Companies pay millions and millions and MILLIONS of dollars to air 30, 60, or 120 second commercials *during* the Super Bowl. It is definitely an event, seeing the alleged best of the best, most creative commercials of the year. Even if you’re not a football fan, it is fun seeing the whole state of the art technological presentation of the game, an excuse for getting people together at a SB party, the whole shebang. It’s a fun time! The only negative being having to go to work Monday morning if the party was too successful. Really, Super Bowl Sunday night is a well crafted production on every level. The fans win, the advertisers win, the networks win. And some years, like this one, there’s the extra added bonus of this being a very anticipated match up. Even if you’re not a huge football fan (me), watching the two best teams go at it on the ultimate stage is usually worth watching.

But what I cannot figure out — is why, the last few years, that they’ve started showing the big, Super Bowl commercials ahead of time. Why spill the beans before the big moment? You, the advertisers, are paying 5.6 million for a 30 second commercial to be shown specifically during the Super Bowl, watched each year, fairly consistently, by over 100 million people worldwide. 

Now, I’ve worked in promotion in the past. I’ve drawn literally thousands of storyboards for ad agencies over the decades. Some of them have gone on to be produced and shown during the big game itself. You want maximum impact and you want your product to be remembered and memorable. The Super Bowl gives you the spotlight, a true moment to shine. And don’t forget the 5.6 mil you spent for every 30 second chunk of that spotlight. And you know there are people who watch the SB *just* for the commercials.

So sorry, but it seems the height of idiocy to me to take away from that spotlight and throw your babies out there on the Internet a couple days early. After the SB, the commercials are out there forever. Why spoil your big moment two days earlier? Lessens the impact. It just mystifies me. 

Hey, some of the smaller companies out there? Who can’t afford the ad prices during the big game? You should throw a couple new commercials out on line a couple days before the big game. If nothing else, it might make it seem as if you’re big-ballin’ it with the Doritos, Coca Cola, Chevy or Budweiser elite commercials. It might up your profile, you knows?

Hell, *somebody* should do something clever here. 

Sounds like something you need a lime wedge for. As I lay here with abnormal amounts of phlegm that keeps hanging on eight days after the worst of my cold has already passed, sure, I worry about extinction level events. 

Originating in some China zoo/market/carnival/bathhouse (?), Chinese officials have been incredibly proactive getting the word out to the rest of the world about this strain of coronavirus and they are to be commended for that. That’ll probably save lives. But hearing the death toll taking a sharp up-turn in China, I sometimes wonder if this will be *the* virus, the one that takes a huge bite out of humanity like some Hollywood blockbuster film.

“Contagion”, was a 2011 film starring Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law and amongst others, a goopy Gwyneth Paltrow, who makes everyone sick. And in the movie, she’s also Patient Zero! This movie filmed a few scenes in my own little town of Western Springs. It’s the part where the people start fighting each other in a grocery store for the cure, looting starts, small businesses start on fire. Exciting to watch my lil town get destroyed. Good times. 

But I digress — extinction events! Christ, that’s depressing. Let’s just hope this Corona virus can get wrestled under control before it gets too out of hand. And of course fingers crossed on the no asteroids thing. 

“Contagion” rent it today!

I cope with potential global disaster with humor. You should see my one man show “Wit and wisdom, by the Fiery Light of the Astreroid”. I dress up like Mark twain. It’s a hoot.

Gerry Conway got away with murder, back in the day. He was a young kid who got some prestigious writing gigs at Marvel. He’s the guy that wrote Spider-man #121, the death of Gwen Stacy. Must admit, I think I kinda hated him after that for awhile. It wasn’t entirely his fault but that’s another story. This was the early ’70’s and Gerry went on to a stint writing the Fantastic Four, under the editorial eye of Roy Thomas. We’re only going to take a look at one issue from the run though, #137.

