could slip by and it was very close. 

At one point, a pick up truck came up behind us and got right on our ass. Obviously, a local who didn’t care about the blind curves, so I pulled over and waved him to pass us, which he did, thus ensuring he’d take whatever the blind curves had waiting if anything, so I followed him and it made things a bit easier–and faster. On the way back, we just took the continuing highway to complete the circle of the island. 

*We went zip-lining for the first time ever. That took a little getting used to. The expanse below us wasn’t a thousand feet but even over a hundred foot drop in the jungle was plenty far. Even though we were strapped in with a harness, etc.  it still took quite a leap of faith for me to jump off into nothingness. This was an episode of “Man Of Infrequent Action” that actually turned out well! 

As for the rest of our party, keeping in mind the kids were about 16 and 13 respectively, Matthew was very nervous at the start but was swinging with the best of them by the end. Theresa handled it well and Lin could do that all day. She’s the Captain America of the group.

*Then there was the time we attempted to drive up to the top of the volcano. Up and up we went, on an ever curving path up to the top, about 3,000, 5,000 feet? I honestly can’t remember. All I know is that it was quite a ways up. Evidently, there’s a bike tour that starts at the top of the volcano at like 4am, and you ride your bikes down from the volcano as the sun rises. It sounds kinda cool. Make sure to check your brakes beforehand, though.

But there we were driving up and even though my wife is a daredevil, there comes a certain height where she’s no longer having fun. At a certain point, we reached that height. Thing is, we had *no* idea how close we were to the top. No signs at all, just curving road, volcano on the right, and a VERY steep drop off to infinity on the left. We’d been driving so long, I thought for sure that the top was right around the corner but again, no clue. Linda had had enough, and at that point, while I looked for somewhere to try and turn around, I spared a quick glance away from the road– only then did I notice that there were clouds out there lower than we were. And then I had enough. Screw finding a conventional turnaround, I did a very dicey five point turn right there on the street, praying no one else was coming either way and back down we went. I’m sure the mouth of the volcano was fantastic and all lava-like.

*We also had a nice lunch at a restaurant at the center of the island which was a great lookout covering probably half the island. Also probably a good place to live in Maui in case of a Tsunami. 

That was, I believe, the last full blown vacation with just the four of us. We’re going to try and get maybe one more adventure in the bag before the nuclear unit is separated by life in general.

Deep Dive- Spider-man #121 – 122 (1973)

When Stan Lee left the day to day management of Marvel Comics in the early ’70’s to focus on integrating Marvel into TV and movies (to questionable success), it was indicative of several changes that I feel heralded the end of the Marvel Age of comics. Jack Kirby leaving in ’70 to go to DC, Stan going to LA and maybe the final good bye was the death of Gwen Stacy. 

To be clear, I’m not talking about the end in a gloomy end of all there is, but simply the end of an era. Arguably the best era Marvel ever had, starting in 1961 with issue #1 of the Fantastic Four and possibly ending with Spider-man #121 & 122, 1973.

It started out as a seemingly regular issue of Spider-man, chock full of the regular melodrama involving Peter Parker and the every day hassles of his life. Just returning from an international trip and a battle with the Hulk (as you do). Peter’s catching a cold and checking in on his buddy Harry Osborne, who’s done himself further damage by overdoing it with the LSD. Being a rich kid who’d never worked a day in his life, the pampered young Osborne was a mess.

But not as much of a mess as his father. Norman Osborne was a wealthy industrialist, inventor, businessman and psychotic, also known as The Green Goblin. As the Goblin, Osborne was incredibly dangerous, with enhanced strength, keen intelligence and a load of weapons, ranging from pumpkin bombs to a jet glider, all to attain power and as a bonus, make life miserable for Parker.

Because to make everything worse, Osborne knew Peter’s secret identity. But due to his own personal psychosis, he would sometimes lapse into an amnesiac state, remembering absolutely nothing about his ID as the Goblin or Pete’s alias.

You can imagine how stressful this would be to a young Parker, with the weight of the world on his shoulders. His 950 year old aunt May constantly on the verge of dying, trying to pay the bills by taking photos of himself in action as Spidey and selling them to skinflint publisher J. Jonah Jameson, and maintaining his crime fighting career all at the same time. All while trying to make a life for himself and his soulmate, the one, true, single love of his life, the wonderful Gwen Stacy. 