Back in the early 1070’s, it was catch as catch can as far as grabbing the latest issues of comics, be it at the grocery store or a 7-11. These businesses got what comics they got when they got ’em. You come in out of the blue or miss an issue, too bad. This was long before there were dedicated comic shops in every town. So I happened upon FF 137 and it was a part two. I had no idea what was going on and this was a crazy, bat-s**t story that I landed in. But I didn’t care, because I opened it up and splash…

Be still, my beating heart. Allow me to unpack all of this because believe it or not, there’s a lot, starting with the artists themselves. John Buscema was the penciler, Joe Sinnott was the inker and Glynis Oliver Wein was the colorist. Buscema was one of the finest illustrators to ever grace the comic book world. He had a graceful style but also delivered power. He was a master at composition, body language, expression, you name it. No one has ever mastered the fluid grace of Reed’s stretching ability like Buscema. Joe Sinnott had been inking the FF for a decade by that point, usually over the pencils of the king himself, Jack Kirby. But Kirby was a very different artist, drawing blocky, powerful figures, a more intense style that often called for a thicker line here and there to suit the power of the king. Sinnott had to adjust to a sometimes more delicate line when Reed was stretching or to accommodate Buscema’s more attractive and refined women. But he did so flawlessly. 

This next part is key — the printing process back then was very crude by today’s standards and the comics were printed on cheap pulp newsprint. So it could sometimes be a trial setting down colors knowing what the end product would be. But Glynis Wein laid down some beautiful tones that complimented the scene and the art but looked damn good even on newsprint. I wanted to show you the original look of the comic page because quite often these days, artwork tends to get “cleaned up” digitally and while it may indeed be cleaner, it’s not necessarily better. The newsprint usually aided in giving a slightly muted tone to the proceedings that would often tone down the more garish colors. Here’s a side by side, how the original may have looked when you cracked open the comic and then the digitally cleaned up and modified version. The cleaned up version isn’t bad but I still like the original a little better. Maybe it’s nostalgia.

Those that do the digital remastering and cleaning up– some know what they’re doing, some have no idea. Some techniques they use will actually subtly eat away at the lush linework of the art and some of the life of the line is lost. But of course, there’s always the original black and white art and when you have the opportunity to see the raw artwork on the page, it’s always a treat and always a better end product with absolutely nothing interfering with the art itself, no color to distract from it, no adverse effect from reproduction, etc. 

Now, the story itself is whackadoo. The Shaper of Worlds is some alien who looks like an albino Skrull (pointy ears) from the waist up and his torso rests on a type of tank travel machine instead of legs. He can grant someone’s wish and actually reshape the reality in your world. We eventually learn that the Shaper observed some two bit hood named Slugger Johnson, who was really missing the “good old days” of the 1950’s, so he just granted his wish and changed the present day into some ’50’s future hybrid civilization, which the FF had wandered into. But since anything Johnson wants gets whipped up by the Shaper, he grants him a castle and medieval guards with ray-guns for his protection. Also turns him into “The Brain”, an Einstein knock off. 

Listen, there’s mind control, with Johnny and fill in member Medusa (from the Inhumans) joining the Wild Ones (Brando type bikers on jet cycles) while Reed and Ben fall under the spell of the Patriots (conservative crew cuts) and when it all hits the fan, the FF start to snap out of it and intervene, Johnson feels threatened and the Shaper creates a creature with the body of King Kong and a Sputnik head (look it up, kids) to fight everybody. At a drive in. (Look it up, kids). 

There’s even a spotlight on how the ’50’s weren’t exactly great for the black populace back then, showing how they were disregarded and ignored by the white, clueless  Patriots.  It was a real Twilight Zone ep wedged into an FF comic but a true case of a kid like me not minding the bizarre elements of the story at all because the art was just so much fun, engaging, powerful. And really, just another day in the lives of the Fantastic Four in the ’70’s because… the Thing IS.

As a Doctor Who fan, first, if you haven’t caught the latest ep, spoilers coming, you’ve been warned.

But damn, showrunner Chris Chibnall has presented fandom with a puzzle regarding who exactly this new Doctor is. What makes this particular puzzle extra tricky is that the guy who set it up, Chibs, may have totally gotten in over his head and the foundation of his little query might be faulty. Like the goofy kid or absent minded grandpa who says they’ve got a really really great card trick, then halfway through it, they realize that no, it won’t work at all. Never mind.

Okay, so this new Doctor, portrayed by Jo Martin. Here are the facts about her we know so far, which aids us in our process of elimination. I am of course assuming that in reference to the following items, Chibs is not lying or screwed up and forgot details while in the planning stage.

1. Chibs says she is definitely not an “alternate Doctor”. She is the real Doctor.
2. She can’t be pre-Hartnell because her TARDIS is in the shape of a police box and that didn’t happen until the Hartnell Doctor escaped Gallifrey and landed in the junkyard on Earth.*
3. She can’t have come into existence after Troughton/before Pertwee, because she didn’t recognize Jodie’s sonic and Troughton had already had one.

*In the time between typing this up and posting, it occurred to me that there is an explanation of why the TARDIS was in its police box shape when Jodie dug it up. Think back to Day of the Doctor, when 10, 11 and the War doctor crowded into the TARDIS. It instantaneously glitches the desktop theme twice in 15 seconds hanging from 10’s to war’s to 11’s. different Doctor’s in direct proximity to the TARDIS can effect it in extreme ways. It’s possible that the old girl, who hadn’t seen her Doctor in who knows how many years, reached out and made a quick link with Jodie and responded to the out shell she knew. Reasonable enough. Plus, Martin didn’t make any comment about a change in appearance because when she got there, it was buried and they teleported right in. A possibility. 

What else am I missing? The only other thing I can think of that fits the narrative is that no, Martin isn’t the alternate Doctor — because *Jodie* is. Somehow, Jodie got shunted to Martin’s parallel universe and she’s the odd Time Lord out. 

If I’m right, I’ll expect a No-prize. I don’t even know if we’ll find out anything more this Sunday, but I hope Chibs has crossed his T’s and dotted his I’s…..

Chris Chibnall is the current showrunner on Doctor Who. He is not thought too highly of as a writer or a showrunner in many circles. Some things about Chibs:

1. In the mid ’80’s, an early teen Chris Chibnall appeared with other members of a Doctor Who fan club on a live TV show with then producer John Nathan Turner and two regular writing contributors, Pip and Jane Baker. Young Chibs was the most vocal of the young, criticizing the previous season 23 as very disappointing, poorly written and often silly. 
2. Because of the popularity of Broadchurch, a show Chibs ran 3 or 4 years ago, the BBC actually wooed him into taking up the showrunning mantle of Doctor Who from the departing Steven Moffat. Chibs signed a five year deal to produce three, 10 episode series in those five years. 
3. Chibs’ first series, 11, was every bit as disappointing, poorly written and silly as the classic season 23 he criticized years earlier. In fact, even worse. After a huge ratings premiere, the ratings took a huge nosedive, and kept sinking, continuing into S12, which kept sinking for the first four eps as people kept on leaving.
4. Chibs wanted to be progressive and forward thinking, so he cast the first female Doctor. But instead of looking for the best candidate for such a momentous occasion, he hired his friend, Jodie Whitaker, who got bored researching the role, so she decided to base her Doctor on Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Whitaker’s lack of gravitas and familiarity with the show and the character have brought her under heavy criticism, while Chibnall’s substandard scripts haven’t served her well.
5. Chibs also wanted to be very progressive and have a diverse spread of companions. People representing all ages, colors and disabilities. He gave initial attention to their backstories and then ignored them and focused on expanding the character of Graham, the middle aged white guy. But to this day, half way through the Chibnall era, all the companions are presented as useless, clueless characters to be written around or shoved to the side. 
6. One of the main complaints about Chibnall scripts in S11 was the tendency to go heavy on preaching in episodes and talking down to the audience, aiming stories at a much younger audience, right down to some very Barney the Dinosaur like lectures or Scooby-Doo physical antics. No conflict, no danger, no real stakes, just blandness. Some people were content with this. Many were not.
7. The BBC is reported to be very very unhappy with what Chibs did in S11 and how it performed so poorly against no other competition on Sunday nights. There may have been some commands or ultimatums put forth. 
8. S12 has seen a jump in the action, raised stakes, more tension, drama and some actual excitement. As of S12, episode 5, roughly the halfway point of Chibnall’s  planned run, “Fugitive of the Judoon” has finally put the Chibnall era on the map, raising eyebrows. People are actually excited by a new, previously unseen incarnation of the Doctor. This time, a woman of color, another first for the show, played by Jo Martin, is a Doctor from the past, but not one who’s remembered by Whitaker’s version. 
9. This episode also featured the return of Captain Jack Harkness, which really had no purpose whatsoever except to maybe giving the three useless companions something to do and someone to talk to. On the bright side, Jo Martin is a vastly superior Doctor to Jodie in every way and she shows this in her every action, every line as the Doctor. Jodie’s at her very best in this one, yet pales in comparison to Jo. But Martin does prove without a shadow of a doubt that a woman can definitely be the Doctor.
10. The upcoming controversy seems to be that Martin’s Doctor may actually be an incarnation that emerged and operated for the Time Lords between 2nd Doctor Patrick Troughton and 3rd Doctor Jon Pertwee, as the audience never saw the regeneration/changeover from Troughton to Pertwee. When last we saw Troughton, he was fading from view into darkness as his features started to change. When we first see Pertwee, he’s stumbling out of the TARDIS, passing out, presumably in Troughton’s clothes.
11. Chibs is seemingly trying to exploit two loopholes here. First, that gap between 2 and 3 I mention above. Second, that the Human metacrisis Doctor that Tennant created in Journey’s end was indeed *not* counted as one of the thirteen bodies, and Martin would be the missing puzzle piece. So I wouldn’t necessarily have an issue with any of that.
12. What I do have an issue with is the fact that Chibnall is always just stealing old story ideas left and right. In Spyfall part 2, he blatantly stole from The Sound of Drums, Age of Steel, Blink, the Big Bang and others. Did it again in Orphan 55 with Mysterious Planet. He did it again Judoon but more subtly (maybe thanks to co-writer Patel). Now, he’s trying to rip off Moffat and the War Doctor idea. If he was a better writer, I’d feel differently about the theft because everyone borrows from the greats. Borrowing from the former greats in your own show, from seasons just a few years earlier though is a bit lame. Maybe desperate.