It’s enough stress to give a guy an spider-ulcer.

But as the events in the early part of #121 play out, Peter’s worried about Harry, while Norman — currently in his amnesiac state, is getting more and more paranoid and angry, as he finds out his company is losing more and more money, his son is a drug addict and he’s starting to hallucinate visions of Spider-man coming to attack him. He’s cracking under the strain and that’s not good for anyone.

He’s already kicked the visiting Peter, Gwen and Mary Jane Watson out of the Osborne house, saying they’re the cause of Harry’s “illness” and they’re no longer welcome. 

So they go about their business and while Pete stops by the Daily Bugle to get some cash for freelance photos he took abroad of Hulk and Spidey, across town, Norman has a psychotic break and all his memories come flooding back. 

Peter decides to websling home as it’s faster and because his cold or flu is getting worse. He just wants to go to bed and sleep it off but decides to check in on Gwen. 

When all he finds are signs of a struggle and a lone pumpkin bomb, he realizes that Osborne is once again the Goblin and he’s got Gwen.

In searching for the emerald egotist, his spider-sense somehow leads him right to the top of the George Washington bridge* where the Goblin is threatening to kill the unconscious Gwen unless Spidey kills *himself*, or just stands still while Gobby does it for him.

Spidey does not go willingly. The battle begins. Spider-man is not at 100% but still manages to give Osborne a couple good shots. Instead of prolonging the fight, Peter attempts to just grab Gwen and get her to safety.

Here’s where a rather good issue becomes one that gets referred back to in blogs almost 50 years later. Here’s where everything really DOES change in the life of the lead character in a comic. 

The Goblin swoops in before Spidey can get to unconscious Gwen and knocks her off the top of the bridge, sending her plummeting to the water some 100 feet below. Spider-man, reacting quickly, shoots a webline down, catching her boot, which stops her fall abruptly. Too abruptly. We see a “snap” sound effect by her head. 

Peter, relieved to have saved her, pulls her up, only to find she died during the fall. He, and the readers, are stunned.

The Green Goblin flies by, gleefully informing us all that of *course* she’s dead, the shock of such a fall would kill anyone! Yet we know, and Peter knows deep down, that she was never conscious, so there was no shock.

But the readers know that when he stopped her, he mistakenly killed her.

Issue #121 ends with the Goblin happily flying off into the distance, while Spider-man swears to make Osborne pay.

This was a shock to the reading audience, especially to ten year olds like myself at the time. Back then, deaths like this really didn’t happen that often at all. Usually because back then, deaths were permanent, especially among civilians and heroes. Villains would always have some nebulous apparent death that they would survive and come back to fight another day.

But this was Gwen. This was the woman Peter was going to spend his life with. But writer Gerry Conway and editor Roy Thomas had decided that there was no where else to go with Gwen, other than marrying her off to Peter, and they felt they couldn’t go that route. That Peter “wasn’t ready” (?). Depending on who you believe, Stan was either in on the decision or was unhappy they did it and demanded they bring her back immediately. Thomas said that would be a huge mistake and make them all look silly. Meanwhile, the fans were SO upset about Gwen dying, Marvel actually received death threats. Imagine if there was an internet back then. Some people might’ve gotten critical!

Keep in mind that both Thomas and Conway were young guys– Conway might even have been only 19, I’m not sure. In my book, this was a case of both the editor and the writer lacking the proper skill and imagination to do something with Gwen beyond what they’d done with her to this point. This was on them and was only the beginning of the long reaching effects of these dominoes toppling. 

Now, in issue #122, Peter is a man possessed.

The love of his life is dead and he’s out for blood.

He’s angry. Angry at Osborne and he knows deep down exactly how she died and he’s inconsolably angry at himself.

Right at that moment, he’s very dangerous to anyone who might get in his way.

He brushes aside police, and barges into the Bugle for information for a lead on Norman. Robbie Robertson makes some calls and gets him answers.

What follows is a final battle at a warehouse, where the Goblin dies, impaled on his own glider.

All in all, a grand two parter. Arguably, maybe that should have been it for the book. Sure, it’s a down ending, but considering the bonkers storylines that flowed in and out of the book over the next 30, 40 years…. well, maybe it would have been kinder to end things shortly after this two parter.

Re-Reading the two parter and the issues that followed in one of the Essential Spider-man collections, it was here that MJ quickly became the default girlfriend very soon after Gwen died. It might not have seemed like it if you were reading the book month to month but in a collected form, it played very much like Peter grabbed MJ on the rebound to fill the void left by Gwen. Decades later, whenever there’s an alternate reality, and Gwen didn’t die, Peter was married to her and it was always established again and again that Gwen was The One.

MJ, right from the very first time she appeared in the book, was the party girl, the carefree, flaky chick who was only on the look out for a good time, all the time. She was the exact opposite of Gwen. So when Peter just automatically clung on to her, it seemed a bit weird but stretched out slowly over the months, probably a bit more subtle.

But in the following years, we got Peter being cloned, him killing the clone, Gwen being cloned, lotta clones that kept dying and coming back. Then, eventually Peter and MJ got married and now, since it’s years later, so much time had passed since Gwen, many new readers were unaware of her and what she meant to Peter. Most came into the book thinking MJ was The One. Stan, who at some point just figured it was okay to move things along (Stan rarely thought long term), okayed Peter getting married, although that’s just one of those moves that automatically ages a character and puts them in a very different place in their life.

Then, another few years and more clones, the Clone Saga, which was one of the worst put together storylines ever created, a true clusterf**k. 

Then years later, (highly overrated, yeah, I’m saying it**) writer J Michael Stryzinski comes up with a hidden flashback that purportedly stated that Norman Osborne had a torrid affair with Gwen back in the day and she had two kids*** — possibly a story that was even more disliked than her dying. An even bigger clusterf**k. 

Then the powers that be at Marvel, such as Joe Quesada (another brain child) decided to make like Peter and MJ’s marriage never happened by “Magic-ing” it away by MJ making a deal with the devil himself (Mephisto). 

The astonishing amount of bad decisions, compounded by other bad decisions, decade after decade are amazing. Yet Spider-man is still very popular. 

Mind you, there have been some good and interesting storylines as well. In the ’80’s, Kraven’s Last Hunt was brilliant–where the Hunter buries Peter alive and takes over in the black suit— but that was Kravenof’s story. The Superior Spider-man was an excellent run a few years ago, where a dying Doc Ock takes over Peter’s body and actually becomes a better, more efficient Spidey. Highly recommended, but that was really Otto’s story.

But regular ol Spidey has had *more* than his share of crap stories, yet still, he perseveres. 

Just goes to show, if you have a good character, it can whether even horrible stories–and terrible eras. 

*Evidently, it was the Brooklyn bridge where this happened but the mistake was probably only recognized by New Yorkers.

**Although I’ve liked some bits of his Spider-man run, I find JMS to be highly overrated as a writer and honestly, I’ve tried to get into Babylon 5 but it really is a lame, dated, piece of cheap fan fic that could barely hold my attention or keep me awake. As a show, I feel it’s not worthy of even docking at the upper pylon of DS9.

***I don’t know if the horrific idea of Norman sleeping with Gwen was Quesada’s or JMS, but they really should be ashamed of themselves. In the history of bad story ideas for a major comic book over the last 80 years, this one tops them all. Not only was it completely out of character for Gwen, it really wasn’t in character for Norman either, he of the red cornrows. 

Seriously, what was Ditko thinking when he originally came up with that hairstyle? And he used it on a couple characters! 

And I’m not sure when Gwen would have even had time to be pregnant since we saw her every month back in the day, and she not only never showed interest in Norman but she also never showed a baby bump. Much less gave any indication she gave birth to twins. Unbelievable, sheer lunacy and it showed the creative team had no clue about the characters. Impractical, illogical, impossible.

Seriously, back then, if there was any character that was a free enough spirit to party with an older industrialist like Norman after he had a few cocktails, let’s be honest, it would be MJ.

Slid Right Off The Plate

‘Twas the morning, (a couple years ago), and all good men (me) thought of having a tuna salad and cheese on toast sammich (sandwich). Ah, but the application, the application, my boy! 

I had the container of tuna salad out, the paper plate, the knife, and the bread was being toasted. I went into the fridge, specifically the lunch meats and cheeses drawer to secure two slices of cheddar from one of the many packages we have.