So I guess we’ll see where Chibs takes the second half of his run. It’s definitely got possibilities, I just wish he was a better writer, a more imaginative one, someone who knew how people interact with other people. He’s absolutely horrible with that aspect. It looks like one or more of the current companions are leaving at the end of S12 and I can only say good riddance. Thanks to the massive amount of crap writing, these three have been a huge waste of dialogue, and a waste time that could have been better spent of more interesting plots and details. 

In Chibs’ “valiant” effort to be so forward thinking on diversity, he never thought about the fact that he’d have a responsibility to these characters to actually flesh them out, respect them and except for Graham, he hasn’t done that. Even the Doctor, and if he doesn’t like or respect characters, the audience won’t either. The mere fact that he thought he was blazing a trail with diverse companions is a joke. In the new Who era, we’ve had Mickey, Martha and Bill, all vastly more well written and realized than any of the current set. 

Even within the TARDIS crew, after a series and a half, they don’t know each other well, the Doctor treats them like distant acquaintances (but calls them her “fam”) and has shown she really doesn’t care about them. The “fam” stumble around planets, gasping and blinking numbly, not even caring much about what goes on. No one else cares, so we don’t either. Chibs has done everyone here a disservice. Let’s hope that with the help of other more gifted writers, he can right the ship a bit in the second half of his era. 

The dead machine burst through the clouds at Mach one within a green sphere. Inside the renegade flight simulator, the test pilot had no control, so he held tight, trying to keep a cool head. In the distance, large rocky outcroppings were approaching very quickly. But just as the pilot’s heart threatened to hammer free of his chest… soft, smooth, deceleration. His craft was then gently lowered and set down on the desert floor near a rocky base. The Green subsided, the simulator hatch yawned open. As the pilot tentatively reached the opening, out beyond the rocks he saw the wreckage. Another crash. Closer, in the shadows, he saw someone lying very still,  head and shoulders propped up against the rocky wall. A few pieces of machinery lay around him… some tools perhaps, and a lantern. As he moved closer, he could tell the stranger was holding his side, injured. And something diff–

He wasn’t human. The pilot stopped, unsure what to do. The stranger’s clothes — form fitting, almost like a streamlined flight suit, green and gray-black. But his skin….it was an intense purplish red. Definitely not human. But whatever, whoever this was, his eyes opened … filled with pain. The stranger’s head turned toward the him, the pilot came to his side, where he could see the wound that was going to kill this man. When the stranger tried to speak, the pilot leaned in closer. 