Side note: At the moment, we probably have nine, possibly ten different flavors of cheese in there, and perhaps multiple packages of some of them. Anyway…

So I procure the slices, and the toast pops up, ready for the next leg of my sammich odyssey. Matthew was at the table eating cereal, no idea where the girls were, probably at work. 

What I like to do when building an edible delight like this, is to lay out the two slices of toast on a paper plate, put a slice of cheddar on each, then microwave them for 30 seconds. Afterward, the cold tuna salad gets spread on the hot cheese and crunchy toast. 

Upon the ding of the microwave, I punched open the door and reached up and in for the plate, dragging out the bubbling prize. Unfortunately, while lowering the plate, and swinging the microwave door closed, I must have inadvertently shifted the plate, allowing both pieces of toast, covering in bubbling, melting, molten cheese, to slide off the frictionless surface, FLIP OVER, and fall, flaming hot cheese first, onto my forearm. 

Now….I don’t often lose it. Oh, I yell, I get mad, my voice carries just when I talk normally, so when I get really mad about something, or faced with some level of idiocy, condescension, incompetence or the like, I can ramp it up like nobody’s business. But there have been a handful of times when I’ve gotten so furious, I lose the capacity for speech. This put me on the brink.

What followed was a performance reminiscent of the Tasmanian Devil, as I spun around growling, screaming, flailing, with my arm on fire. Toast, cheese, plate, for some reason, a Kleenex box, all went flying through the air.

This is why I say I was on the brink — even this mad, I didn’t want to break or smash anything. Usually, there’s a civilized switch that prevents me from punching walls (because that’s stupid), so the biggest loser in this fracas was the Kleenex box. 

I was also still capable of speech too, as I also threw F-bombs around the kitchen. You might have heard them. I’d like to think this would be as close as I’d ever come to getting nailed with napalm. Oh, that was painful.

Meanwhile, 15 feet away, Matthew silently hunched over his cereal, slowly chewing. 

It was maybe a minute or two later, as I wiped cheese off various surfaces that I realized what an absurd outburst that was, coming off an uncoordinated screw up. And I started laughing. So did Matthew, when he saw the kitchen looked a bit like it got hit with spin art, ala cheese. 

Whenever I’ve attempted the same recipe, I’m more careful.

But that brings up a very good point. The elevated microwave in the kitchen. Just a few weeks ago, Theresa was making Mac & cheese in her apartment, in her elevated microwave, and she had an incident where she burned her hand when taking the bowl out and down. I think there’s a greater potential for accidents when you’ve got to reach up and in, then out and down with some of these items. Hot, sloshing liquids and the like.

If you have a microwave, I think a countertop model is the preferred placement. Less chance of some mishap. Just my take. 

Oh, and did I mention jalapeño slices? Oh, add those on the tuna salad/cheese/toast sammich…. perhaps on a bagel, even? 

Now, you’re cookin’.

Cremo!

Yes, you heard right.

What is Cremo?

Cremo is many things, many products, and unlike Kamiaru, Cremo actually exists and has a whole line of products I’d never even heard of a month ago.

Linda bought some Cremo body wash that I spotted in the bathroom. This elegant bottle of golden syrup called to me, with its majestic logo and the ingredients… bourbon and oak?

Be this sorcery? 

The aroma says no, simply a helluva good smelling body wash.

Cremo. 

Evidently they have a vast assortment of scented body washes, shaving creams (shaving…..Cremo?), beard oils, hair care products…

Gadzooks! 

… and I don’t throw out a Gadzooks! at the drop of a hat. It must be earned.

My wonderful wife bought me some Cremo and I’m happy as a clam in whatever scenario that would actually be. 

But when I have the good fortune to find out about something cool, I pass the knowledge onto you.

Thus, Cremo.

Mmmmmmm, Cremo

Cremo.

Party with the Dead!

Just thinking out loud, feelin’ lockdown-ish. 

If you were going to have a party, but can only invite *famous* dead people from history, because social distancing wouldn’t be in effect for them, who would you invite? And each one would show up as you remember them from your favorite era. 

Groucho Marx is the first one that comes to mind. From the You Bet Your Life era. Talk about the perfect guest to mingle and mix it up at a party! Maybe Groucho, Chico and Harpo are all there– they can even be the casual musical guests. Ah…sorry Zeppo. 

Of course, Abraham Lincoln. He gets a hug. 

Oh– Nikola Tesla. Ironically, I learned more about him from a recent Doctor Who ep than I ever knew before. What the hell, come on down, Nik!

Bob Einstein, also known as Super Dave Osborne and Marty Funkhouser on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Brother to Albert Brooks. Did a blog on him earlier this year. Just a rambunctious, funny, funny man, who will just give you shit and you’ll laugh while he does it. I think the older, more seasoned Bob would be the way to go. 

Ernie Kovacs. Inspired comedic genius and pioneer from the late ’50’s, early ’60’s. 

Dan Blocker, who played Hoss Cartwright on Bonanza. Beloved in the industry.

Jock Mahoney, who starred in Yancy Derringer. 

Clark Gable, Ava Gardner, Peter O’Toole, Richard Harris and Oliver Reed, because faults and all, this is how you make the party last for days. 

Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and Don Rickles. Because Rat Pack in Vegas, baby!

Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking, both in perfect, physical health. They can have a booth to spread out and talk in. 

I was iffy on Belushi because he might be a maniac but okay —bring him in with Phil Hartman and Chris Farley

And wouldn’t it be nice to have chat with Peter Falk

Okay, yes, bring in all your loved ones from your families. They’d love it.

What the hell — Fred Willard can come in and do commentary.

Now, we’ve got a party. 

Random Remembrance- the video recording years

During the ’80’s, I put on some goofy shows. Sadly, or maybe not so sadly, most of them no longer exist. 

I think it all began back in 1980 when I got my first car, a 1970, .302 V8 Mustang. Bucket seats. Sigh. Such a cool car, we built video adventures around it.

Through a bizarre string of events, myself, and friends of the time, Angelo and his brother Nick, were producing “The Adventures of Spade & Bottlecap”. If memory serves, Nick was Spade, with a jean jacket, knit cap and a sock puppet, whose name I can’t recall. I was Bottlecap, with a Stetson, a jean jacket and a very cool Mustang.

Most of our adventures have faded with time, but I do remember two instances. One was when the plot called for Spade to break Bottlecap out of an insane asylum (I believe my character was supposedly insane). So, of course, we went to the actual Tinley Park mental institution. As you do. With Spade in the getaway car (Angelo filming) down by the entrance, I went onto the grounds, right near the main building. The scene was supposed to be me making an escape, just sprinting away from the building like a bat out of hell, straight toward the car, being filmed all the way. On their signal, I would run. I was probably a quarter mile away from the car. 

On “action”, I ran like a bat out of hell…..then ….I was running less quickly….then …down to a jog…. got to the halfway point now…  At this point, I could not only no longer breathe but it occurred to me that if security was alerted, it would be really easy for the white coats to throw a net over the idiot in a cowboy hat who’s trying to run away. Thankfully, security was nonexistent at the facility. We then cut to let me rest up and pick up the action as I ran freshly to the car. 

The other memory is when we filmed the chase scene through some area of town. The boys were in the car “chasing” me and filming. The reason it wasn’t that successful of a chase scene, was that even though I got some good speed going, some dynamic action– unfortunately, by habit…I kept turning on my turn signal before each turn. 

Yeah, if your life is on the line, you’re not going to signal your turns. Very hard to suspend disbelief. 

In the late ’80’s, I did a fair amount of video work with my friend Don. Perhaps inspired by David Letterman at the time, we’d go to businesses and just interview people working there. We’d take turns filming and interviewing. It was fun and something to do–we could get into anywhere with the camera saying we were college students working on a project. Most people were very happy to chat about whatever. I think we got a free meal at a Chinese place. 

The one thing I really took away from the interviews, was that the guy behind the camera always felt like he was separate from the whole environment, since he was watching through the viewfinder. Case in point, we were at a Dunkin Donuts and there was this homeless guy who was very agitated, almost violent. I think he actually had a knife. Don was interviewing people and was getting a bit worried that the guy might stab him but six feet away, I simply thought it made for great entertainment!

Don and I produced a fair amount of mini episodes, usually while drunk. But in addition to our famous “Batman and Riddler” piece or the infamous “Marshall Brodine card trick with Billy”, the greatest was maybe “Son of Mannix”. The story was visiting Joe Mannix jr., who, unlike his famous private investigator dad, was a bug exterminator. Me in a white jumpsuit. This was just my excuse to do a bunch of stunts to the tune of the old Mannix theme. One of my favorites.