“What is your….. name?”

“Hal….my name is Hal Jordan. Don’t try to talk. Maybe I can get help.”

“No, Hal Jordan of Earth. My time is… almost finished. That is why I had the ring seek you out. Here…”

The stranger took a ring off his finger, placing it in the pilot’s hand, which he then closed and gripped with his own trembling hands. The stranger from another world then closed his eyes…concentrated… and began talking to Jordan. But Hal realized he could hear the stranger speaking in his head.

Hal Jordan of Earth… I am Abin Sur. I patrol sector 2814 as part of the Green Lantern corps. But my time is done and my ring has chosen you to replace me. I sent it to find someone who is brave, bold, fearless. You, Hal Jordan, are that man. You will command the ring’s energy through will power. The Lantern charges the ring when you recite the Oath. Listen carefully and then repeat it out loud…

A few moments later, Abin Sur was still. The desert air whipped through the rocks.

Hal Jordan stood up. He glanced at the stranger and then down at the ring in his hand. It felt alive. He put it on, and pointed it in the direction of the Lantern next to body of the stran–next to Abin Sur. And then he spoke. A steady voice. Clear, determined:

“In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night,

No Evil Shall Escape My Sight.

Let Those Who Worship Evil’s Might, 

Beware My Power, Green Lantern’s Light!”

And the earth shook.

It was 1959. Writer John Broome and artist Gil Kane created the latest incarnation of the Green Lantern. Hal Jordan would be wielding the ring on and off for over 60 years.  He’s had some good runs in the comics over the years. My favorite is The New Frontier by Darwin Cooke. Hal shares the stage with other silver age DC heroes but it’s a fantastic late ’50’s period piece. Ryan Reynolds did the GL movie a while back– no, it wasn’t as bad as you may have heard and it’s worth a watch. The other popular GL is John Stewart, whose star shines brightest in the animated Justice League series. Well worth checking out. HBO MAX will be producing a new Green Lantern series, which I’m also curious about. There’s a lot to like about the Green Lantern. The Green constructs he creates with the ring’s energy, limited only by his will power. The Guardians of the main power battery on OA, his arch enemy Sinestro, etc. 

But the thing IS…… it’s that Oath….. oh, that oath…

Go ahead… say it out loud. I dare ya. 

***WARNING: Spoilers abound!****

With this daring adventure, Chibnall either began unveiling his own master plan which has been brewing since he got the gig but decided to wait until he was halfway through his run to enact it… or the Beeb had made it very apparent that he had to up his game BIG time to save his butt and maybe Doctor Who itself. FAST. I’m thinking the latter but nevertheless, high octane engaged! 

First he set the scene and kept us wondering what’s really going on while we enjoyed the Judoon being back. That was fun. Then the fam disappeared and no one, especially the Doctor, cared, but that’s normal. She barely thinks about her pet– I mean her “fam”. Then we start wondering what the deal is with Ruth and where’d she get the mad fighting skills!?!! “Baby, she tore off his horn!”

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Second, a chunk of the episode is spent on a diversion. See, once again, the fam are utterly useless. Even with two writers, they have no idea how to utilize them, so hey! Let’s get Barrowman back for an afternoon, that gets him out of Chib’s hair and gives the fam something to do! The viewers will be so shocked at seeing Jack, they won’t realize those ten minutes were a stall! High five!

Third, the real magic happens, instead of a fob watch, it’s a break the glass sign. Instead of the Master, or whoever, it’s the Doctor?! What’s more, this is a more imposing, impressive, better dressed Doctor who frankly has shown up the incumbent in less then ten minutes. Jo Martin has got gravitas, a much nicer console room, mad fighting skills and proves that a woman does have what it takes to be the Doctor. 

Is this Doctor truly pre-Hartnell or from a parallel universe?

I’m still not sure whether to be impressed, amazed or repulsed by the brazen explosion of flash over substance that’s successfully keeping us buzzing about a story that has barely started. But so far, it’s exciting.

CAN Chibs keep this thrill ride moving?

CAN the fam be killed off so we won’t have to waste more time on them in the future?

CAN they deliver a returning audience *and* ratings?