Yes, during the course of filming, I was actually running along and jumping off roofs, hanging onto the hood of a swerving car, while Don filmed and drive, hanging from the ledge of a second floor window, being scooped up in an earth mover at an abandoned site, cracking eggs (very Mannix), running, chasing, being chased, diving, shooting, you name it. The last thing I did was sniff a dandelion and throw it over my shoulder. 

The goal was to now edit it down to match it up to the length of the theme song perfectly. And believe it or not, the song ended exactly at the moment I threw the flower over my shoulder. Don and I cheered the cheer of adults with nothing better to do on a weekend but make a KICK ASS MOVIE!

Aaaaaand then I foolishly sent it to America’s Funniest Home Videos and it got lost in the mail. I was a dumb person to do that. But maybe it was for the best, as the glory of the video that’s built up in our memories might have grown beyond reality at this point.

Finally, 1990 had myself, Don, Jim, Steve and Lou travel to an Elvis impersonator’s convention. This one still exists. I think we each still have a copy. An entire hotel devoted to Elvis impersonators. A lot of them. Unfortunately there were more impersonators than guests coming to see them. And then you had certain guys like us who were coming to mock them. Well, some of them. Some were horribly bad and didn’t know it, some were quite good and under appreciated. 

And then you had me, who, perfectly primed with enough alcohol, actually shaved off most of my beard– on film– leaving giant Elvis mutton chops, and hit the floor to mingle. I could have used some sequins and a cape, but had to get by with my accent.

And… there is footage of me, Lou, Steve and Jim acting as background dancers to a couple Elvi. It….goes on longer than I would like. Long after Lou and Steve and Jim left me alone to dance behind the poor Elvi. 

Well anyway, we edited down the 2 hours of footage into a very nice, tight, quality 30 minutes. 

My wife was not pleased when I came home with Elvis mutton chops, roughly a month before our wedding, but fear not, I grew the beard back in time.

There was also an evening where myself, Lou and Jim dressed up as Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Alcohol was also involved. 

Believe it or not, none of these ever won awards.

Thank goodness I calmed down and never did anything silly ever again!

Dear BBC, take my money…

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here by saying the Beeb is now focused on animating all the missing episodes. If it is a limb, it feels very sturdy. The purse strings that used to be tied up in Gordian knots seem to have been sliced open and it’s raining animation money out there. 

How do we know they’re starting to spend money hand over fist? In the past, once in a blue egg, they’d animate and finish off two parts of a story like Ice Warriors or Moonbase.

Now, they’re not only animating whole missing stories like Fury from the Deep and Macra Terror but *just* for the sake of visual consistency, they’re animating the entirety of The Faceless Ones, including the parts that already exist. *That* is a significant step that says there’s a growing appreciation of getting a better quality product out there.

To go one step further, they even spent more time and money on “improving” the animation in Power of the Daleks— a story that was just released a few years ago. While that’s great that they upgraded the animation, is it worth re-releasing the thing now? I guess, if people buy it. How extreme is the improved artwork? I don’t know, I *don’t* plan on buying it. Maybe it would have been a better idea to wait and release the updated version when they collect all of Season 4 on Blu-Ray? Perhaps, but maybe it’s just an indicator that that Blu-Ray season collection is many years away yet. Maybe the time/money spent on improving POTD might have been better off spent on animating the remaining two eps of the Crusades? I don’t know. But I guess the money there.

Currently, the Season 4 to-do list includes animating all four parts of The Highlanders, probably all of The Underwater Menace (including the two existing eps) and Evil of the Daleks (including the one existing ep). 

Looking at the challenges for each– for the Highlanders and TUM, they’ve already got stock animated heads of the Doctor, Jamie, Ben and Polly. They usually grab photos of existing static backgrounds from scenes and run them through filters which saves time. So in both those cases, they mostly just have to focus on the extra characters and costumes for each, which would be the biggest time commitment. With “Evil”, they’ve got loads of Daleks from POTD, plus Jamie and the Doctor, so again, backgrounds, extra characters. 

Season 5 seems to be just as far away, if not a bit farther. They have yet to touch the 6 part Abominable Snowman, or the 6 part Wheel in space. Web of Fear is a sticky situation (sorry) when it comes to visual consistency. One ep missing, existing only in telesnaps. Do you go to the trouble of animating the whole thing? Or raid the house of the private collector and start shaking him and force him to let go of episode 3 already! (Or whoever has it) That’s a tricky one. Probably best just to animate that one alone. I’ve been carping about it for a while but I think it finally dawned on them that spending the money on animating all the eps will more than pay off when they release the entire seasons on Blu-Ray. 

You CANNOT have even one episode represented in telesnaps on a Blu-Ray disc.

Season 6, they’re only missing most of the Space Pirates. I can’t even tell if we’re dealing with a win-win or lose-lose there. 

With Hartnell, it’s all a bit more clear cut. Season 1, Marco Polo, Season 2, finish off the Crusades. Season 3… well, they’ve got their work cut out for them. Myth Makers, the DMP, Savages, add the Smugglers to the list since I’m sure they’ll tack that and The Tenth Planet on to Hartnell’s final season. I’m also pretty sure that will end up being the last season collection that comes out.

My main point here is that the Beeb is finally spending significant cash to complete all of Doctor Who and to get stuff ready for future Blu-Ray collections. 

Beyond the black and white era, there is one thing they have to do. 

A personal plea.

Hey, Beeb…I usually don’t re-buy the individual releases once they’re already out, but if you go in to Invasion of the Dinosaurs and replace the bad rubber puppets with convincing CGI dino’s, I’ll buy it again. 

And…and if you then go back in and upgrade them again to Jurassic Park quality and release it again? I’ll buy it. Again.

And then I’ll buy it again when the whole season’s out on Blu-Ray. Because the story is *that* good.

But if you *don’t* fix the dinosaurs, I might not even get Season 11 on Blu-Ray, because the entire season hinges on that. There, I’ve said it. 

I’m sorry, but I’ll forgive just about any bad effect in DW. The Scaracen, the giant rat, the Foamasi, even the Myrka, because it wasn’t even a great ep, and the karate move is priceless. 

But when it comes to those inexcusable dino hand puppets, to quote Picard, “The line must be drawn HERE!”

Small Surprise

We really don’t do fast food *that* often but Matt and I were on our own for dinner the other night and had Wendy’s delivered. I ordered a Double cheese everything and that’s a sizable burger… but when he took it out of the bag, he looked at it. I looked at it. 

From the size of that wrapped shape, at first we thought they got the order wrong and gave me single, or maybe a White Castle Slider had somehow mysteriously teleported into the bag, deftly switching places with the Double. Point being, it looked rather small. 

Opening up the wrapper, I had to study it for a second but on close inspection, yes, there were two, square, thin, small patties in there. And I wasn’t imagining it, as Matthew recognized the size disparity as well. 

Admittedly, it’s probably been several years since I had a Wendy’s burger. I’d say only a couple years but these days, every time I estimate that something happened “a couple years ago”, it turns out it actually happened 8 or 10 years ago. 

If I think something happened 8 or 10 years ago. It was really about 30 or 40. 

And if it seems like longer than that, it was really dinosaur times. 

You know, they have Medieval Times, where you eat turkey legs and watch jousting and knights battling — maybe there should be some kind of Dino Times, where you can watch guys in dinosaur costumes battle. They have some pretty convincing costumes at some theme parks… maybe it’s Universal, can’t remember. But I’m really drifting here…

It’s been a while since I had a Wendy’s burger but when the hell did they downsize the product? I’ll bet the *price* didn’t go down, am I right? Anyone? Bueller?

Thankfully, the vanilla frosty and sugar cookie that accompanied the burger compensated for any miniaturization of the main course. 

I guess I should still be happy over the fact that after decades of shortsightedness, of them having *only* chocolate frosties, someone finally wised up and said, “You know, Dave was a closet vanilla hater or something but let’s stop ignoring a huge chunk of the market and offer vanilla frosties too. 

And in the distance, a cheer….

For the record, the Double — although small — was still every bit as good as I remember it. Kudos. I remember back when I was a regular patron of Wendy’s downtown. I think it was maybe…. ten years ago…?  Yes, it was 1983 at the Academy and quite often, I would indulge in having a Triple. It was magnificent just about every time. 

Around the same time, I remember a class mate saying he had worked at McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy’s at different times back in high school. Of them all, Wendy’s was the only one that shipped in fresh food every day. Impressive. 