Tune in next time!

Same Who time, same Who channel!

…..because the thing IS…..I have to *rewatch* this one……

I don’t think I have an unhealthy obsession with Breaking Bad. If I did, I’d probably still be watching it now, over and over. I believe I’ve watched the entire series at least five times. It’s not exact because I’m sure I went back and rewatched the earliest eps more often whenever I went back for recaps, etc. at the end of every season. Especially the mind blowing ending to season 4 and of course 5A and B.

I watched the Colombian version as well. Yes, a production company down Columbia way decided to redo the entirety of the show, all 62 episodes. I think it was called “Metastasis” and it was on Netflix. Don’t know if it’s still there but it was truly fascinating to see this entire cast of Colombian actors tackle this series. They had to make certain adjustments with the little things here and there but it was an almost shot for shot recreation of Vince Gilligan’s baby. By and large, they did a decent job and Walter Blanco was good, although Bryan Cranston is a very tough act to follow. If there was an out and out failure in this production, it was the casting of the twins. They obviously were hard up for actual twins, as these doughy guys didn’t seem very threatening. But over all, the production is a fascinating look at and tribute to Breaking Bad.

I’m also avoiding spoilers because even though it’s been seven years since the show went off air, there are still people gravitating toward it who’ve never seen it before and I’m envious of anyone who’s going to get to witness this story for the first time. It’s a helluva ride and worth every minute. 

I remember them almost losing me early on with a particularly gory scene in season 1, episode 3. Gore is not my thing but there was a particular reason for it in this instance and they never had to go that route again. Plenty edge of the seat drama was coming down the line. I’m *really* glad I stuck around. 

Now we have Better Call Saul, a prequel featuring Bob Odenkirk reprising his role as Saul Goodman or more accurately, Jimmy McGill, his real name. The AMC series begins some six years before Saul meets up with Walt and Jesse in BB season 2. The show reveals the path McGill took to eventually become Saul and through four seasons, he’s coming closer to his world intersecting with Walter White. I’m *speculating* that season 5 might run parallel to or just run up to where BB begins and maybe season 6 might be the last as things run parallel.

Each season of BCS starts out with a black and white flash forward in time, so I have no idea how this thing will end but the longer it goes, the closer it gets to the events of Breaking Bad and maybe beyond. 

When BCS does end, in the next year or two, then yes, I will certainly pick up the timeline and binge the mother show all over again. 

I’ll then follow it up with El Camino, the Breaking Bad movie that serves as a sort of epilogue to the story and a welcome one at that. 

I think I can say with a certainty that I do not have to go back and watch the Colombian one again. I’m good. But if you know of any other country that’s done a version, well……let me know…..

Time was, in major league baseball, pitchers could and would add substances to the baseball. Vaseline, an emery board, you name it, anything to get the ball juuuust right for their pitches. Eventually, it went very public and the League had to step in. Gaylord Perry bragged about his mistreatment of the ball (cheating) all the way to the Hall of Fame! That’s not good, but it was overlooked for a long time before the hammer came down.

Some batters would add too much pine tar too high up on the bat, or use a corked bat, etc. The whole steroids thing started out slow and under the radar, then it got far more pronounced, abused and ended up being a huge mess — finally, again, the league had to step in — and a stain on the game that still hasn’t gone away. And yet a lot of pitchers agree that they’d rather face a batter on steroids than one that knows what pitches are coming ahead of time.

So now we know where to place this latest cheating scandal. A lot of players knew about the cheating or at least suspected it, having heard the garbage can technique * At home, the Astros would be getting a live feed of the game, and caught the signals from the catcher. They’d then signal the batter via two raps on the garbage can, telling them whether the next pitch was either a fastball or off speed pitch, allowing them to set up differently than they normally would. The opposing pitchers knew something was up. Kudos to the A’s Mike Fiers for finally saying something. It couldn’t have been easy for him, as a lot of players would rather the entire game of baseball be an illegitimate, meaningless joke, rather than someone breaking the code of silence. Screw them. 