Hmmm…. “Welcome to Dinosaur Times!” 

C’mon, who wouldn’t love that? 

IT WAS HALF THE SIZE PICTURED…

Um…epilog…. Turns out, when ordering on his phone, Matthew simply ordered the wrong item. Nevermind.

Alright, nothing to see here, go about your business!

ITEMS!

ITEM: At some point in the near future, Matt and I will be sitting across the table from each other and running the hot sauce gauntlet, ala the Hot Ones on YouTube. We are both going to regret this stupid, stupid move. Coming soon. NEXT!

ITEM: There’s a coach on the St. Louis Cardinals called Stubby Clapp. You just soak that in. NEXT!

ITEM: I had a weird nodule on my finger for years, then it went away. Magic? Demons? Probably! NEXT!

ITEM: While we were lucky that no trees fell on our house during the big storm earlier this week, DAMN, we had major limbs come crashing down all around the yard. I was chopping, collecting, dragging and checking wood for 90 minutes. Good work out. NEXT!

ITEM: we also just got our house painted and no damage there from the storm either. Knock on wood! Or my skull! NEXT!

ITEM: I’m rapidly running out of stories from the old days, Horse Guy bits, random musings, Doctor Who columns and lockdown recommendations! Will I be able to fill out the entire 366 daily blogs? WILL I?!?!?! 

I successfully wasted one whole column today! HAW!

The Yearly Cable Battle

It’s around this time each year when I call Comcast to renegotiate a lower bill without losing too many channels.

But they’re crafty. They now have perhaps the perfect set up. They will lull you into a false sense of security and accomplishment before verrrrrrrrry slowly pulling the rug out from under you.

I get internet, cable and phone from Xfinity. The phone, I don’t use. It’s just there for the bundled discount. The internet is pretty reliable and very fast. The cable is the mercurial, shape-changing wizard that needs to be catered to, kneaded, caressed.

So, imagine my surprise when the very nice gentleman on the phone gave me everything I wanted and more for less money.

Mind you, I first had to work my way through all the automated BS by repeatedly saying “agent” over and over and over and over and over again until they connected me. But when I got connected– very nice guy and helpful. 

But of course he was fast, friendly and efficient. The automated service would be calling back 30 minutes after the discussion so I could rate my experience with him. So, I had a very pleasant discussion with the gentleman, saying that my year’s plan was up and I’d like to see if I could lower my bill, as we went forward. I also clarified that I was not interested in any of the movie channels, nor any of the sports add ons. 

He said that he could give me everything I have now, plus extra channels, all for a lower price. Boom. 

Amongst the added channels were Cartoon Network, making Matthew happy, TLC, which made Linda mildly happy (evidently it’s not the draw it once was, but she still has HGTV) and most surprising of all, the infamous Marquee Network comes with the package (that of course is the big Cubs baseball channel). It’s not something I was willing to pay extra for and was already resigned to listening to all the games on radio. But now I’ve got Marquee. ALL of this for about $20 less each month. 

But here’s where they’ll eventually get me. And you, if you have Xfinity, or let’s face it, any cable company….

So, I’m all happy with instant gratification and he asks if I can listen to the recording of all the details of the new agreement for my approval. I say yes and they play this four minute recording of the new deal. 

Basically, I get a certain guaranteed rate for the next two years and if I pull out, there’s like a $250 penalty etc.  This is no problem.

Then they do mention that certain parts of the package may have rate increases at any point during that two year period (hello, Marquee). So, you know there’ll be some price bumps over the next two years and meanwhile, once I get accustomed to certain channels, I won’t want to lose them anyway.

Crafty buggers.

Still, two years ago, I was looking at a cable/internet/phone bill over $200 a month, and that was about to zoom up over $250, so I renegotiated it down to $130 with a different package.

But that first year had my wife going without HGTV and that was bad, so the following year, I added some stuff including that which brought it to $145 per month.

Now, we’re down to $129 a month with everything, so even with the eventual, inevitable price bumps over the next two years, we’re still more or less ahead of the game.

And a percentage of all this stuff is a tax write off for home office purposes.

So, all in all, not bad.

The moral of the story though is that with the massive uptick in streaming services popping up everywhere, and a lot of people cutting the cord, it is possible to negotiate your cable bill down. 

And then take an automated survey.

Have fun with that. 

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started