How many other teams, players, their careers were adversely affected by the Astros’ line to line cheating in 2017? I hear players who spoke up during the investigation got immunity from their actions that season. The Astros’ manager, Hinch got fired. Their GM got fired. Alex Cora, former Astros coach, one of the masterminds of the cheating set up, then Red Sox manager, who took his team to and won the World series in 2018, got fired. Beltran, the new Mets manager and another Astros coach during the infamous year didn’t even start his season and got fired. 

Everybody got nailed except the players who actually did the deed. Then we hear allegations about Altuve, Bregman, Reddick and who knows who else wearing wires under their jersey’s and getting signals about pitches ahead of time via short, mild electric bursts. Good to see they adapted and upgraded to a new level of douchebaggery. There’s even a very incriminating video of Altuve approaching home plate after a homer, where he’s visibly instructing the awaiting team at home plate to NOT rip off his jersey, which they *always* do. Suddenly he’s shy? Or hiding something?

Baseball Commissioner Manfred is in a tough spot. A lot of people are screaming for the 2017 WS title to be voided, the rings taken back. They’re also calling for guys like Altuve and anyone else connected to this banned for life from baseball. I’m good with that. But although Manfred is supposed to protect the game, if he does something that costs the game money, that costs his overlords, the owners, money. Oh yeah, the Astros’ organization got fined a whole 5 million for the ’17 scandal. Because rules set in place years ago dictated that’s the most money that can be leveled in a fine against an organization. And yes, that is chicken feed to the Astros. Manfred’s a paper tiger who’s about to get shredded, I fear.

Here’s an idea, get rid of video replay, have the umpires just do their job, get rid of all tech anywhere near the dugout, cut off all signals to the dugout and clubhouse. 

But yeah, I don’t care who it is. Altuve, Trout, Rizzo, Bryant, whoever. If they’re pulling this crap, boot ‘em out. I only have one sport that I watch. Baseball. Clean it up or get out of it.

Today, we’re going to highlight a few of the more unusual pieces from my Thing collection.

Once in a while, I would search through eBay for interesting figures of the Thing in one form or another. There are some truly great ones and bizarre ones that I’ve never bothered with because of the price but as we can see, there are plenty of cheap options available. there’s never been much of a backstory to a lot of these pieces because they’d get plopped on eBay and off you go. I’ll tell you what little I do know about them.

First up is a marble with a tiny Jack Kirby illustration of the Thing on it. The King is not well represented in Thing merchandise in my collection and I find that sad. Of the plethora of Thing action figures and statues that have come out, none have accurately represented Jack’s work or really even attempted it. there was the time when the Randy Bowen company attempted to honor Kirby by doing a series of the Fantastic four statues based on an old over-sized Treasury edition comic reprint. It was a excellent book with an excellent cover and the statues are truly fantastic, I have the set. I appreciate the fact that they tried to honor Jack by sculpting the statues off the illustration. Unfortunately, in conversation with them, I had to give them the bad news that the illustration wasn’t done by Kirby but in fact, John Romita Sr., who had taken over the art chores on the FF after Kirby left. Ooops. Still, so many figures have come out since in the style of many other artists, Davis, Adams, Wieringo, McKone, but no Kirby. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a crime. 

This next selection contains some of the Mexican bootleg figures that are often prominent on eBay. All they usually are listed as are “Mexican bootleg! The Thing!” some are in such bad shape and expensive enough that I pass on them but then you get fun ones that are bad, yet clean, in decent shape and worth the $20 plus shipping. amongst this layout, you’ll see an egg shaped Thing, a slingshot, a 12” figure with almost no articulation and honest to god, a lamp, cheesy as hell. But it works!

Then we have the curious case of Thing sculpted out of wood. Very detailed and impressive, considering the medium. the once pointy teeth (?) have been shaved down to make it less disturbing (and really, the Thing isn’t even supposed to have teeth but I digress. It’s a very nice piece, and it has an orange stain to it as well. not a bad price for it either, if memory serves. It stands about 16 inches tall.

Next, this smiling, happy, stuffed, cushy, Thing figure is a rather big bundle of love around 16 to 18 inches tall. His claim to fame is that a couple of times, while my wife was downstairs cleaning, it leapt off the shelf and jumped on her ass. Twice. 

Finally, the latest addition to the collection from the Marvel select division of action figures, piece #150!

I hope you’ve enjoyed looking at my Things…